Did not have what to eat for supper today

amother

Whitewash

Fri, Jun 21 2024, 3:44 pm

amother DarkRed wrote:

I remember getting financial advice from a rich guy: don’t let bills pile up just pay them when they come in
The idea of an emergency car repair or similar that drains everything did not occur to him
You may be a nice person but this is idiotic

OP said clearly in this thread that they own a nice house, drive a nice car, and the kids have nice clothes. Yet there is no good for supper. Obviously those nice things were bought at a time when there was money. So yes better financial planning should have been made when buying a house, car, clothes etc. Maybe more should have gone into savings and not spent. Or, if OP truly did have a drastic financial change since those things were bought, cars can be sold etc.

No food for supper is an extreme situation and sometimes people get there due to a lack of financial planning on not necessarily just “not enough money”. Even the fact that OP says she is paying tuition and other bills- nothing should come before literal food in her kids stomach.

Also, let’s say OP did everything right with how she spent yet she’s still stuck here. Which is possible. OP said that her earnings (which didn’t come in) go to cover griceries and her husbands paycheck “isn’t enough to even cover other expenses.” This in itself is lack of financial planning. When one sees that their expenses exceed their income they need to start planning on how to fix it, whether by earning more, or even taking tzedaka. OP has not mentioned anything like that. When someone is in a situation where if their freelance work isn’t paid for by Monday they will have no food on Tuesday, the time to act is NOW not on Tuesday when your kids are hungry. Instead OP just seems to be waiting for her freelance invoices to finally be paid. That’s passive not active.

She says they make too much to qualify for WIC and food stamps. That means that, barring exceptionally rare circumstances, if she does not have enough money for basic groceries she is not handling her finances properly.

Advice to the OP to do some financial planning is very well warranted.

amother

Aster

Fri, Jun 21 2024, 4:49 pm

amother SandyBrown wrote:

I was in this situation a few years ago.
I had no money whatsoever.
My utilities were shut off and we received a foreclosure notice from the bank.
It was truly horrible.
Those days, I used to fax in my grocery order to the local grocery store. Every few weeks they would send me a bill. At one point they told me they will not be sending me any more orders until I paid up.
So, no more food.
Definitely no new clothing.
I remember not going to pick up my shaitel because I had no money for the wash and set.
I had no money for laundry detergent. I was desperate for clean clothing so I used dish soap in my machine!
BH my kids were very young and didn’t understand what was going on.
We had old bread in the freezer and we used that for meals. Our cupboards/fridge/freezer were never completely bare. Maybe not exactly what I wanted to eat but we scrounged around.
I have no idea why I didn’t call tomchei shabbos. I guess I thought there were people worse off than us who needed it more. I should have called!!!
I’m remembering that we had wic so we had some basics like milk and cereal, rice… peanut butter…
Eventually I applied for food stamps. When we were approved I felt like I won the lottery and ran to the grocery.
Now our situation is much different but I will never forget those days.

Honest question about situations like this- we are in the same boat, except I put groceries on the credit card. I hate it and I cringe every time but it’s better than going hungry.

I’m not saying it’s good advice, but why don’t people in situations like this put it on a cc (unless you’re completely maxed out). I would never in my life advise credit card but if it’s credit card or food for your kids I’d choose food.

amother

SandyBrown

Fri, Jun 21 2024, 5:14 pm

amother Aster wrote:

Our credit cards were beyond maxed out at the time. Our bank accounts were negative and we couldn’t even make the minimum payment amount.
As I said before, BH our situation is not like this now. Chasdei Hashem…. We were almost at the lowest and we are so thankful that things have changed.

amother

Aster

Fri, Jun 21 2024, 5:18 pm

amother SandyBrown wrote:

Ya I hear that. I’m sorry you were there, and I’m so happy it’s better. We are almost there. We work so hard, get what help we can but food is still astronomical and often it’s on credit cards. I’m just grateful to Hashem that we have food, that we are well enough to buy and eat, that there are beautiful people to feed

Cheiny

Fri, Jun 21 2024, 7:23 pm

amother Indigo wrote:

OP has not accepted any help, reluctantly or otherwise

If you noticed, in the beginning she was adamant she wouldn’t accept… later on she said she’d consider it. (See below)

Again, I’m not accusing her of anything because no one knows either way, but no one should be asking for money or getting it from anyone here unless they’ve been verified by Yael.

No matter how genuine someone sounds, and he sad and dire the situation, don’t be sure it’s genuine. It’s very easy to tear at people’s heartstrings. There are people out there who aren’t straight. Remember this is the internet, and just as men have come on here, as well as others who weren’t whom they claimed to be, you have no idea who you’re talking to here and whether their stories are true or not, unless and until they’re verified by Yael.

If you’re good with possibly giving a con artist money or whatever, go right ahead but just know you may be getting fooled.

amother
OP

Report post Reply with quote

Post Wed, Jun 19 2024, 10:15 pm
thank you all for your validation
I am logging out for tonight....
praying for some things to change by tmro
and if they don't I might reach out to some caring ladies over here....
Back to top

amother

Sunflower

Fri, Jun 21 2024, 7:43 pm

Cheiny wrote:

Personally I’m ok to give 20 dollars to someone who might be in a desperate situation, even though I know they could be a con artist. Tbh I don’t trust half the people who come to my door collecting either, but I still give what I can.

Cloud9

Fri, Jun 21 2024, 7:51 pm

amother OP wrote:

Did not have what to eat for supper today ... will also never take food from public pantries as my husband is a respected community member and we are embarrassed that this is our current situation

life is just too expensive
I don't have any cc I can swipe
this week after shavous our finances was completely depleted

usually the money I earn goes to groceries (but no one paid me yet, I do freelance graphics)
My husbands paycheck isnt enought to even cover other expenses ...

so we bh had food in the house for shavous and shabbos but as the week progressed everything is getting eaten up
and I was creative with suppers the last two days
but tonight there was just nothing like nothing fridge and cabinets are bare .... bh my kids which are 2-7 I made the last package of pasta with ketchup and had a few ground chicken patties in freezer so they had food ... and after school snack was a big treat some cheesecake leftover from shavous (Ideally I serve them fruit and veggies and light mezonos)
so bh they didnt complain or notice the lack of no food
although they made a comment about no drinks or snacks... now when it came to me and my husband we just dont have what to eat ( no cereal bec dont have milk, can't touch the last 5 eggs bec kids need breakfast tmro .....) Im sure Hashem has a plan and we will figure out how to shop for shabbos and to stock up the house but right now im just soooo hungry that I feel like venting

[removed - no one should give cash unless yael has verified and noted on a thread - mod]