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Forum
-> Parenting our children
amother
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 Today at 5:34 pm
Hitting a child under any circumstance is never ok!
There’s no way in the world to hit and to say truly that it wasn’t out of anger.
If you say previous generations knew how to truly be mechanech with hitting I don’t believe it, they were either super angry or cold and disconnected.
There is no right in the world for anyone under any circumstance to hit a child or anybody for that matter.
Hands don’t hit!
For posters that reason with hitting children please stop with the justification of this act and speak to a professional.
I hope and pray that no child in the world suffer by the hands of his own parent.
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Giraffe
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Today at 5:35 pm
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Crying because I knew all along that children are just worthless garbage. They can be taken out to the back of the shed and shot like a dog if they hit a parent.
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amother
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Today at 5:39 pm
| Giraffe wrote: | | Crying because I knew all along that children are just worthless garbage. They can be taken out to the back of the shed and shot like a dog if they hit a parent. |
Can you turn away from the one poster saying those things towards all the others who are defending the children. I know it's hard when you're triggered and traumatized. Could you try?
What would happen if you blocked that poster and read the thread without her?
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sequoia
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Today at 5:43 pm
| Giraffe wrote: | | Crying because I knew all along that children are just worthless garbage. They can be taken out to the back of the shed and shot like a dog if they hit a parent. |
Children are not garbage. The birth of a child is the most wonderful thing in the world.
The poster who is ignoring your pain and even exacerbating it doesn’t deserve your attention. Anyone with a modicum of sense would know when to stop.
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#BestBubby
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Today at 5:43 pm
| amother Blue wrote: | | No we are teaching them it is not ok to hit another person. |
How are you teaching not to hit
if several posters said the child should not be punished for repeatedly pinching her mother and pulling up her skirt?
And it is the mother's fault for preparing supper when the child came home?
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chanatron1000
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Today at 5:46 pm
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How would you be teaching them not to hit, if the behavior that you model is hitting?
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#BestBubby
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Today at 5:47 pm
| Giraffe wrote: | | Crying because I knew all along that children are just worthless garbage. They can be taken out to the back of the shed and shot like a dog if they hit a parent. |
I am sorry you were abused
and I am not defending abuse.
If this discussion is upsetting you, please don't read.
I am talking about ONE potch in response to repeatedly pinching a mother and picking up the mothers skirt.
Nothing else
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amother
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Today at 5:49 pm
I’m sorry that’s how you feel after this thread.
It’s understandable if you experienced this kind of abuse and now read justification of the act.
Even if ppl will yell at me “we meant this or that” doesn’t matter what you meant, this thread is triggering and misleading.
I think that anyone that uses their hands on a child should go sit in jail.
Enough!
Contain yourself and find ways to discipline and regulate your child out of self respect and value.
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#BestBubby
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Today at 5:49 pm
| chanatron1000 wrote: | | How would you be teaching them not to hit, if the behavior that you model is hitting? |
The same way a parent can drive a car and a child cannot.
Parents have the authority ( with LIMITS)
and children do not.
And children understand the difference between parents and children.
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amother
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Today at 5:49 pm
| #BestBubby wrote: | How are you teaching not to hit
if several posters said the child should not be punished for repeatedly pinching her mother and pulling up her skirt?
And it is the mother's fault for preparing supper when the child came home? |
Punishment does not equal hitting children.
There are so many other options beyond hitting. It's good to expand thinking patterns and skills.
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#BestBubby
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Today at 5:50 pm
| amother Blue wrote: | Punishment does not equal hitting children.
There are so many other options beyond hitting. It's good to expand thinking patterns and skills. |
There are many posters here who said the child should not be punished at all for hitting her mother.
Do you agree?
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chanatron1000
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Today at 5:53 pm
| #BestBubby wrote: | | The same way a parent can drive a car and a child cannot. |
If cars didn't require keys, and children's feet could reach the pedals, there is no way kids ages 5-12 wouldn't be stealing their parents' cars and driving them all the time.
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spilltea
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Today at 5:54 pm
| amother OP wrote: | My 7 year old came home exhausted from school and needed my attention. She asked me to cut up an apple for her but I was in the midst of breading chicken and told her I'll get to her in a min. She got mad and said she'll do it herself (using a butter knife). A min later I rinsed my hands and told her, okay, I'm ready to cut it up now, but she didn't let me, she was too angry and just continued struggling with the butter knife. So I continued back to my supper making. After struggling for a couple min she gave up and said, cut it up now! I told her "I was ready before, but now I'm once again busy, give me just another min (I know that here I could have prevented things from escalating by just dropping whatever I was doing, but I didn't).
