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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> School age children
mummiedearest
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 Mon, Feb 09 2009, 9:02 pm
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ok, didn't have the patience to read the whole thread. here's my suggestion. if you want to teach your daughter the value of tzedaka, good. she can give maaser from any money she actually receives. do not tell the parents to send money, I think it's improper. but I think it's fine to state that presents are unnecessary, and all toys received will be sent to a tzedaka organization or a local fire station. that way if parents feel the need to give something they know it will be given to a good cause. your daughter will learn that tzedaka works with things other than money. if you want to teach maaser, why not give her a small allowance every week? you can help her calculate the maaser at the end of each month.
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Gsanmb
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Wed, Feb 11 2009, 7:56 am
What about if you just take a certain amount of the presents she receives and have her come with you, bring them to a hospital pediatric ward, childrens' organization, homeless shelter-- whatever -- and give them out?
This is a very concrete way to demonstrate tzedaka for a child, because it makes more sense to them than money. Toys, they understand. Money is still rather an abstract concept for a 7 year old IMO.
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amother
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Wed, Feb 11 2009, 9:41 am
OP,
There is a less tacky (hopefully) way of asking something in lieu of gifts. This is what I used for DS's birthday invitation: "I hope you can come to my n-th birthday party on XXXX at XXXX. Please come as you are. But if you would like to bring a present, here is a small favour: our teachers kindly agreed to prepare a list of things--toys and books--that we can use at school. If you choose something from their list they will keep it in the classroom so that we can all use. My parents and I would be grateful for such a gift".
What I did is similar to bridal gift lists. I think it went very well with both parents and the teachers (they were grateful they got to supplement things for crafts etc). I also wanted to make it sound that gifts are not necessary. In any case, I think it's a big no no to ask for money even indirectly.
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