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-> Parenting our children
-> Our Challenging Children (gifted, ADHD, sensitive, defiant)
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CPenzias
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Thu, Jul 11 2024, 5:49 pm
amother Olive wrote: | That’s why someone mentioned above that it can take time to figure out the right medication. A good psychiatrist should be seeing their patient at least once a week or so when they put them on a medication with suicide ideation as a possible side effect.
Once you find the right medication though, it is life changing. You have to be in it for the long haul. |
Oh, đź’Ż. I had an experience where my kid was seeing the same doctor from kindergarten. He was on intun and Prozac. Doc decided to put him on Abilify because he was "rigid" and abilify is what gave him suicidal thoughts. Doc denied it so I stopped using him. To make a long story short, he's not on anything and hasn't been for over 2 years and has been doing amazing bh bh. I'm so grateful.
It should be a parents decision. Not the school. I still stand by that it's unacceptable for a school to TELL you to put your child on meds
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Sewsew_mom
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Thu, Jul 11 2024, 5:49 pm
Ritalin is to stick kids into the system. Not all kids are born to fit in the system. Instead of putting them in a system that allows them to thrive, they suggest medication so they can be OK in their system.
It's wrong.
Yet they haven't yet figured out a different way.
If your child lived on a farm and had farm chores. How adhd would he be?
He obviously doesn't have the capacity to sit in a class with distractions and stay attentive. There is nothing wrong with him. Yet if you want to keep him in school there may need to be some bending you will do to fit it.
I think that choice is up to you.
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mha3484
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Thu, Jul 11 2024, 5:58 pm
I am 40 with ADHD with the H. Most of my kids have ADHD and what OP describes will affect her son as an adult too. No one likes the person who interrupts and talks when its not socially appropriate etc. Also being an adult is focusing on stuff we find boring. So I don't think its productive to say that meds are only for fitting in to the system. Try interviewing for a job when you interrupt the interviewer 3 times. Try driving a car when your easily distracted and blow a stop sign.
I think OP needs to see all sides of the meds or no meds debate to make an informed decision.
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mazelandbracha
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Thu, Jul 11 2024, 6:19 pm
I am a teacher. I would never suggest Ritalin, but I would definitely encourage testing if I felt it would be in the child’s best interests. Your next step should be trying to get to the bottom of why your son is presenting this way in school, and whether or not he is learning well. Children with learning disabilities can be disruptive if they are feeling lost during lessons. What have the teachers been saying besides “give Ritalin”….there must have been some meetings, right? See if you can get the school to work with you to find answers and give your son the tools he needs to succeed. If they are not giving you any feedback besides “give Ritalin” then it may be time to find a school environment that is a better fit.
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amother
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Thu, Jul 11 2024, 6:25 pm
Mathew Smith's teachers also insisted he needs ritalin despite his doctor saying it was unnecessary. The choice was to be expelled or ritalin.
His death at 14 was ruled by the medical examiner to have been caused by ritalin.
If your doctor thinks your child does not need medication, it's wrong for the school to insist. I think a law was passed protecting parents from being forced by schools to medicate against doctor's reccomendation.
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marineparkmom
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Thu, Jul 11 2024, 6:25 pm
What type of evaluation did the child have?
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amother
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Thu, Jul 11 2024, 6:35 pm
As a mother of a few children with adhd, I have seen how life changing meds can be.
It doesn't alter their personality at all, it just brings out the best in them. I think people have very outdated views on meds that they make their kid into a zombie, which may have been true way back when but is certainly not the case in 2024. And if it does, it's time to switch meds.
It's not always instantly successful, the psychiatrist has to try different meds and different doses to find what works. But it's so worth it.
Was I thrilled to put my kid on meds?
No way.
But I wanted them to succeed and feel good about themselves. You think a kid acting out all day and getting in trouble isn't affected by it? His self esteem takes a huge hit from that.
If he doesn't need it at home, you can just medicate for school hours.
And if the assessment didn't point to adhd, what did it show? High functioning autism?
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Sewsew_mom
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Thu, Jul 11 2024, 6:46 pm
amother Wheat wrote: | As a mother of a few children with adhd, I have seen how life changing meds can be.
