Does having a lot of money actually make you happy?

#BestBubby ↓

Yesterday at 2:05 pm

https://www.forbes.com/sites/j.....-all/

There is a study, link above, that money does buy happiness but only up until $75k.

This study was done in 2010 so maybe that equals $100k today.

And this was for non Jews.

Basically if you don't have money for a basic middle class life ( own a house and car, can afford a vacation), that makes most people sad.

But being wealthy doesn't make people happier, just until one has enough for middle class

Cheiny

Yesterday at 2:07 pm

amother OP wrote:

I know the questions sounds silly money or something can’t make you happy. But it can definitely make your life more comfortable and easy.

It’s known that having money brings different kinds of headaches and problems. The Torah even says so.

Of course people who are struggling financially will be thinking, “That’s fine, I’ll take the problems associated with having money.” But it’s just different types of nisyonos. Everyone has them in one form or another in this world.

Sure it gets you comforts and not having to worry about where your next dollar will come from but wealthy people do deal with different types of issues…

Last edited by Cheiny on Thu, Jan 09 2025, 2:13 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Cherry

Yesterday at 2:19 pm

I’m writing has someone who got married and was comfortable then went through a number of years while we really struggled with every single bill. We really had to decide what to buy at the grocery store and cannot pay for any extras for the kids. Now we are, extremely comfortable. I can honestly say that I was happy during all of those financial times. What I will say is that everyone has struggles I had struggles when I had money and struggles when I didn’t. And you have a good marriage and good relationships with your parents and kids and you’re a good person and I don’t think money changes your happiness. But it does give me the ability to give my kids the extra help that they need and it is helpful when there’s so many stresses in life that isn’t something that I have to stress about. Yes we have investments, but we’re not the type distress, if something doesn’t work out so well. Because we also struggled I try to really help my friends even quietly they don’t know like even helping for paying for weddings. Honestly, I don’t think people really know that we have money because we live pretty simply. Of course we have bought ourselves more things over time, but we don’t flaunt it and I really don’t want anyone to know where we’re holding financially. I’m the same person I was throughout all our financial Challenges. I hope I never take it for granted. Because I know it’s late to go to the grocery store. I have to decide what to put in the car or not. And once in a while, somebody asked me to pay for their order. They have no idea who I am or if I have money or not, but I’m so happy to do it. Because I know what it’s like to struggle.

ora_43

Yesterday at 2:25 pm

If all else is equal, life is easier with money than without it. But things aren't always equal, and rich people can have problems money can't fix, while poor people can be chill and happy despite money problems.

The one exception to the 'life is easier' rule (in my possibly controversial opinion) is young people. I think young people starting out in life need a certain amount of financial struggle. Just enough to give them the feeling of accomplishment when they earn their own money. It's good to get help, but it's not good to have too much handed to you.

amother

↑ Brass ↓

Yesterday at 2:26 pm

amother Rainbow wrote:

It's fine, poor ppl have the same dark issues minus the beautiful facade.

I hate when ppl say this, it's baloney

Tell me which bigger problem a rich man has than his very poor neighbor. That he's depressed? That his wife is wicked? At least he had a great name and ppl consider him wise cuz of his riches. A poor man with a wicked wife or low moods is double dead.

I know of a rich guy that had a lousy uncool son. His money bought the boy a great wardrobe, got him in to best yeshiva, got a great shidduch, he hired bucharim to come dance at the wedding to cover up for lack of friends. Tell me how the same boy would end up in a poor home.

