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Dad issues



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redlady123  




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 01 2025, 10:48 pm
I need some opinions and want to hear what people would do in my case.

I grew up with parents who fought a lot yet still loved each other very much. When I was younger I found out about my dad cheating on my mom with her best friend. He cheated many times and my mom forgave to keep the family together. There was one women my mom cought my dad with 2 times and they promised to stop and then finally the 3rd time my mom caught them and had enough and confronted my dad and he told her that he has a two year plan to leave my mom with this lady. My mom broke down depressed and he was kicked out of the house and they have been seperated since and are getting divorced. It taking a little while to settle the divorce since they are dealing with finances and my dad is being cheap and my mom wants to make sure she gets the most she can. There have been a few incidents where we see the lady cause we live in the same area and it hurts us and my siblings see her and they cry. We always confront my dad and fight with him about it about how messed up it is and he says he doesnt understand why it gets us upset its between him and my mom. There is a lot more to the story but to make it short im married with a kid bh and im wondering what I should do. I go through times where im not speaking to my dad and im mad at him but then other days I feel bad im nice and see him. Deep down he is a nice person and I think he cares about us his kids im not sure tho... I feel bad for none of us to speak to him cause then he will be alone with no family and hes my dad but at the same time he did this to himself.

What do people feel????
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Molly Weasley




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 01 2025, 11:19 pm
I think it's time to move on, not necessarily to forget that your father destroyed the family, but at this point, there's nothing left to salvage. The divorce is final; move on.
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notshanarishona




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 01 2025, 11:28 pm
If your dad is not abusive I would be in touch with him . I wouldn’t go there for Shabbos or treat his infidelity wife as a step mom.
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  redlady123




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 02 2025, 12:06 am
what about the fact how he hurt my mom so much
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nightingale1




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 02 2025, 12:10 am
I’d be so angry. He is wrong it’s not just between your parents, it’s a betrayal to the whole family unit and it affected you very very much. That’s not to say that I’m telling you to cut him off. Just that I completely understand your feelings and they’re so valid.
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