I smacked my daughter. Hard. :(

amother

↑ Cobalt ↓

Yesterday at 8:06 pm

amother Aquamarine wrote:

Or they will grow up to be a beautiful human being who struggles daily because of how wounding the physical/mental/emotional/s-xual abuse was.
They will never perpetuate the pain on other but inside they are shattered who fight internal battles to be a functional and wholesome person.

To those who think hurting kids is OK, are you really ok doing this to the child God entrusted in your care?

This is beyond hyperbole. A mother snacking her kid ONE time is not causing someone to struggle daily when they grow up. Let's not get carried away....

amother

↑ Aubergine ↓

Yesterday at 8:08 pm

#BestBubby wrote:

You are all deliberately misrepresenting what I said.

I am not advocating for children to be hit for every minor misbehavior.

But when a child repeatedly does something so extreme like repeatedly pinching a parent
And then pulling up the parents skirt
😲

THEN a strong punishment is appropriate.

And 17 other mothers agreed with that - see pg. 1.

I’m relieved to hear that you don’t think parents should just hit over minor lapses.
But hitting shouldn’t be an option ever.
Even for pinching and for picking up a skirt.

No judgment op, you clearly didn’t want to do it and were remorseful.

It’s very understandable what happened op.
But for everyone else if you are hitting back then you are doing just what the kid is doing.
Acting out on a trigger.

Kids will learn when they see we stay centered and regulated and don’t escalate the situation and definitely not respond with aggression.

Hitting is never an appropriate response.
The same way we don’t hit people our own age we don’t hit children who are physically smaller and emotionally more fragile then adults.

amother

↑ Blue ↓

Yesterday at 8:08 pm

#BestBubby wrote:

I have been on imamother for 6 years.

And every time a parent posts about a child who hits a parent, they were raised by parents who think it is wrong to give a potch for ANYTHING no matter how bad.

We don't teach no hitting by hitting.

amother

↑ Teal ↓

Yesterday at 8:08 pm

#BestBubby wrote:

I have been on imamother for 6 years.

And every time a parent posts about a child who hits a parent, they were raised by parents who think it is wrong to give a potch for ANYTHING no matter how bad.

Little children hitting their parents in the midst of a tantrum, is age appropriate. Slapping them in return, is just an adult showing them that hitting is a normal and okay way of communication.
We want to teach our children that hitting & hurting others is not okay, and this can NOT be done by hitting & slapping children.

amother

↑ Cobalt ↓

Yesterday at 8:09 pm

amother Aubergine wrote:

I’m relieved to hear that you don’t think parents should just hit over minor lapses.
But hitting shouldn’t be an option ever.
Even for pinching and for picking up a skirt.

No judgment op, you clearly didn’t want to do it and were remorseful.

It’s very understandable what happened op.
But for everyone else if you are hitting back and you doing just what the kid is doing.
Acting out on a trigger.

Kids will learn when they see we stay centered and regulated and don’t escalate the situation and definitely not respond with aggression.

Hitting is never an appropriate response.
The same way we don’t hit people our own age we don’t hit children who are physically smaller and emotionally more fragile then adults.

This is an opinion, not a fact... there's a reason that hitting was the punishment of choice throughout the ages. Just because it's not popular at the moment doesn't make it wrong. And it doesn't make children who were hit as children as damaged goods.

amother

↑ Aubergine ↓

Yesterday at 8:10 pm

amother Cobalt wrote:

This is beyond hyperbole. A mother snacking her kid ONE time is not causing someone to struggle daily when they grow up. Let's not get carried away....

This isn’t true. The ramifications can be very damaging. The damage just for the siblings who witness the aggression can be life altering.

Op, though sounds like a wonderful mother who got triggered and with the appropriate repair, her daughter will heal fast.

amother

↑ Teal ↓

Yesterday at 8:12 pm

amother Cobalt wrote:

This is beyond hyperbole. A mother snacking her kid ONE time is not causing someone to struggle daily when they grow up. Let's not get carried away....

This is not for you to say. A strong slap across the face, just hits differently then a potch on the hand.
And once a parent starts slapping their children, it means that it's an option for them & it's generally not a 1 time thing unless the parents are really willing to work on themselves.
And let's not forget that the torah forbids hitting out of anger & frustration.

amother

↑ Aubergine ↓

Yesterday at 8:12 pm

amother Cobalt wrote:

It’s not an opinion. It’s a fact.

Hitting damages.

It hurts someone deep in their psyche.

