Did not have what to eat for supper today

amother

Steel

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 6:28 pm

Busybee5 wrote:

If you're in Manchester, UK I'd like to leave food somewhere for you.

You're so kind. I live in your area and once posted on here when I was in OP's situation. (I still am. I had to borrow money to buy bread today, I have no clue how I'm going to pay it back, nor how I'm going to manage to make Shabbos with the quantity of food I have in my house.**..I'm maxed out of my grocery account).

You offered then (almost sure it was you) to put some money on account in a local shop, I was so moved. I was too embarrassed to accept....but you sounded/sound so genuine, sound like you feel a person who accepts help from you is doing YOU a favour.

*I asked a friend who's visiting from a different town if she can pick up some things locally for me, she presumed that those items were out of stock here....in reality it gives me a few days to scramble to pay her back somehow. She would be devastated if she knew my true situation, she would love to gift it...

But Busybee, you inspire me.

amother

Aubergine

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 7:02 pm

amother Steel wrote:

Can I give you £50 (I have that amount of maaser money sitting in my house, I'm happy to give it tp you to make shabbos)? I can leave it in my porch and you can pick it up, I have no idea who you are. Or can I put some money on your account in a shop? Or you can spend £50 on my account in Habers? create an anonymous email and I'll send you details.

Ma3

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 7:18 pm

Hi,
I didn't go through the entire thread, so perhaps someone mentioned already.
Ezer Lmuzon is very helpful in such situations. They put money on your account in the grocery and you can shop without feeling ashamed. There isn't a lengthy application or anything. All you need to do is call, explain your situation and it's a done deal.

Please reach out!
718-852-3500

info@eizerlamuzen.org

Busybee5

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 7:30 pm

amother Steel wrote:

Hey, it wasn't me but I'm so sorry for your situation. Do you know who I am? How can I contact you, I can give you some cash as well as the pp offered for you. I can pay your friend back. Let me know if you have any ideas how I can do it all anonymously.

amother

Lawngreen

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 7:36 pm

amother Fuchsia wrote:

Some people prefer to STARVE their own kids just for koved! I could never understand that.

I am not in that situation but have been close to it.

The shame is not a one-time thing. It stays with you. Hunger is temporary.

I don't think it's right but I do understand it. When you are poor, sometimes your self-dignity is all you have. It's not easy to give that up.

weasley

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 7:41 pm

amother Fuchsia wrote:

Some people prefer to STARVE their own kids just for koved! I could never understand that.

Just say Thank you Hashem that your in the position that you could never understand that.

I genuinely daven for you to never ever know the feeling of having to lose the shreds of dignity that your holding on to, to get the very basics that people around you don't think twice about.

amother

Whitesmoke

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 7:41 pm

Ma3 wrote:

Is this only for NY area?

rmbg

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 7:45 pm

amother Lawngreen wrote:

This is human nature. There is a an old yiddish expression- we will die quicker from shame than from hunger.

thesoundofmusic

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 7:45 pm

the day I opened my freezer to make lunch and all I had was a bag of frozen peas
our money was so tight....
that was the day we decided to move out of town. bH
13 years later I am so happy, out of town a bigger house than we could ever have imagined a big yard and no pressure to buy fancy stuff.
and BH we have food even though its not always tons....

amother

Tiffanyblue

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 8:15 pm

amother Lawngreen wrote:

I've been there. I've had to ignore my pride and ask for help. You don't put your pride before your children. As I said earlier, your children will soon realize what you are doing and you will have to deal with that shame for a lot longer.

amother

Sunflower

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 10:00 pm

Some people seem to have missed the fact that OP is NOT starving her kids. She said her kids had pasta for supper and would have eggs in the morning. For kids ages 2-7 those are perfectly reasonable meals (at least in my house.) At that age, they wouldn’t have a feeling of food insecurity as long as they themselves have regular meals. Yes they’d eventually catch on but that hasn’t happened yet.

What OP’s doing is putting herself last. She and her husband are the only ones who didn’t eat. She clearly said that she’d reach out for help if she didn’t find a solution before her kids came home.

OP, all I can ask is that you take care of yourself the way you take care of others. You’re important too! The organizations WANT to help you, it’s why they exist. On behalf of all of us, please accept their help so you don’t need to go to sleep hungry again!

Cheiny

Fri, Jun 21 2024, 12:59 am

amother Fuchsia wrote:

Also I am not totally sure that op story is a true situation. It might be a true situation or it might be a scammer. I have no idea.

Exactly what I was thinking. I am not accusing OP of anything, because none of us has any way of knowing whether she is legit or not. But everyone should be aware that there are scammers out there so don’t automatically be so trusting just because someone can come up with a good story about how needy they are. People have gotten badly fooled and taken advantage of by scammers who had real- sounding stories, but they were just that; stories… No one should be offering cash to anyone without the recipient being checked out and approved by Yael.

amother

Hyssop

Fri, Jun 21 2024, 2:34 am

amother Fuchsia wrote:

Also I am not totally sure that op story is a true situation. It might be a true situation or it might be a scammer. I have no idea.

Right but in this situation I’d be inclined to disagree given that OP is refusing all offers of assistance and is trying to make it work on her own.

amother

Lawngreen

Fri, Jun 21 2024, 2:53 am

gande wrote:

op this should be a wake up call to learn financial planning.

Financial planning is not helpful when you are expecting a paycheck that does not materialize. This is not someone spending beyond their means, but someone whose means have been cut off through no fault of their own.

amother

Lily

Fri, Jun 21 2024, 3:07 am

amother Lawngreen wrote:

She said she gives tons of tzedaka. You need to focus first on saving and investing before you can help others. I’m learning this now as well that living paycheck to paycheck is not ok if it can be prevented in any way.