Cost of having Guests

Rappel

Tue, Jun 11 2024, 5:21 am

amother OP wrote:

I'm not so fancy. My regular guest menu:
Challah
3 Dips
Fish (g fish or salmon)
2 salads
Chicken soup
Roast chicken, potato kugel, grain, sweet kugel, roasted veggies
Dessert
Shabbos day:
Challah
3 Dips
Fish
2 salads
Grain/ pasta salad leftovers are eaten in the afternoon
Kugel
Cholent
Franks in blanks or grilled chicken
Roasted vegetable
Dessert fruit

Without guests:
Challah
Chumus
Flaked Salmon over salad
Soup
Chicken rice green beans
Cake
Shabbos lunch we seldom make a second course if we do it's just cholent.

Your regular meal is perfectly good. If you want to raise it, then add salatim. But pro tip - make one a week, and make 10 weeks worth. So one week you make chummus, another babaganush, another pickles, another matbucha... And then every week, you can pull out containers of your yummy salatim, without raising the cost or the effort.

amother

↑ Navyblue

Tue, Jun 11 2024, 6:21 am

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

Buy. Real. Dishes
Disposables will always be the most expensive choice.

And then who’s washing them? I really don’t want more work

↑ Bnei Berak 10 ↓

Tue, Jun 11 2024, 8:31 am

amother Lotus wrote:

I learned that you are not allowed to intentionally soak the dishes on shabbos or Yom Tov so that it will be easier to wash after.

If you need them for Shabbos/YT you sure may soak them.

SYA

Tue, Jun 11 2024, 8:47 am

amother OP wrote:

You can definitely cut out 2 dips and salmon from first course. From the main course, you don’t need potato Kugel, sweet Kugel, grain and roasted vegetables. That can be 4 carbs. Chicken and one side is enough. Many people get mostly full from the first course challah, salad and dips.

I think your non guest menu is good for guests too. Just add the cholent (it can be pareve) and it’s perfect.

If you enjoy hosting then continue on a smaller scale. No need to go all out. People come for companionship. They’re not looking at the food.

↑ Bnei Berak 10 ↓

Tue, Jun 11 2024, 8:48 am

amother Navyblue wrote:

And then who’s washing them? I really don’t want more work

Are you seriously asking? Do you expect imamother.com solve all your problems?

small bean ↓

Tue, Jun 11 2024, 9:15 am

Hacnosas orchim is only for guests that need a place. It's not hosting our friends and family for our enjoyment. Your friend or family is in need then it's a mitzvah.

I think that you have to decide how much you can spend on ahabbos and work around where to cut. I think having guest is enhancing shabbos and that's a mitzvah.

amother

↑ Aster

Tue, Jun 11 2024, 9:19 am

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

Are you seriously asking? Do you expect imamother.com solve all your problems?

Goodness, calm down!

She was just trying to express that using disposables might be a better idea for her given that there will be lots of dishes to wash afterwards and it doesn't work for everyone.

↑ Elfrida

Tue, Jun 11 2024, 10:25 am

small bean wrote:

Hacnosas orchim is only for guests that need a place. It's not hosting our friends and family for our enjoyment. Your friend or family is in need then it's a mitzvah.

How do you define needing a place? I was an older single, and contrary to popular legend, single women (and men) are very able to cook a Shabbos meal. I went out for company, and sometimes I chose to stay home. Sometimes I went to friends who I knew were not good cooks, but I enjoyed their company. In those cases I would prepare a light meal to have before I left.

So I needed, or at any rate appreciated going out. But it was social aspects, not food that was the main impetus.

amother

↑ Lotus

Tue, Jun 11 2024, 10:29 am

Elfrida wrote:

It was for your mental/emotional health. It was important for you and a mitzvah for them to have you.

↑ small bean

Tue, Jun 11 2024, 10:42 am

Elfrida wrote:

It's about your intention.

For me, I never say no if someone invited themselves to me, because that means they need a place. If I invite someone, is it because I want it or I'm feeling they need it.

If I invite a single friend, I would not be doing it for me, so it would be hachnosas orchim.

↑ Bnei Berak 10

Tue, Jun 11 2024, 10:57 am

amother Aster wrote:

Goodness, calm down!

She was just trying to express that using disposables might be a better idea for her given that there will be lots of dishes to wash afterwards and it doesn't work for everyone.

She was complaining 66 disposable plates was expensive and I agree. She said she doesn't have a set. I suggested to buy real dishes (far cheaper in the long run and looks nicer)

↑ Cheiny ↓

Tue, Jun 11 2024, 1:27 pm

amother Aster wrote:

But that is never what the chazal said!!

Why do we women take everything out of context?

It does not mean going overboard in any way. You can't buy that tongue or have too many guests that you can't afford and then throw it all on the shabbos cheshbon.

It's only for things on your standard AND within your means.

That’s your interpretation.
There is a clear inyan about buying special, more expensive Shabbos food than you’d use during the week, and that it’s good to buy something especially nice for Shabbos on Friday morning.

If you do believe you’re paid back for what you spend on Shabbos, you don’t stop inviting guests because of the extra cost. No one loses out on doing a Mitzvah.

And who ever said anything about “going overboard?” No one is suggesting OP bankrupt herself with very expensive or numerous delicacies. Once can just do more of the basic Shabbos foods their own family would normally eat…

↑ Cheiny

Tue, Jun 11 2024, 1:30 pm

small bean wrote:

All of it is hachnasas orchim.

amother

Maple

Tue, Jun 11 2024, 1:31 pm

Cheiny wrote:

If she can't afford to pay the bills it might be wise to cut back...

Does it say how you will get paid back for shabbos? And when? If right now she is spending extra and can't pay the bill she should speak with a rabbi before digging herself in deeper debt.