I smacked my daughter. Hard. :(

↑ #BestBubby ↓

Yesterday at 10:44 am

amother Denim wrote:

Have you ever been s3xually abused/molested. That would make sense for a big reaction.

BTW my 8 year old is just like your daughter. It's really draining if they behave like this every day.

They behave like that daily because you teach them that they are allowed.

amother

Rose

Yesterday at 10:46 am

Throw all the tomatoes you want at me but I now regret not having my smacked my now 21 YO daughter when she was acting that way as a seven year old.

Not that I'm proponent of hitting now. I'm still happy that I never hit my less difficult children. But it is sometimes warranted. Physically assaulting a parent is sometimes one of those times. Knowing what I know I regret not having hit that daughter when I was in the OPs situation.

I still would have spoken to her sometime afterwards to diffuse the situation.

amother

↑ Teal ↓

Yesterday at 10:47 am

#BestBubby wrote:

Giving ONE slap is not out of control anger.

Punching with a closed fist or repeated blows with screaming is out of control anger.

OP gave a controlled response to
repeated assaults

It doesn't matter if it's one smack or 100. The smack was out of anger & loss of control, and the torah does NOT allow that.
Even if it's one smack. It doesn't matter according to the torah.
A strong slap across the face is NEVER a controlled response.
Please stop justifying this.

amother

↑ Wisteria ↓

Yesterday at 10:48 am

#BestBubby wrote:

They behave like that daily because you teach them that they are allowed.

There's other ways to discipline

amother

↑ Teal ↓

Yesterday at 10:49 am

amother Rose wrote:

A strong smack across the face, is never ever acceptable.
Potch their hand if you feel like you must for chinuch. But never a slap across the face. That is a line crossed.

amother

↑ Teal ↓

Yesterday at 10:51 am

#BestBubby wrote:

One smack = controlled response

Absolutely false.
It's out of anger & being triggered. One strong slap across the face, is one too many.

scruffy

Yesterday at 10:52 am

#BestBubby wrote:

One smack = controlled response

How is it a controlled response, when OP said it was because she was triggered IOW being done without thinking from an emotional place?

Success10 ↓

Yesterday at 10:53 am

Whether you think patching is right or wrong is besides the point. With emotionally unregulated kids like this, it just doesn’t work.

↑ Bnei Berak 10 ↓

Yesterday at 10:53 am

#BestBubby wrote:

They behave like that daily because you teach them that they are allowed.

On this one I am with you. Things need to be nipped in the bud.

Ruchel ↓

Yesterday at 10:53 am

She was asking for something she could have done.
Instead of waiting or doing it or eating the peel or spitting it she hit you repeatedly then lifted your skirt.
Hitting in anger is not the thing that is to do.
But if you read gedolim biographies you'll see what people like bestbubbi mean.

amother

↑ Teal ↓

Yesterday at 10:55 am

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

On this one I am with you. Things need to be nipped in the bud.

And a strong slap across the face will NOT accomplish that.
A slap across the face is not chinuch. Bh there are plenty of other ways to discipline children.

↑ Bnei Berak 10 ↓

Yesterday at 10:57 am

amother Teal wrote:

Absolutely false.
It's out of anger & being triggered. One strong slap across the face, is one too many.

Mothers are human beings, not angels and they aren't perfect.

amother

Blushpink

Yesterday at 10:58 am

So many responses telling OP what she should NOT have done.

Zero responses giving an actual response to a better way to respond in such situations.

So, for those of you that would NEVER hit and consider it abuse. How should / would you respond in this situation? Practical advice is always best.

OP- I would also have a conversation with your daughter about why lifting someone’s skirt is such a bad thing, and if she does that to anyone else, The consequences may be way worse.

↑ Bnei Berak 10 ↓

Yesterday at 11:00 am

amother Teal wrote:

And a strong slap across the face will NOT accomplish that.

How do you know?
I am against physical punishment but I believe all of us can make a mistake.
It was a one time thing.

amother

Pear

Yesterday at 11:02 am

[quote="[url=https://www.imamother.com/forum/viewtopic.php?p=8135807#8135807][b]#BestBubby

A child over 12/13 who hits a parent is Chaya Misa.
[/quote]

What if the child (12 year old girl ) didn't realize what she was doing and/or did it by mistake.

amother

Hyacinth

Yesterday at 11:02 am

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

How do you know?

Because most people with difficult children have snapped and patched at least once or twice or enough times to know that it doesn’t help. It just makes the kid more aggressive.

↑ Ruchel ↓

Yesterday at 11:04 am

mommy3b2c wrote:

Different scenario , but similar in its own way.

My son jumped out at me and yelled boo when he was around 10 . I nearly jumped out of my skin and my gut reaction was a smack in the face . It took me half a second to process what happened and then I burst out laughing . He was staring at me in shock . But through my laughter I gave him a hug and a kiss and I apologized. I said it was an accident, I literally reacted in the moment . For all I knew I wqs hitting a burglar . But that he now learned the natural consequence of screaming boo in someone’s face . He never did that again , lol .

One of mine pranked me. Not a fun prank. I made sure this probably won't happen again iyh. I teach them humor makes everyone laugh

↑ Bnei Berak 10 ↓

Yesterday at 11:08 am

amother Teal wrote:

And you have never lost you temper ever?
Mothers are humans too, not malachim.