It doesn't alter their personality at all, it just brings out the best in them. I think people have very outdated views on meds that they make their kid into a zombie, which may have been true way back when but is certainly not the case in 2024. And if it does, it's time to switch meds.
It's not always instantly successful, the psychiatrist has to try different meds and different doses to find what works. But it's so worth it.
Was I thrilled to put my kid on meds?
No way.
But I wanted them to succeed and feel good about themselves. You think a kid acting out all day and getting in trouble isn't affected by it? His self esteem takes a huge hit from that.
If he doesn't need it at home, you can just medicate for school hours.
And if the assessment didn't point to adhd, what did it show? High functioning autism? |
Thanks for sharing your experience.
This hurts me to hear you think this is the only way to help a child.
You are aware that there is a whole world out there of functional meds that work to heal the issue rather than mask it.
The child is struggling with something and instead of healing it there is a pharmaceutical company slapping out meds to profit and bandaid humans.
Everything is reversible.
And everyone has choices.
Yet to think you didn't have choices is sad to hear as a parent of these children.
End of the day. Ritalin is a drug. Someone is profiting. It works by numbing out parts of the brain. It's Def harmful, yet for some the alternative may be more harmful. So know your options. Know how our brains and bodies get affected by drugs. And make smart choices.
With that said. Of course teachers slap on Ritalin. A lot easier than serving healthy foods in class and teaching in appropriate settings for children to thrive.
Yes. Everyone can come out with stories how they saved their child/spouses /self. They are bandaids. Excellent to help someone temporary (if that's your way) and than work on the real issue.
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amother
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Thu, Jul 11 2024, 7:18 pm
I do know that putting my son on stimulants for school helped him a ton. We have him on the 2nd to lowest dose. His main struggle is focusing. My daughter has full blown adhd and has been on guanfacine which is a non stimulant. It works for her. It is taken continously but it really helps. We do hope to wean her off once she reaches adulthood to see it she would be OK without it. Stimulants don't work for her or have negative side effects. You need an evaluation to see what your child needs. The odd thing is that my sons school didn't tell us to medicate. They said he needed a special ed program. I had suspected inattentive adhd for a while and my husband delayed medicating. So we simply took the plunge and the school was happy.
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amother
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Thu, Jul 11 2024, 8:49 pm
Sewsew_mom wrote: | Thanks for sharing your experience.
This hurts me to hear you think this is the only way to help a child.
You are aware that there is a whole world out there of functional meds that work to heal the issue rather than mask it.
The child is struggling with something and instead of healing it there is a pharmaceutical company slapping out meds to profit and bandaid humans.
Everything is reversible.
And everyone has choices.
Yet to think you didn't have choices is sad to hear as a parent of these children.
End of the day. Ritalin is a drug. Someone is profiting. It works by numbing out parts of the brain. It's Def harmful, yet for some the alternative may be more harmful. So know your options. Know how our brains and bodies get affected by drugs. And make smart choices.
With that said. Of course teachers slap on Ritalin. A lot easier than serving healthy foods in class and teaching in appropriate settings for children to thrive.
Yes. Everyone can come out with stories how they saved their child/spouses /self. They are bandaids. Excellent to help someone temporary (if that's your way) and than work on the real issue. |
Your post is extremely condensing and demeaning to a parent who is doing her best. If you would do differently state your opinion about yourself don't critic her choices. And by the way her choices are following mainstream science and knowledgeable doctors who have years of schooling. You don't like it that's fine do your thing but be nicer others.
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amother
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Thu, Jul 11 2024, 8:56 pm
even if in the end ritalin may help, it is extremely inappropriate for a teacher to suggest drugs and even more disturbing to be pushing a specific one as if they know best/not interested in what's best for the child and only to make their lives more convenient. Yes, you can encourage testing but how in the world can they think they are in a position to push a specific drug when only very specialized and trained professionals are (only after their PARENTS decide it's a good decision for them to see the doctor)...
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marineparkmom
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Thu, Jul 11 2024, 9:54 pm
What evaluations has the child had? What grade is the child in? Is this a new difficulty or something that has been ongoing?
