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amother
Peach
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 Yesterday at 12:13 pm
| giftedmom wrote: | | Name one headache or problem that’s unique to being rich. One that is unavoidable. Not self-inflicted like being fancy enough or something. |
Rich people worry about losing their money. Poor people don't have that worry, they don't have it to lose.
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doodlesmom
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Yesterday at 12:14 pm
Let get this straight people with problems can be happy or sad, and people without problems can be happy or sad.
Happiness is from within. Peace comes from within.
You people are referring to less stress, less problems etc, but that is not happiness look around you!
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amother
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Yesterday at 12:14 pm
| amother Tan wrote: | As someone who was poor all my life until recently when Hashem blessed us with wealth, I will use this quote: whoever says that money can’t buy happiness doesn’t know where to shop!
This is very true. Money makes life a lot easier and an easy life makes you happy. It’s pretty simple. Challenges? Oh yes, I’ve got plenty but guess what? These challenges were there when we were poor too. Death of a child, dealing with mental illness, poor shalom bayis etc….you can’t run away from these challenges and they’re there poor or rich. And being wealthy definitely helps you with the journey of a challenge. |
So an easy life makes you happy? You can't be happy if life isn't easy?
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amother
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Yesterday at 12:15 pm
| amother Peach wrote: | | Rich people worry about losing their money. Poor people don't have that worry, they don't have it to lose. |
So which worry would you rather choose if you would’ve been given a choice?
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amother
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Yesterday at 12:24 pm
| mha3484 wrote: | Off the top of my head:
Loss of a child
Loss of a spouse
Substance issues
Severely disabled children
Major health issues
Maybe my experiences are just unusual but I know more people with those issues with money then without. |
That's been my experience too. And I don't mean it as a statistical fact that applies equally to everyone. But there's definitely a trend I have seen. That doesn't ever have any logical explanation. There are many exceptions both ways but I won't deny the trend.
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amother
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Yesterday at 12:25 pm
| amother Tangerine wrote: | | So an est life makes you happy? You can't be happy if life isn't easy? |
I can be very happy if life isn’t that easy and I was a very happy person all my life bh. I’ve married off a few kids while we were poor and I will be marrying off in a few weeks my first since we are wealthy. Oh what a difference!. Everything is so much more peaceful with less stress and that makes me happy! Yes it does! It’s not that I wasn’t happy when I married off when I was poor, it’s just that it came with lots of worry and stress. And when the worry and stress are not there we are calmer and happier.
Is that really hard to understand?
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giftedmom
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Yesterday at 12:29 pm
| amother Celeste wrote: | People treat you differently, and even if they don't you are anxious that they do. So they are asking for money, or you don't know if they like you or the money, or they are using you for you connections.
One client who has gone from rich to poor to mega mega rich says that when he saw how most of his friends disapeared when he lost his money, he was more depressed then the bankruptcey or not knowing how he would pay for the heat. He says now he doesnt trust anyone, including family, which is very hard way to live. He makes his kids get very intense prenups because there are to many gold diggers ( he isnt frum) who want to marry them, take everything and divorce ( happens to his friends) |
That’s true for the mega rich yes. You’re right about that. For the average very comfortable person not, unless they work really hard to SEEM mega rich.
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giftedmom
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Yesterday at 12:31 pm
| amother Peach wrote: | | Rich people worry about losing their money. Poor people don't have that worry, they don't have it to lose. |
By that logic parents worry about losing their children so are childless people better off?
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giftedmom
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Yesterday at 12:33 pm
| doodlesmom wrote: | Let get this straight people with problems can be happy or sad, and people without problems can be happy or sad.
Happiness is from within. Peace comes from within.
You people are referring to less stress, less problems etc, but that is not happiness look around you! |
All I need to do is look within me not around me. It’s impossible to be happy when you’re in fight or flight survival mode because of constant pressure and no break.
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amother
Beige
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Yesterday at 12:38 pm
Happiness is a state of mind. It’s not a result of money, challenges, life circusmatnces. It’s a choice. I know people who have the saddest lives who are so genuinely happy and v.v.
I’d never want to be Uber wealthy. I’m scared of ayin hara, of the temptations it brings etc. however I would love to be so comfortable that allows me the luxuries of life to make life simpler and more convenient- for example, more cleaning help, more vacation, the ability to shop without stress and need to get the best price….that level of wealth would be a game changer. It gives a level of Menucha hanefesh that is hard to acquire while struggling financially if not a tremendous Baal Bitachon.
