Cost of having Guests

↑ Bnei Berak 10 ↓

Mon, Jun 10 2024, 12:24 pm

amother OP wrote:

I can do real if we have 10 people or less. Maybe I should be better about really counting and doing that.
Washing in cold water doesn't get the dishes very clean so I can do it for one meal.

Maybe there is also a hack for cheaper nice papergoods.

Washing dishes in cold water do get dishes clean with today's efficient liquids. By the way it's not all about the food. It's how you present it. Paper plates will *never* feel or look as classy as real china.
Papergoods has it place but it's just so sad to see a hostess slaving hard over lots and lots of food and then it's all served on disposables. Presentation is important too.

joonabug

Mon, Jun 10 2024, 1:18 pm

amother OP wrote:

I try to accommodate for the different dietary needs and preferences. Healthy, kid friendly, what my husband likes etc.
The salads are served first course, the vegetable is served second course. Do you not serve salads at your shabbos meals? In my community serving salads first course is basic.

yeah I agree I dont really see where you can cut your menu

amother

Holly ↓

Mon, Jun 10 2024, 11:22 pm

My husband always says that our guests are our insurance policy. That really puts it into perspective for me especially since some of our guests are really difficult to have.

amother

Outerspace

Mon, Jun 10 2024, 11:25 pm

amother Holly wrote:

My husband always says that our guests are our insurance policy. That really puts it into perspective for me especially since some of our guests are really difficult to have.

What does he mean by that?

amother

↑ Lotus ↓

Tue, Jun 11 2024, 12:02 am

amother Holly wrote:

Its zchusim we can use and hachnosas orchim is huge!

Depends if you’re inviting your friends so you can socialize or if you’re inviting people who really need a place to be for shabbos.

amother

NeonPink

Tue, Jun 11 2024, 12:04 am

For washing dishes you can fill up a big plastic tub in the sink/counter with hot soapy water right before shabbos starts and cover it. Let the dirty dishes soak a few minutes in the water before washing. Should make washing easier.

amother

Navyblue ↓

Tue, Jun 11 2024, 12:53 am

amother OP wrote:

Also the cost of paper goods is so high. If it's just us that's only a few dishes to wash, I'll use real but to have nice papergoods is also adding up.

I don't feel comfortable serving as little as I do when it's just us. I'll be the subject of one of those threads LOL

Its also the quantity of things. Sleepover guests is double the cereal, double the milk, double the yogurts, fruit, crackers and snacks to have around.

This. We have family for yuntif. 6 meals times 11 people is 66 plates. I don’t have a set of 11 to use real even if I wanted to. And 66 plates is already expensive

amother

↑ Navyblue ↓

Tue, Jun 11 2024, 12:55 am

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

Well then she’s slaving away on washing dishes too. Maybe she wants to conserve her energy for food people will eat

Cheiny ↓

Tue, Jun 11 2024, 1:00 am

amother OP wrote:

We have guests almost every shabbos and most Yom tov meals. I am a great cook and I really enjoy the cooking and hosting. Today my husband pointed out how much hosting is costing us. When we don't have guests, the meals are simpler. I make a very basic shabbos exactly what my family will eat. When we have guests especially sleep over guests, our food costs go way up.
I know that shabbos costs are not in the rosh hashana calculation but like my husband likes to say the math is not mathing.
Anyone else cut down on hosting due to finances?

If you have emunah and truly do believe that every penny spent for Shabbos is paid back, then you know not to stop having guests. It’s a big mitzvah.

↑ Bnei Berak 10 ↓

Tue, Jun 11 2024, 3:36 am

amother Navyblue wrote:

This. We have family for yuntif. 6 meals times 11 people is 66 plates. I don’t have a set of 11 to use real even if I wanted to. And 66 plates is already expensive

Buy. Real. Dishes
Disposables will always be the most expensive choice.

↑ Bnei Berak 10 ↓

Tue, Jun 11 2024, 3:41 am

amother Navyblue wrote:

Well then she’s slaving away on washing dishes too. Maybe she wants to conserve her energy for food people will eat

My point is presentation definitely counts.

↑ Bnei Berak 10 ↓

Tue, Jun 11 2024, 3:43 am

amother NeonPink wrote:

Great idea!

Iymnok ↓

Tue, Jun 11 2024, 3:50 am

After each shabbos/yomtov seuda, u rinse off and pile the dishes in the sink. There is water sitting on each plate. The silverware are in a serving dish with soapy water. Everything washes of very quickly later on.
When we have a lot of guests, the kids end up with nice disposables.

amother

↑ Lotus ↓

Tue, Jun 11 2024, 3:59 am

Iymnok wrote:

I learned that you are not allowed to intentionally soak the dishes on shabbos or Yom Tov so that it will be easier to wash after.

amother

Aster ↓

Tue, Jun 11 2024, 4:04 am

amother OP wrote:

Sure, I totally get you.

We're expected to host siblings and relatives all the time and although I don't usually mind, our grocery bill doubles when we have guests.

amother

↑ Aster ↓

Tue, Jun 11 2024, 4:06 am

Cheiny wrote:

If you have emunah and truly do believe that every penny spent for Shabbos is paid back, then you know not to stop having guests. It’s a big mitzvah.

But that is never what the chazal said!!

Why do we women take everything out of context?

It does not mean going overboard in any way. You can't buy that tongue or have too many guests that you can't afford and then throw it all on the shabbos cheshbon.

It's only for things on your standard AND within your means.

↑ Iymnok

Tue, Jun 11 2024, 4:08 am

amother Lotus wrote:

I learned that you are not allowed to intentionally soak the dishes on shabbos or Yom Tov so that it will be easier to wash after.

It would be a problem for after Shabbos, but night to the morning is not hachana.

Ruchel

Tue, Jun 11 2024, 4:10 am

B'Syata D'Shmya wrote:

Can you compromise?
Perhaps your husband just wants a simple Shabbos from time to time to enjoy his wife and kids without hosting?
This is a shayla for your Rav...

Yup. This would be very hard for me to be on duty and covered every shabbes. Not to mention sleeping guests means dressing to go to the toilet or a crying child

SuperWify

Tue, Jun 11 2024, 5:05 am

Of course it’s a lot more pricier. Because I like to make a nicer meal than normal, not to mention that having more people means we need to make more food. Simple math.

I use real and if I don’t have enough then disposables just for the kids. I personally hate plastic. It’s probably more economical to invest in a lot of real dishes rather than buy plastic each time.

I’m a bit stuck for Shavous because I don’t have lots of dairy dishes. I ordered 3 serving trays from Amazon and I’ll scramble with the rest.