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amother
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Thu, Jul 11 2024, 10:07 pm
Did you tell the teacher what the doctor said? I was fighting my son's school for years about meds. He has ASD not ADHD. When he was 8, the neurologist said not to medicate. Every time the school started saying that ds needs medicine, I reminded them what the doctor said. Eventually, the doctor stopped treating autism, so the school recommended a neurologist who pushes meds. After a disastrous experience with ritalin, the school agreed with me that there's no point in giving ds a medicine that makes him worse. They also insisted that we go back to the neurologist that they recommended, and he prescribed abilify which makes ds much calmer but constipates him.
While schools can't legally force you to get your kid on meds, they could kick him out or make life miserable for you and him. Unfortunately, if you don't have a school to switch to and can't homeschool, the school holds all the power. As long as you have a doctor backing you up that it's not ADHD, you should be able to win the argument with the school. Make sure you have it in writing so the teacher knows you're not lying.
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amother
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Thu, Jul 11 2024, 10:36 pm
You could tell the school that you had your child evaluated and the doctor doesn’t recommend it. Then you could ask them for specific examples of what he does in class that is so disruptive and work with a professional to come up with ideas that the teachers can use in the classroom to help with the behavior. I believe that the teachers are recommending medication for many students. Instead of changing the system or learning the skills needed for good classroom management, this is an easy way out. Many teachers are burnt out and underpaid and they are not getting the proper training to run a classroom with 20 + students in today’s generation where the discipline is done differently. Medicating is not the answer. It’s actually sad to see the statistic of how many of our healthy young children are taking unnecessary drugs.
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amother
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Thu, Jul 11 2024, 10:41 pm
Sewsew_mom wrote: | Thanks for sharing your experience.
This hurts me to hear you think this is the only way to help a child.
You are aware that there is a whole world out there of functional meds that work to heal the issue rather than mask it.
The child is struggling with something and instead of healing it there is a pharmaceutical company slapping out meds to profit and bandaid humans.
Everything is reversible.
And everyone has choices.
Yet to think you didn't have choices is sad to hear as a parent of these children.
End of the day. Ritalin is a drug. Someone is profiting. It works by numbing out parts of the brain. It's Def harmful, yet for some the alternative may be more harmful. So know your options. Know how our brains and bodies get affected by drugs. And make smart choices.
With that said. Of course teachers slap on Ritalin. A lot easier than serving healthy foods in class and teaching in appropriate settings for children to thrive.
Yes. Everyone can come out with stories how they saved their child/spouses /self. They are bandaids. Excellent to help someone temporary (if that's your way) and than work on the real issue. |
Who says I think this is the only way? I am an educated parent and have tried and am continuing to try many many things. Do you know how many thousands and thousands of dollars I have spent on a functional dr and all the things he prescribed? Honestly, I do believe there is something underlying but we haven't found it yet after years and years of trying many different routes with multiple practitioners.
So in the meantime, NO, I am not going to let my kid continue to deteriorate and unravel completely. My goal is to get him off the meds, but if he needs it he needs it. So far nothing else has helped.
And stimulants are not bandaids, nor do they numb the brain. They actually do increase levels of neurotransmitters that are lacking in kids with adhd.
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Brit in Israel
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Fri, Jul 12 2024, 4:03 am
Sewsew_mom wrote: | Thanks for sharing your experience.
This hurts me to hear you think this is the only way to help a child.
You are aware that there is a whole world out there of functional meds that work to heal the issue rather than mask it.
The child is struggling with something and instead of healing it there is a pharmaceutical company slapping out meds to profit and bandaid humans.
Everything is reversible.
And everyone has choices.
Yet to think you didn't have choices is sad to hear as a parent of these children.
End of the day. Ritalin is a drug. Someone is profiting. It works by numbing out parts of the brain. It's Def harmful, yet for some the alternative may be more harmful. So know your options. Know how our brains and bodies get affected by drugs. And make smart choices.
With that said. Of course teachers slap on Ritalin. A lot easier than serving healthy foods in class and teaching in appropriate settings for children to thrive.
Yes. Everyone can come out with stories how they saved their child/spouses /self. They are bandaids. Excellent to help someone temporary (if that's your way) and than work on the real issue. |
What you are saying is the same as saying someone who is pregnant and progesterone levels aren't high enough shouldn't take progesterone???
Ritalin and the like help the brain produce dopamine which someone with ADHD is missing.
Yes someone who isn't ADHD but having extra dopamine helps them be calm it's a bandaid but if a child is suffering from ADHD it is the cure for them, of course not the only one but it is one.