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amother
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Yesterday at 12:42 pm
| giftedmom wrote: | | That’s true for the mega rich yes. You’re right about that. For the average very comfortable person not, unless they work really hard to SEEM mega rich. |
I don't know if that is true
I know a lot of very comfortable not ostentatious people and they also deal with a lot of pressure from tzeddaka collectors, a lot of anxiety around what relationships are real and what are just networking for money for various causes.
There is anxiety on your investments, concerns about your children and raising them to "softly" and dependent, and if you will be able to keep up the level of assistance for the next generations. There is anxiety about investments and the economy, that the plain old me who doesn't have what to invest doesnt deal with.
True - the mega rich have it worse, but the very comfortable/ moderately wealthy ( I am talking about people with a few homes, a bunch of investments, but a net worth of a few million$, not hundreds of millions) also deal with this stuff. There is usually a business with stresses that come along with that - and there is a responsibility to your employees to keep growing and staying successful.
And to be frum and not have stress around money, that is the bracket you need to be in.
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amother
Lightgreen
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Yesterday at 12:48 pm
While struggles and sources if unhappiness can happen at any income bracket, having the money to deal with those problems reduces stress and allows someone the chance to work on finding peace and serenity. While it is a mindset and comes from the inside, it is a lot easier to find it if you aren't worried about paying rent or fixing a broken car.
I have so many stresses that would be gone if I won the lottery. Yes I would have different stresses like where to invest or how to donate it appropriately. But I would have a minivan and be able to fit all my kids in comfortably. Have space for each kid to zone out on their own, especially my special needs kid. Space and money to help each kid with their own needs. Pay for therapies and treatments not covered by insurance. Not picking a therapist or OT based off who insurance covers but on who is best for the kid's specific needs. Or even paying for that OT!! Pay for my kid to join a sports league. Or another to get art. For a cleaning lady so I can spend more time with kids and take them to these extra curricular activities that they really would benefit from. Having that help and not working so many hours so I can spend time with husband and kids. Not stressing because a kid ripped another pair of pants and I don't know how to replace.
Money can give you the help to be able to have the time and energy to find happiness and peace.
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#BestBubby
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Yesterday at 12:58 pm
Money is a Brocha.
The Torah says so.
Every Rosh Chodesh we davven for
Osher v Kovod (rich and honor)
And also for Yiras Shomayim so we use it responsibly
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amother
Clover
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Yesterday at 1:07 pm
I’ll bite.
I have a lot less money than I did a couple years ago.
I’m just as happy.
Really.
I’m good natured mostly bh!
I can sometimes worry, about finances, but it doesn’t take away from my general happy disposition.
I’d like for things to change iyh. I don’t think I’ll be happier.
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amother
Honeydew
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Yesterday at 1:15 pm
| amother Dandelion wrote: | | Rich man is unhappy cuz he cant buy the skyscraper in manhattan. Poor man is unhappy cuz he cant have a roof over his head. Quite a difference. |
This is so oversimplified.
Only people with money would understand the stress a rich person has.
What if it’s true that the market is crashing? Or what if the bank freezes my account and I can’t pay the 20 million dollar loan? Or if the new tenant regulations go into effect? Or the new zoning? Or tariffs? Or the building was over valued? And now I’ll be stuck with a 100 million dollar building I can’t sell? And the bank is gonna come for my assets? I’ll lose my multimillion dollar family home because how will I ever manage keep it? Will the FBI come for me? Is my client/competitor working on a lawsuit? What if I invested in a project, and later discovered major structural issues that are impossible to fix? Or hidden regulations that I missed? And omg tax season is here!
Declaring yourself bankrupt when you’re 12,000 is in debt is terrible.
Declaring yourself bankrupt when you’re a half a billion in debt is often catastrophic.
There are very few people who have wealth without stress. Usually they are nepo babies who money just gets deposited every week. Anyone else, even the world richest billionaires, are worrying that things will go wrong.
We are “rich” bh.
All legal, kosher and straightforward.
And yet.
There is no real relaxing on yom tov. Even with the most expensive food and clothes. What is happening in the bank? Is anyone trying to reach me urgently?
There is no real unplugging on vacation. Even on the fanciest tropical islands.
There is no Sunday funday.
Then there’s also the rich man’s problem of not being happy with items anymore. A poor man gets a car/house/pair of shoes, he’s thrilled! Walking on clouds. A rich man has lost the ability to be excited for anything. It might sound like a small problem, but from a psychological pov it’s devastating.