So she started throwing a tantrum and was totally out of control. She was lying on the floor pinching my feet nonstop and banging her head into me. I stayed calm and continued whatever it was I was doing. Then she lifted my skirt to my thighs (I was wearing short socks). I don't know why but that triggered me terribly, and instantly gave her a strong smack on her face.
She was bawling so hard she couldn't breathe. For one because it came as a complete shock (I never hit) and two because it came so forcefully.
I. Feel. So. Guilty. My baby was watching and she too got hysterical. I feel like the worlds worst mom. I tried to talk to her several times, but she was too angry at me. Later when she was calm I told her I want to give her a kiss where I hurt her. I hugged her and said I love her and that was that.
I'm not sure why I'm posting this. I think I need to get it off my chest. I feel awful! | [quote]
A little of topic but as a kid I would do outrageous things sometimes between the ages of 5-13 because there were things happening to me. Sometimes it’s a cry for help. Sometimes children can’t express what’s going on in their lives. After you figure out what to do (apologize, or not or whatever people on here are telling you) I’d monitor this behaviour. I wish you the best.
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amother
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Today at 5:55 pm
| #BestBubby wrote: | There are many posters here who said the child should not be punished at all for hitting her mother.
Do you agree? |
If it was me?
Either I'd lose my temper like OP or I wouldn't.
If I wouldn't, if my daughter was acting crazy, I'd stop what I was doing and pick her up from the floor and sit with her and ask her what on earth is going on.
If this was typical behavior then I would know that I cannot be busy when she comes home from school.
What would be the point of the punishment?
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#BestBubby
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Today at 5:56 pm
| chanatron1000 wrote: | | If cars didn't require keys, and children's feet could reach the pedals, there is no way kids ages 5-12 wouldn't be stealing their parents' cars and driving them all the time. |
No way?
If the children knew they would be severely punished for doing something so dangerous that would stop them.
But for those of you who don't punish your children you are correct.
You have no way to stop your children.
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amother
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Today at 5:57 pm
| #BestBubby wrote: | How are you teaching not to hit
if several posters said the child should not be punished for repeatedly pinching her mother and pulling up her skirt?
And it is the mother's fault for preparing supper when the child came home? |
You teach. The same way you teach children not to turn the lights on on Shabbos. To say please and thank you. To read. None of these require hitting.
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#BestBubby
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Today at 5:58 pm
| amother Blue wrote: | If it was me?
Either I'd lose my temper like OP or I wouldn't.
If I wouldn't, if my daughter was acting crazy, I'd stop what I was doing and pick her up from the floor and sit with her and ask her what on earth is going on.
If this was typical behavior then I would know that I cannot be busy when she comes home from school.
What would be the point of the punishment? |
The point of the punishment is to deter the child from doing it again
You just admitted you cannot stop your child from hitting you
So the solution is to drop everything and obey your child
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chanatron1000
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Today at 5:58 pm
| #BestBubby wrote: | No way?
If the children knew they would be severely punished for doing something so dangerous that would stop them.
But for those of you who don't punish your children you are correct.
You have no way to stop your children. |
There is no way to punish a kid in a runaway car. They're either in the next city or in the next world r'l.
But seriously, do you really think punishing kids is that effective? I've known plenty of kids who did not respond well to punishment at all. And once their parents decided to be strict and severe, it was too late to try any other parenting method. The damage is done.
ETA: not to late to try another parenting method, but too late to get that trust back.
Last edited by chanatron1000 on Thu, Jan 09 2025, 6:02 pm; edited 2 times in total
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Giraffe
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Today at 5:59 pm
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Since children are garbage, why are religious people upset when gay couples adopt a child, if they use surrogacy and give the newborn to the gay couple? then they say the child needs a mother and father. Now suddenly a child's needs are considered?
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amother
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Today at 6:01 pm
| #BestBubby wrote: | No way?
If the children knew they would be severely punished for doing something so dangerous that would stop them.
But for those of you who don't punish your children you are correct.
You have no way to stop your children. |
It might stop some children. It wouldn't stop many children. Especially impulsive or defiant ones.
My father beat my brother countless times for misbehaving. It didn't help. My brother has ADHD.
Severe punishments do not necessarily help. And then how much more severe will you go?
Besides it makes me feel like a nasty person.
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