I smacked my daughter. Hard. :(

↑ #BestBubby ↓

Yesterday at 9:14 pm

amother Aquamarine wrote:

I guess common sense is not common at all.
It should be basic knowledge not to hurt other human beings. Not adults, not children, not elderly. Judaism respect human life so much that you are commanded to be mechalel shabbos in order to save a life.
Physically hurting someone is wrong no matter how good your intentions are.
This has nothing to do with experts and only to do with being a moral human being.

You know the Torah says Malkos for Adults who commit certain aveiros, right?

amother

Leaf ↓

Yesterday at 9:19 pm

amother Teal wrote:

OTOH, a child that was physically abused, will grow up to be a physically abusive adult.
Chinuch doesn't mean slapping our children. Of course we shouldn't allow our children to get away with everything, and we need to instill proper middos. But slapping our kids isn't the way to do it.

I'm so tired of reading this. My siblings and myself were all physically abused (much more than an occasional slap) and none of us have grown up to be physically abusive adults. Never have any of us physically hurt our children. In fact, having suffered from physical abuse has made me extra careful not to do similar to my kids.

amother

↑ Teal ↓

Yesterday at 9:24 pm

#BestBubby wrote:

You know the Torah says Malkos for Adults who commit certain aveiros, right?

And your point is? That we're allowed to give malkos to children? That you think you're God & therefore are allowed to hit?
(Besides the point that malkos is only allowed in the times of the beis hamikdash & with a bais din's ruling. No one can just decide to physically hurt other's.)

↑ wrkngmomof2 ↓

Yesterday at 9:29 pm

amother Leaf wrote:

Bh! That’s amazing, thats a huge very accomplishment.
This is not common. Unfortunately, I think most abuse victims tend to abuse.
I was also harshly treated and am opposite with my children but it’s not easy!

amother

↑ Leaf

Yesterday at 9:34 pm

wrkngmomof2 wrote:

Is it really so uncommon? Has there been an impartial, comprehensive research study that proves this?

amother

↑ Aquamarine ↓

Yesterday at 9:36 pm

#BestBubby wrote:

You know the Torah says Malkos for Adults who commit certain aveiros, right?

This is vastly different.
The sanhedrin was a judicial system. Malkus was similar to a prison sentence of today's world. It doesn't equate to a parent hitting a child.

amother

↑ Blue ↓

Yesterday at 9:43 pm

#BestBubby wrote:

You know the Torah says Malkos for Adults who commit certain aveiros, right?

Are you the judge, jury, and executioner all in one?

↑ #BestBubby ↓

Yesterday at 9:48 pm

amother Blue wrote:

Are you the judge, jury, and executioner all in one?

Torah gives parents and teachers authority to use corporal punishment for children.

And one cannot claim Torah is against corporal punishment if it is the proscribed punishment for certain aveiros.

amother

↑ Blue ↓

Yesterday at 9:50 pm

#BestBubby wrote:

Torah gives parents and teachers authority to use corporal punishment for children.

And one cannot claim Torah is against corporal punishment if it is the proscribed punishment for certain aveiros.

Torah says to listen to the current Chachomim over the past Chachomim.
Our current Chachomim say not to use corporal punishment.

amother

↑ Cobalt ↓

Yesterday at 9:52 pm

amother Teal wrote:

Little children hitting their parents in the midst of a tantrum, is age appropriate. Slapping them in return, is just an adult showing them that hitting is a normal and okay way of communication.
We want to teach our children that hitting & hurting others is not okay, and this can NOT be done by hitting & slapping children.

Um no... just because you think it is, doesn't make it so. My kids have never hit me bh. What a mixed up world.

A seven year old hitting is definitely not age appropriate.

amother

↑ Cobalt ↓

Yesterday at 9:53 pm

amother Blue wrote:

Torah says to listen to the current Chachomim over the past Chachomim.
Our current Chachomim say not to use corporal punishment.

Not really. This is a myth. There are SOME Chachamim who say this, I know plenty who don't.

amother

↑ Teal ↓

Yesterday at 9:54 pm

#BestBubby wrote:

I am just answering those who falsely claim that the Torah is anti corporal punishment.

The torah lists specific punishments for specific sins, (and does not apply to children.) This is NO indication that hitting or physically hurting children is EVER okay.
The torah is anti hitting children out of anger. The torah is anti hurting children.

↑ sequoia ↓

Yesterday at 9:56 pm

#BestBubby wrote:

You know the Torah says Malkos for Adults who commit certain aveiros, right?

Which is not done today and would be illegal if anyone tried it.

amother

↑ Cobalt ↓

Yesterday at 9:56 pm

wrkngmomof2 wrote:

There's a misconception that all abusers were once abused as children. Research doesn't bear that out. There is a certain percentage, true, but its certainly not everyone or even a very high percentage.

Which is completely off the topic, as a parent slapping a child who is hurting the parent is not abuse. And is not going to cause lifelong damage.

What's also more to the point is WHY this child is acting this way, and what could be done to change the pattern for the future.

amother

↑ Teal ↓

Yesterday at 9:58 pm

amother Cobalt wrote:

Um no... just because you think it is, doesn't make it so. My kids have never hit me bh. What a mixed up world.

A seven year old hitting is definitely not age appropriate.

Just because your kids never hit you, it doesn't mean that it's not age appropriate for young children to hit in midst of a tantrum. It doesn't mean that all children do it, just that it's age appropriate.
And you can't teach a child not to hit, by hitting them. It's contradictory & teaches them that hitting is a proper means of communication.

amother

↑ Aquamarine ↓

Yesterday at 9:59 pm

#BestBubby wrote:

Torah gives parents and teachers authority to use corporal punishment for children.

And one cannot claim Torah is against corporal punishment if it is the proscribed punishment for certain aveiros.

This article may answer some of your questions.

https://aish.com/48907662/

amother

↑ Cobalt ↓

Yesterday at 10:00 pm

sequoia wrote:

Which is not done today and would be illegal if anyone tried it.

Well obviously we don't do it because we don't have a Sanhedrin and we don't have our own court of law. It may be against the law of the land, buy when Moshiach will come the Sanhedrin will come back...

And it's not like the prison system in almost any country is so wonderful either. In many ways it's worse.

amother

↑ Cobalt ↓

Yesterday at 10:02 pm

amother Aquamarine wrote:

This article may answer some of your questions.

https://aish.com/48907662/

This should be a spinoff, but I feel so validated now. I rarely punish my kids, not hitting or in any other way, and I've been told I'm spoiling my kids. Glad to know I was doing it right!!!! Punishment, period, is not the way to go. Not hitting, not any other punishment either.

amother

↑ Teal ↓

Yesterday at 10:02 pm

#BestBubby wrote:

Torah gives parents and teachers authority to use corporal punishment for children.

And one cannot claim Torah is against corporal punishment if it is the proscribed punishment for certain aveiros.

Again, the torah FORBIDS hitting children out of anger/frustration/trigger/losing it.
And corporal punishment in the torah/in the times of the beis hamikdash, does NOT apply to children & never meant that parents may physically hit their children.
And it also wasn't something that one was able to decide on their own, it was a court ruling.
So you using malkos min hatorah as permitted to physically hurt children, has no basis whatsoever & is an absurd comparison.