Would I choose to be poor? Probably not.
But I can’t tell you that I don’t often envy the rebbi families, the car service drivers, the cashiers. They’re lives seem a lot simpler and less complicated.
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amother
Lavender
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Yesterday at 2:00 pm
I was well off, now I'm about 10 steps away from food stamps. I am not happier than I was but im not much sadder either. Interestingly, my husband now goes to shul and learns and has a much stronger relationship with Hashem which makes me happy. So yes, were not looking for a second home now but other things evolved and we are still happy, in different ways.
Just adding that - were still paying the mortgage and tuition but not really money for anything else so I think being at less than we are now and struggling with my (small) mortgage would be extremely challenging and I'd likely be less happy (ir more stressed)
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amother
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Yesterday at 2:21 pm
| amother Tangerine wrote: | | Money itself is a nisayon. If we have money, weare responsible for making sure we use it properly. I don't know that I would be able to do that properly. |
Tevya from Fiddler on the roof said it wisest
Perchik:
Money is the world's curse.
Tevye:
May the Lord smite me with it. And may I never recover
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amother
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Yesterday at 2:37 pm
| mha3484 wrote: | Off the top of my head:
Loss of a child
Loss of a spouse
Substance issues
Severely disabled children
Major health issues
Maybe my experiences are just unusual but I know more people with those issues with money then without. |
You can’t draw any conclusions based on you knowing more people with a lot of money and those problems. Maybe you know more people with a lot of money or maybe you see things more when you expect to see them. I know a lot of widows and orphans who started out poor. Many of them have people collecting to set up funds for them so they may be more secure financially since the tragedy. There aren’t more disabled children in wealthy families. There’s nothing that would make it seem these problems exist more in wealthy homes, but when wealthy people have these issues they can afford to deal with them.
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amother
Glitter
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Yesterday at 2:43 pm
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Idk I’m neighbors with a family who’s very wealthy but has a daughter who is nonverbal and is on the spectrum. Their son also died from a possible overdose.
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amother
Violet
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Yesterday at 10:25 pm
| amother Honeydew wrote: | This is so oversimplified.
Only people with money would understand the stress a rich person has.
What if it’s true that the market is crashing? Or what if the bank freezes my account and I can’t pay the 20 million dollar loan? Or if the new tenant regulations go into effect? Or the new zoning? Or tariffs? Or the building was over valued? And now I’ll be stuck with a 100 million dollar building I can’t sell? And the bank is gonna come for my assets? I’ll lose my multimillion dollar family home because how will I ever manage keep it? Will the FBI come for me? Is my client/competitor working on a lawsuit? What if I invested in a project, and later discovered major structural issues that are impossible to fix? Or hidden regulations that I missed? And omg tax season is here!
Declaring yourself bankrupt when you’re 12,000 is in debt is terrible.
Declaring yourself bankrupt when you’re a half a billion in debt is often catastrophic.
There are very few people who have wealth without stress. Usually they are nepo babies who money just gets deposited every week. Anyone else, even the world richest billionaires, are worrying that things will go wrong.
We are “rich” bh.
All legal, kosher and straightforward.
And yet.
There is no real relaxing on yom tov. Even with the most expensive food and clothes. What is happening in the bank? Is anyone trying to reach me urgently?
There is no real unplugging on vacation. Even on the fanciest tropical islands.
There is no Sunday funday.
Then there’s also the rich man’s problem of not being happy with items anymore. A poor man gets a car/house/pair of shoes, he’s thrilled! Walking on clouds. A rich man has lost the ability to be excited for anything. It might sound like a small problem, but from a psychological pov it’s devastating.
Would I choose to be poor? Probably not.
But I can’t tell you that I don’t often envy the rebbi families, the car service drivers, the cashiers. They’re lives seem a lot simpler and less complicated. |
Not everyone who is rich is half a billion in debt. You're talking of the worries of a business owner/investor not davka of a rich person. It's true that the higher the risk, the more the worry but you don't have to have that high risk in order to be rich.
The worries you are describing are of someone who has invested beyond their worth and will lose everything if anything goes wrong. You may be spending money, you may have assets worth a lot but bottom line, you're in debt way over your head.
Dare I say that not relaxing even over yomtov is definitely a matter of mindset, of emunah? You think the poor person who doesn't even know how he will pay his rent should be happy over yomtov because after all, what does he have to lose, just the roof that wasn't even his in the first place?
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