Teens girls going out at night

amother

NeonPink

Yesterday at 10:41 am

My teens are young but I can't imagine ever having them out past about 10pm on a regular night (not shabbos yom tov or some other "late" event.

Most teen babysitters don't stay past 10:30-11 or so.

amother

cornflower

Yesterday at 10:44 am

OP whatever you decide as a parent is the right thing for your child. If you say no then there is no reason to second guess yourself. Kids often say "I'm the only one who doesn't get to do xyz..." Firstly, this is often a big fat lie. Secondly, who cares what the other kids are doing... Yes the teen cares but as a parent we can't be so easily swayed by what the "cool kids" are doing. I have told my teen that I am her mother and care about her. I told her I am not responsible for her friends and the choices their parents make for them. I really don't think our teens should be out and about in middle of the night. Even kids who have a good relationship with their parents are still kids and still do stupid things sometimes. It's part of growing up.

↑ Hashem_Yaazor ↓

Yesterday at 10:48 am

amother Brown wrote:

Don't 16yo's have curfew on their drivers licenses? I know I did. I think we were not allowed to drive between 10pm and 6am but I don't remember 100%.

In my state, it's only after midnight that's an issue on the first level of license (and exceptions made for work/school)

↑ Hashem_Yaazor ↓

Yesterday at 10:50 am

amother NeonPink wrote:

My teens are young but I can't imagine ever having them out past about 10pm on a regular night (not shabbos yom tov or some other "late" event.

Most teen babysitters don't stay past 10:30-11 or so.

My daughter on any given night might have several outside the home responsibilities. One night recently she had a Bnos group to run, a meeting about a convention committee she's heading, prep for an in school initiative she led... She only gets home shortly after 5, has supper and homework. If her Bnos group ends at 8:30, her other responsibilities won't be done by 10 if they coincide on the same night.

amother

Indigo

Yesterday at 11:02 am

In my neighborhood, yes, the beis yackov girls are parading around at all hours of the night, teachers kids included. The go to 7-11 for slurpees and other shtusim. We are ‘more modern’ but since the ‘yeshivish’ families aren’t saying no to their high schoolers, it leaves us in a bind. I researched this and my girls are not making it up. The girls really are galavanting around town including the frummies.

↑ Hashem_Yaazor

Yesterday at 11:04 am

And the funny thing is I have 2 boys in out of town batei medrash... They're post high school so I'm not sure how curfew works at all and I have no idea what time they may be out and not in their dorms. Ignorance is bliss I suppose.

amother

Molasses

Yesterday at 11:50 pm

I have high school girls and wouldn't let them drive around that late. Nothing good comes out of such outings. There are plenty of girls hanging out and doing things their parents wouldn't approve of, if they would know. My girls always talk about the sketchy things their classmates are doing and the parents have no clue. (Right wing Flatbush for reference)

amother

Wine

Yesterday at 11:56 pm

amother OP wrote:

Can someone help explaining me what is considered normal? Yeshivish, right wing, orthodox, out of town. My 10th grader constantly wants to go out with her friends late at night, claims that "everyone" is allowed to except for her. She says she has friends who don't have curfews and who go around driving at 2 in the morning etc etc. She asked me last night of she could go out at 11:15 because she needed a break from studying. she wanted to go driving with a friend amd I said no. She said I'm stealing her teenagehood from her.I still didn't let her go. Can someone help me with this? Is this a real thing that I need to just look the other way about?

If it has become the norm, does that make it a. good idea? Does it mean you have to go along with what is clearly horrible parenting?

Yes, I hear these things are happening. My daughters will not be a part of this. I don't care what the other parents go along with. This is a terrible and inappropriate idea for many reasons.

amother

↑ Puce

Today at 3:58 am

amother Nemesia wrote:

No girl, no matter how good of a girl she is, should be out at 2AM driving around. That's just irresponsible. Girls shouldn't be out at 11:15 either, just for the sake if driving around & being out. No good comes from this, regardless of how good the girl may be.

I disagree. I was the type of girl who was always out late with her friends and never once got myself into any sort of trouble or did anything stupid

amother

Bisque

Today at 4:16 am

16? or 19? big difference.

16 no I wldnt want her driving around at 2am, at 11 maybe for half HR. encourage other things for 11pm, baking , painting etc.

19? they big enuf to make their own choices but in the light of the day I wld explain gently that it can be dangerous and u worry and are there alternatives she can do at 2 am...

also as a one off, not so terrible
this is also not a discussion to have late at night....