BTW children with the cleanest diets can also have ADHD it's genetical. (Yes I know of some).
If you or your kids don't have it be grateful, don't tell parents how to not help their kids unless you are raising them.
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amother
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Fri, Jul 12 2024, 4:21 am
Sewsew_mom wrote: | Thanks for sharing your experience.
This hurts me to hear you think this is the only way to help a child.
You are aware that there is a whole world out there of functional meds that work to heal the issue rather than mask it.
The child is struggling with something and instead of healing it there is a pharmaceutical company slapping out meds to profit and bandaid humans.
Everything is reversible.
And everyone has choices.
Yet to think you didn't have choices is sad to hear as a parent of these children.
End of the day. Ritalin is a drug. Someone is profiting. It works by numbing out parts of the brain. It's Def harmful, yet for some the alternative may be more harmful. So know your options. Know how our brains and bodies get affected by drugs. And make smart choices.
With that said. Of course teachers slap on Ritalin. A lot easier than serving healthy foods in class and teaching in appropriate settings for children to thrive.
Yes. Everyone can come out with stories how they saved their child/spouses /self. They are bandaids. Excellent to help someone temporary (if that's your way) and than work on the real issue. |
Wow, so painful to as people still spewing this rubbish and invalidating the ADHD experience for so many of us. My parents were as "brilliant" as you are and dismissed the meds route. I ended up OTD, suicidal, and depressed. As an adult, I remembered about my diagnosis and finally started medical treatment. It's a low dose and it was a life changer. Other psychiatric issues disappeared with my ADHD treatment. I still suffer from the pain caused by untreated ADHD.
Your post is so full of ignorance, and ADHD meds don't "numb" parts of the brain, omg. You sound like someone arguing that a diabetic shouldn't have insulin.
You're saying "everything is reversible." No, everything is not reversible. People with untreated ADHD can take their own lives or hurt others. It's a regulatory problem and kids only benefit when they're treated. Kids that survive without meds are often so worn down and drained from having to cope without meds and from the ostracism they suffered that they can be traumatised for life.
Please stop posting harmful and ignorant misinformation.
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amother
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Fri, Jul 12 2024, 4:25 am
amother Wheat wrote: | Who says I think this is the only way? I am an educated parent and have tried and am continuing to try many many things. Do you know how many thousands and thousands of dollars I have spent on a functional dr and all the things he prescribed? Honestly, I do believe there is something underlying but we haven't found it yet after years and years of trying many different routes with multiple practitioners.
So in the meantime, NO, I am not going to let my kid continue to deteriorate and unravel completely. My goal is to get him off the meds, but if he needs it he needs it. So far nothing else has helped.
And stimulants are not bandaids, nor do they numb the brain. They actually do increase levels of neurotransmitters that are lacking in kids with adhd. |
You are an awesome mom and don't need to defend yourself to this rubbish. Your goal doesn't even need to be to get your kid off of meds. Some of us need it for life, and that's fine. It's this anti-medication/anti-diagnosis stigma that's so damaging.
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Sewsew_mom
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Fri, Jul 12 2024, 7:30 am
We can all agree that we disagree.
I didn't put any parents down for choosing one thing over the next. I said plainly that everyone can have knowledge and than choose. To say "I have no choice" which is what I understood other posters were saying is untrue. We have choices.
Also if I'm so ignorant why are you choosing to waste time and words and respond to me.
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jerusalem613
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Fri, Jul 12 2024, 8:04 am
OP here.
Thank you so much everyone for your replies. Very insightful and informative.
Based on your replies seems that Israel, where we live, is backwards in regards of treatment and diagnostics.
We took our son to a local children's psychiatrist who after interacting with ds and quizzing him and so forth felt he does not require any medication.
On the other hand, DS's rebbes over the years have repeatedly said that "he suffers" in class and is unable to stay still or concentrate.
DS is happy to go to school, never complains of any sufferings, might have a higher then average imagination, friendly, outgoing and self confident.
I would love to message the 2nd poster who said she works with ADHD children and ask some questions.
We obviously want to do the right thing and are open to the idea of medication, but just feel lost as to what path to follow...
Any advice as to where I can get a 2nd opinion ?
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