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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> Toddlers
amother
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 Yesterday at 5:32 pm
My daughter that just turned 3 is super anxious and it is getting worse and worse. She's constantly worried that someone will come into the house and started having nightmares as well.
How do I go about this?
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amother
Lilac
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Yesterday at 6:27 pm
| amother OP wrote: | My daughter that just turned 3 is super anxious and it is getting worse and worse. She's constantly worried that someone will come into the house and started having nightmares as well.
How do I go about this? |
Bumping
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amother
Purple
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Yesterday at 6:49 pm
although usually we like to validate kids feelings, (when they are happy, sad, surprised, etc) when they are scared or anxious don't validate it. they are not looking at you to validate their feelings, they want to see you as the big strong one who can help/save them, not someone who is feeling scared with them.
don't focus on "you are scared b/c of this," focus on "Mommy is always watching you. Mommy is always here for you etc."
My kids were playing hide and seek at a family friends house and the kids all hid in a dark closet. I heard my 2.5 yr old crying and I got her out. whenever she started talking about the closet I would focus on "and mommy came and got you out". she did not develop a fear of closets.
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amother
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Yesterday at 6:51 pm
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Firstly does she watch anything? Sometimes these things expose them to scary concepts that are too big for them to process properly. And it leads to bad guy fears.
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amother
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Yesterday at 6:55 pm
Strep
Gut health
Reflex integration
Is she a mouth breather?
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amother
Mint
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Yesterday at 7:01 pm
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OP I mean this in an objective way, not at all trying to place blame. Are you very anxious? Is her father very anxious? Sometimes this can be learned behavior.
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amother
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Yesterday at 7:32 pm
| amother Purple wrote: | although usually we like to validate kids feelings, (when they are happy, sad, surprised, etc) when they are scared or anxious don't validate it. they are not looking at you to validate their feelings, they want to see you as the big strong one who can help/save them, not someone who is feeling scared with them.
don't focus on "you are scared b/c of this," focus on "Mommy is always watching you. Mommy is always here for you etc."
My kids were playing hide and seek at a family friends house and the kids all hid in a dark closet. I heard my 2.5 yr old crying and I got her out. whenever she started talking about the closet I would focus on "and mommy came and got you out". she did not develop a fear of closets. |
Thank you makes sense
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amother
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Yesterday at 7:33 pm
| amother Pear wrote: | Strep
Gut health
Reflex integration
Is she a mouth breather? |
Its an ongoing thing, so I don't think it is strept.
I got her tested for pandas... and did a trial of medication, didnt make any difference.
Re reflex integration I am taking her someone for a while to work on this and its not helping with the anxiety aspect
But yes she is a mouth breather
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amother
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Yesterday at 7:34 pm
| amother Mint wrote: | | OP I mean this in an objective way, not at all trying to place blame. Are you very anxious? Is her father very anxious? Sometimes this can be learned behavior. |
No really not. That's why it is so interesting to me
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amother
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Yesterday at 7:35 pm
| amother Anemone wrote: | | Firstly does she watch anything? Sometimes these things expose them to scary concepts that are too big for them to process properly. And it leads to bad guy fears. |
No, the most she ever watched was Ms rachel or the like
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amother
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Yesterday at 7:46 pm
| amother OP wrote: | Its an ongoing thing, so I don't think it is strept.
I got her tested for pandas... and did a trial of medication, didnt make any difference.
Re reflex integration I am taking her someone for a while to work on this and its not helping with the anxiety aspect
But yes she is a mouth breather |
Mouth breathing is another angle to look at, not getting enough oxygen puts the nervous system into fight-flight. Do you know why she mouth breathes?
What about gut health? What is her diet like? Is she getting enough nutrient dense foods? Low in inflammatory foods? Maybe consider adding a probiotic, some magnesium, a methylated b complex and some fish oil.
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amother
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Yesterday at 7:51 pm
| amother Pear wrote: | Mouth breathing is another angle to look at, not getting enough oxygen puts the nervous system into fight-flight. Do you know why she mouth breathes?
What about gut health? What is her diet like? Is she getting enough nutrient dense foods? Low in inflammatory foods? Maybe consider adding a probiotic, some magnesium, a methylated b complex and some fish oil. |
I went to an ent to rule out any issues and everything came out fine.
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amother
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Yesterday at 7:57 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | I went to an ent to rule out any issues and everything came out fine. |
An airway orthodontist or myofunctional therapist can help you figure out the cause and how to fix it.
It can make a huge difference to her mental health.
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amother
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Yesterday at 8:00 pm
| amother Pear wrote: | An airway orthodontist or myofunctional therapist can help you figure out the cause and how to fix it.
It can make a huge difference to her mental health. |
I was considering to take her to a myofunctional therapist because she def has weak oral muscle tone. But whoever I looked into was over my budget. Any reccomendations?
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amother
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Yesterday at 8:05 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | I was considering to take her to a myofunctional therapist because she def has weak oral muscle tone. But whoever I looked into was over my budget. Any reccomendations? |
Where are you located?
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amother
Clematis
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Yesterday at 8:36 pm
| amother Pear wrote: | An airway orthodontist or myofunctional therapist can help you figure out the cause and how to fix it.
It can make a huge difference to her mental health. |
Can you recommend an airway orthodontist in ny/nj area? Tia
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Just Me :)
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Today at 12:26 pm
OT really helped my anxious daughter. She was very dysregulated and that exacerbated the low-level anxiety she had to be really intense anxiety. Once we got her into OT and learned how to keep her regulated at home, her anxiety significantly decreased.
Yoga also REALLY helps with this. There is a youtube channel called Cosmic Kids Yoga which she LOVES and I see a decrease in anxiety after she does Yoga. A lot of the Cosmic Kids Yoga videos are about disney movies but if you search around you will find ones that are not about disney movies, and are about characters she made up.
Edited to add that she barely displays signs of anxiety after we did OT and started yoga, she's 5.
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amother
Ebony
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Today at 12:32 pm
| amother Purple wrote: | although usually we like to validate kids feelings, (when they are happy, sad, surprised, etc) when they are scared or anxious don't validate it. they are not looking at you to validate their feelings, they want to see you as the big strong one who can help/save them, not someone who is feeling scared with them.
don't focus on "you are scared b/c of this," focus on "Mommy is always watching you. Mommy is always here for you etc."
My kids were playing hide and seek at a family friends house and the kids all hid in a dark closet. I heard my 2.5 yr old crying and I got her out. whenever she started talking about the closet I would focus on "and mommy came and got you out". she did not develop a fear of closets. |
??
That is so weird. You should validate all feelings since they are all part of us. Anger and fear and sadness aswell. If you ignore them they won't go away ..it's simple minded to think that way. My father always said if a child falls one shouldn't ask if it hurt, one should ignore it so the child doesn't cry. So stupid.
Acknowlege the fear. You are scared that someone might come in? That would be scary. It's not possible because we locked the door, and mommy and daddy are here to protect you aswell. Do you want a night light on?
This way you have the acknowledgment, the facts and also the childs input. They are capable of deciding what will get them out of that place of fear.
My daughter used to be very anxious. She isn't anymore. Now she says: if someone would come on, daddy would beat them up with xyz. Also I have my light on so they wouldn't come in.
Ignoring fear or anger is never the way to go.
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amother
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Today at 12:53 pm
| amother Clematis wrote: | | Can you recommend an airway orthodontist in ny/nj area? Tia |
Dr. Leonard Kundel
Dr. Barry Raphael
Be prepared to pay $$$$
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