Hitting and causing fears in a child can cause untold emotional distress and harm years after the parent even remembers hitting the child or a child’s sibling.

amother

↑ Blue ↓

Yesterday at 8:13 pm

amother Cobalt wrote:

A lot of things done throughout the ages we don't do anymore because the generations have changed and the results are not the same.

amother

Kiwi

Yesterday at 8:14 pm

Interesting that the main proponent of hitting here supppsedly works in special education. And that being said OP have you gotten dd evaluated? It sounds like she may have something.

amother

↑ Teal ↓

Yesterday at 8:14 pm

amother Cobalt wrote:

The reason was that they didn't know better & they were a traumatized people.
It's on us to break the unhealthy cycle & do good by our children.
Hitting children is the lazy way out of proper chinuch & doesn't accomplish any good.

wrkngmomof2 ↓

Yesterday at 8:16 pm

Noooooooo! I am utterly shocked at how many of you think it’s ok to hit!
We are wayyyy past this! Or so I thought 🙁.
I have children ranging in ages 23-13 I can probably count on one hand how many times I lost my cool and got physical with my older ones but I never ever potched my little one. Never ever. And I have a temper.
I was hit, nobody benefits from it. Yes, if a toddler does something dangerously wrong like running into a street or playing with fire you give a potch but otherwise, no. Just no.
The kid gets confused and torn and the parent feels horrible.
It’s the easy way out, I’m sorry op. It happens, I get it but it shouldn’t be this way.

amother

↑ Aubergine ↓

Yesterday at 8:17 pm

#BestBubby wrote:

I have been on imamother for 6 years.

And every time a parent posts about a child who hits a parent, they were raised by parents who think it is wrong to give a potch for ANYTHING no matter how bad.

This is obviously a child who was never adequately punished for ANYTHING, that is why she feels entitled to do whatever she wants including assaulting a parent and pulling up her skirt.

Huh? I’ve been on imamother for longer then 6 years and I have no idea what you are talking about.
You don’t need to hit to have good kids.
Why do you think aggression towards children will cause kindness and respect in children??

↑ wrkngmomof2 ↓

Yesterday at 8:20 pm

amother Cobalt wrote:

No no, it’s a fact and the proof is in the pudding! Look around you! Many adults today are suffering from their childhood, escaping reality as often as possible, the teens today are miserable, go to a pizza shop on motza in Lakewood, go to 7-11 in Monsey, do your research!
Don’t stick your head in the mud, you will regret it later.

↑ wrkngmomof2 ↓

Yesterday at 8:26 pm

#BestBubby wrote:

Do you think a parent and child are equals?
How woke

Parents have the right and duty to punish.

Is a judge who puts a criminal in jail a kidnapper?

Is fining a speeder stealing?

Some people, like parents and government, have the authority to punish.

And children understand that.

Oy veis Mir. I’m happy you are a bubby, it means your kids are all grown up….

This attitude definitely doesn’t work nowadays, the only thing you will accomplish with this outlook is alienating your children which is the worst thing you can do.

↑ #BestBubby ↓

Yesterday at 8:28 pm

amother Aubergine wrote:

It’s not an opinion. It’s a fact.

Hitting damages.

It hurts someone deep in their psyche.

It's a "fact" according to those "experts" who think cutting off a child's genitals is caring.

I don't follow those "experts".

↑ wrkngmomof2 ↓

Yesterday at 8:50 pm

I am so triggered by “Best Bubby” and those that like her comments.
You compare us parents who work on ourselves to not hurt our children to parents that allow gender changes? Shame on you.
Call Avi Fishoff and ask him how many suicidal teenagers there are that are on drugs, ask him how many parents cry that they used to think this way. How many parents actually lost their children because of this refusal to open your eyes and ears to todays world.
Learn now before it’s too late. Your denial is abhorrent.
It’s not left or woke, it’s hard work that you obviously want to avoid.

↑ sequoia ↓

Yesterday at 8:57 pm

OP: It’s important to apologize to your daughter and admit you were in the wrong, because otherwise she will get the message that love=violence and that someone who loves her is allowed to hit her. Which is worse than straight up abuse. You can mend this relationship and assuage her trauma, but you have to be intentional about it.

amother

↑ Aquamarine ↓

Yesterday at 9:07 pm

#BestBubby wrote:

It's a "fact" according to those "experts" who think cutting off a child's genitals is caring.

I don't follow those "experts".

I guess common sense is not common at all.
It should be basic knowledge not to hurt other human beings. Not adults, not children, not elderly. Judaism respect human life so much that you are commanded to be mechalel shabbos in order to save a life.
Physically hurting someone is wrong no matter how good your intentions are.
This has nothing to do with experts and only to do with being a moral human being.