Rich kids start life a mile into the race

Your last point about the uncool son should make everyone on this thread stop and think for a minute. In our communities the shidduch crisis is a very big deal. Everyone knows families struggling to find a shidduch or shidduchim for their kids. Look around at the people you know. Most of the people experiencing big problems with shidduchim aren’t the ones with the biggest houses and the flashiest cars. The people with three homes, four furs and full time help are for the most part not the ones whose kids can’t get a date. Money can’t buy happiness but it will get you the attention of shadchanim. Money can’t buy happiness but it will cover up a lot of the flaws that make someone not the top guy or top girl. Most of the girls you hear about that haven’t had a date in two years don’t have parents with nine figure incomes.

amother

Celeste ↓

Yesterday at 2:46 pm

#BestBubby wrote:

https://www.forbes.com/sites/johnjennings/2024/02/12/money-buys-happiness-after-all/

There is a study, link above, that money does buy happiness but only up until $75k.

This study was done in 2010 so maybe that equals $100k today.

And this was for non Jews.

Basically if you don't have money for a basic middle class life ( own a house and car, can afford a vacation), that makes most people sad.

But being wealthy doesn't make people happier, just until one has enough for middle class

You would have to adjust the numbers for frum lifestyle, but I believe that the happiest people are the comfortable middle class. I work with the uber wealthy (think people who use private jets) and being so out of touch creates a lot of problems for them

I am poor, and I believe that I am happier then most of my clients.

I also think money would solve most of my problems, but I would never want that kind of wealth, a comfortable frum middle class life, without financial stress is still a lot of money...

↑ giftedmom ↓

Yesterday at 2:49 pm

Cheiny wrote:

Name one headache or problem that’s unique to being rich. One that is unavoidable. Not self-inflicted like being fancy enough or something.

familyfirst

Yesterday at 2:52 pm

Money is a brocha. We bless people with parnossah biharchova. Let’s recognize it for the blessing it is.

Problem is when it’s abused or made to be the barometer by which we measure our happiness.

May we all be blessed with parnossa bibarchovaa d be able to make the world and our lives better for it!

doodlesmom ↓

Yesterday at 2:55 pm

Money helps a lot for stress! It really does.
But looking around me and statistically the people with more money in my life are not happier at all. There are happy people on each side of the fence, and negative people rich and poor.

Happiness definitely comes from within and is a personality trait.

I’ve heard a good saying in Yiddish, and wonder if it translates well:

Nebach for the wealthy person, he can’t even make himself believe that if he’ll have money he’ll be happy!

amother

Fuchsia

Yesterday at 2:55 pm

money helps with certain aspects of life, being able to get extra help when needed, ordering take out on a stressful day, going away on a small vacation from time to time but it doesn't take away from life's general stresses.

I grew up with money and then we didn't have at one point and struggled really hard to pay bills and now we are bh okay but I do lot's of hishtadlus to make sure we are ok financially.

Money doesn't solve everything it does make certain things attainable.

I know lot's of wealthy people they have their own challenges nobody is immune to galus.

amother

↑ Leaf

Yesterday at 2:57 pm

Problems ≠ unhappy. Happy ≠ no problems.
Money solves problems. It doesn't make people happy.
The most unhappy period of my life was probably the most comfortable. I was single and so lonely. I had everything I needed, but I was so lonely. My life was meaningless.
Money couldn't solve that.
Now, with a family, I definitely have more "problems". Health issues, relationships , jobs, children's logistics, many things that need constant fixing. But I'm so happy.

amother

↑ Tangerine ↓

Yesterday at 2:58 pm

chanatron1000 wrote:

All else being equal, having money makes people happier. There are some wealthy people who are not happy because they have problems money can't solve, but there are poor people who also have those same problems, and in addition, they have the problems the wealthy people don't.

Ok, so you're assuming that problems = unhappiness? Are all poor people unhappy? Is a poor person who has the same problems as a rich person more unhappy because they're poor in addition to the other problem?

