Teens girls going out at night

amother

Yesterday at 6:55 am

Can someone help explaining me what is considered normal? Yeshivish, right wing, orthodox, out of town. My 10th grader constantly wants to go out with her friends late at night, claims that "everyone" is allowed to except for her. She says she has friends who don't have curfews and who go around driving at 2 in the morning etc etc. She asked me last night of she could go out at 11:15 because she needed a break from studying. she wanted to go driving with a friend amd I said no. She said I'm stealing her teenagehood from her.I still didn't let her go. Can someone help me with this? Is this a real thing that I need to just look the other way about?

Hashem_Yaazor ↓

Yesterday at 7:29 am

I don't let my daughters go out aimlessly and definitely not that late.
My daughter asked me just last night if she could go to a friend to do an assignment together. It was 11:15. I said ok as long as she's back by 11:45. It's a 3 minute drive and I would still be up to hear she got back safely. By saying yes to things like this, I feel no guilt saying no to when she asks for permission to "go out" with no plan of what she's doing and for how long (where I live, nothing is open late anyway!)

amother

Puce ↓

Yesterday at 7:41 am

I think it depends on your daughter. If she is the type of kid to get herself into trouble or not. My teenager has great friends and is a good girl so her going out at night doesn’t bother me at all. I know she’s not doing anything stupid and that’s just what teenagers do. It’s part of their teenage years. I also live in a super safe area so I’m not worries about that either. I think it’s healthy for her to be able to go out with her friends and for her to know that I trust her.

amother

Nemesia ↓

Yesterday at 8:50 am

amother Puce wrote:

No girl, no matter how good of a girl she is, should be out at 2AM driving around. That's just irresponsible. Girls shouldn't be out at 11:15 either, just for the sake if driving around & being out. No good comes from this, regardless of how good the girl may be.

amother

Slateblue

Yesterday at 8:54 am

I live in a very dense Jewish community. DD walks to and from he’s friends, they’re all within 2-3 blocks. On school nights sh needs to be home latest 11:30.

amother

Denim

Yesterday at 9:04 am

My 16 year old DD hangs out with friends on a m"s, sometimes until very late. It's always at someone's house. We would definitely not be ok with her going out late on a random school night. And teenagers shouldn't be driving around with other teenagers because that's a recipe for disaster - distracted driving in young drivers is just as bad as drunk driving. DD is still taking driver's Ed, but once she gets her license we plan on having strict rules about driving with other people in the car.

amother

Dodgerblue

Yesterday at 9:06 am

I live out of town, in a frum area, and have a daughter about that age. I would never let her go out driving with a friend at 1am. What friends are even driving then? It’s illegal (here) for teens to be driving then, and no respectable teen is out then. Unless you’re dropping her off and picking her up, sorry to say this but teens out that late are up to no good. Nothing is open then except bars and slurpees, and the people who get slurpees that time of night are NOT the types of people I want my children around. I don’t even want to be around them. OP, you did the right thing.
Edited to add there are also laws about how many people can be in a car with a new driver.

amother

Steelblue

Yesterday at 9:07 am

Can we have everyone post if they are a parent of teens or if they were just recently teens… I feel like responses on these teen posts are people projecting what they wanted their parents to do for them in the last 5 years and not really parents of teens.

amother

↑ Nemesia ↓

Yesterday at 9:07 am

amother Cherry wrote:

If she has a phone with her and is responsible and no school the next day, I would let her go out.

At 2AM? Even 11:30 is irresponsible & doesn't bring any good.

amother

↑ Nemesia ↓

Yesterday at 9:10 am

amother Steelblue wrote:

I have teens. They need to be home by 10:30. I don't know anyone that allows their teens to be out just driving around late at night. That is so irresponsible & brings no good.

amother

Daffodil

Yesterday at 9:14 am

Ages of teens matter also

My 19 year old post high school daughter, for sure id let.

My 16 and 17 year old sons usually get together with friends over off Shabbos. We will bring them to their friends houses or a meeting place and they will hang out with their friends until 1 am. But not driving themselves.

amother

↑ Bronze

Yesterday at 9:14 am

amother Steelblue wrote:

I have teens up to age 18. Would never allow this, especially just for fun. It's a terrible idea.

amother

↑ Cherry ↓

Yesterday at 9:17 am

amother Nemesia wrote:

At 2AM? Even 11:30 is irresponsible & doesn't bring any good.

Maybe we are envisioning different things.

I would let a responsible teen drive to a friend and hang out late at night.

If she was joyriding and going to hang out in sketchy places, then I would not be ok with it.

amother

↑ Nemesia

Yesterday at 9:19 am

amother Cherry wrote:

I don't think teens should be driving themselves anywhere late at night.
I believe that children should be home late at night.

amother

↑ Cherry ↓

Yesterday at 9:23 am

amother Nemesia wrote:

I don't think teens should be driving themselves anywhere late at night.
I believe that children should be home late at night.

How old is this child? 15 or 19?

Maybe I'm too chill. As long as I can reach my kid and know where they are, I'm not too concerned.

amother

Broom

Yesterday at 9:31 am

amother Cherry wrote:

This is not the 1800s. There are ways to hang out online and at the very least there's the telephone and texting.

amother

↑ Cherry

Yesterday at 10:23 am

amother Broom wrote:

This is not the 1800s. There are ways to hang out online and at the very least there's the telephone and texting.

Teens are on a different clock than adults. 12 midnight is early for them.

I don't know how hanging out virtually is a substitute for actual interaction with friends.

I guess I just don't see the big deal.

GLUE

Yesterday at 10:31 am

In the summer my daughter got locked out a few times
when I locked the door I did not even check if she was home because at that hour of course she was home.
lesson learned (for both of us)
This was not driving it was walking around the neighborhood