I disagree. A poor person might have more stress but they're not necessarily less happy. And happiness isn't dependent on the number of problems you have.

amother

Cadetblue

Yesterday at 3:01 pm

I have an extremely wealthy friend. She lives in a mansion with a live in. She has an unlimited budget for food, take out, and clothing. She goes on vacation often and has nice cars. She has a masseuse that comes to her house weekly. She started classes and organizations in her community, because she had the money to be a start up person and do good. She’s highly respected and many are jealous. This is what people don’t know: she has severe mental illness that started only after she had kids and goes in and out in terms of intensity. She was hospitalized for thinking there were monsters in her house trying to kill her. She cannot hold onto consistent relationships ships because she goes nuts too often. She used to have a job but she can’t stay consistent so now her only goals for her day are make dinner and do basic care for the kids. She is miserable. She’s on medication and she is running from therapist to alternative healer. I know her from before all this started she she’ll always have a place in my heart. Is her life easier or harder than yours? I’d take poor any day.

Money buys you power, respect, and freedom. But not happiness. And troubles come to all income
Brackets.

amother

Tan ↓

Yesterday at 3:04 pm

As someone who was poor all my life until recently when Hashem blessed us with wealth, I will use this quote: whoever says that money can’t buy happiness doesn’t know where to shop!

This is very true. Money makes life a lot easier and an easy life makes you happy. It’s pretty simple. Challenges? Oh yes, I’ve got plenty but guess what? These challenges were there when we were poor too. Death of a child, dealing with mental illness, poor shalom bayis etc….you can’t run away from these challenges and they’re there poor or rich. And being wealthy definitely helps you with the journey of a challenge.

amother

↑ Celeste ↓

Yesterday at 3:05 pm

giftedmom wrote:

Name one headache or problem that’s unique to being rich. One that is unavoidable. Not self-inflicted like being fancy enough or something.

People treat you differently, and even if they don't you are anxious that they do. So they are asking for money, or you don't know if they like you or the money, or they are using you for you connections.

One client who has gone from rich to poor to mega mega rich says that when he saw how most of his friends disapeared when he lost his money, he was more depressed then the bankruptcey or not knowing how he would pay for the heat. He says now he doesnt trust anyone, including family, which is very hard way to live. He makes his kids get very intense prenups because there are to many gold diggers ( he isnt frum) who want to marry them, take everything and divorce ( happens to his friends)

amother

Mintgreen

Yesterday at 3:05 pm

amother Rainbow wrote:

I think this quote is the biggest conspiracy of all times.

Society pushes this message but it's so far from the truth. Dysfunction multiplies with poverty. Struggles are way harder when you don't have money.

Marriage is harder in poverty, raising a reg family is gut wrenching when every dollar is counted.

Money softens the blow if every one if life's challenges. Money improves quality of life by far. Things like therapy, tutoring etc are only an option with money

I've been through times of extreme deprivation and times of bh plentiful. You can't compare know much more lack of money amplifies every little challenge.

Yes. The Chasam Sofer said that 80% of problems can be solved with money. He said he saw it from the people who came to him with their troubles asking for a yeshua. He therefore married his children to wealthy people.

amother

↑ Cerulean

Yesterday at 3:05 pm

amother Cadetblue wrote:

I know someone also with severe mental health struggles. In and out of the hospital. Struggles to maintain relationships. The whole thing.
AND dirt poor.

So there is no money for psychiatrists, meds are rationed, hospital days are limited to 20 per calendar year. Her spouse and children and parents are exhausted from dealing with her, no break plus working.
Every penny that comes in is spent on her therapies and meds and hospitalizations.

You see not having money can make a bad situation worse.

amother

↑ Tangerine ↓

Yesterday at 3:07 pm

giftedmom wrote:

Name one headache or problem that’s unique to being rich. One that is unavoidable. Not self-inflicted like being fancy enough or something.

Money itself is a nisayon. If we have money, weare responsible for making sure we use it properly. I don't know that I would be able to do that properly.

amother

↑ Tan ↓

Yesterday at 3:09 pm

amother Cadetblue wrote:

But all her problems would’ve been there even if she would’ve been poor. Sorry to break this to you but it has nothing to do with her wealth.