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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> Toddlers
amother
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 Tue, Dec 24 2024, 1:37 am
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I work as a babysitter from home. Recently, one of the mothers has been sending her baby in pajamas and still in his diaper from the night. She asks me to change him and get him dressed. I feel like this is not my responsibility and I’m being used. She doesn’t work so it’s not like she’s rushing in the morning. Am I supposed to be doing this? Is it part of being a babysitter?
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Iymnok
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Tue, Dec 24 2024, 1:49 am
Only if you agreed on it beforehand, or in the rare occurrence that the child slept in.
The baby should come in a clean diaper and dressed.
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amother
Floralwhite
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Tue, Dec 24 2024, 1:58 am
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OP this sounds like a major red flag if the baby is still in a diaper from the night before, and like you said it’s not the mom rushing out the door cuz she works. I’d see if maybe she had postpartum and needs extra help, I don’t think she’s specifically using you.
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amother
Jetblack
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Tue, Dec 24 2024, 2:07 am
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Defintely not typical. I think it's fine for you to say by pickup, hey going forward can you please dress him and bring him in a fresh diaper?
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amother
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Tue, Dec 24 2024, 2:29 am
| amother Floralwhite wrote: | | OP this sounds like a major red flag if the baby is still in a diaper from the night before, and like you said it’s not the mom rushing out the door cuz she works. I’d see if maybe she had postpartum and needs extra help, I don’t think she’s specifically using you. |
I doubt it’s postpartum depression he’s already 15 months……
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amother
NeonGreen
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Tue, Dec 24 2024, 2:29 am
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Tbh as a babysitter this is a red flag that something else is going on with the mother. I wouldn't assume you are being used, I would assume the mother is either overwhelmed or has some mental health issues going on. Honestly if she isn't working it's weird to send a baby to a babysitter anyway imo....
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amother
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Tue, Dec 24 2024, 2:29 am
| amother Jetblack wrote: | | Defintely not typical. I think it's fine for you to say by pickup, hey going forward can you please dress him and bring him in a fresh diaper? |
Yes thanks I think I need to do that
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teachkids
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Tue, Dec 24 2024, 2:33 am
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Once in a while like the morning after a vacation when they may have come straight from travel is reasonable. Every day is not unless it’s an early drop off place. (One of my kids used to be dropped off at 7 twice a week- babysitter told us we could just bring her in pjs and she would get her ready, because she assumed we were grabbing her straight from bed)
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notshanarishona
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Tue, Dec 24 2024, 2:53 am
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If you’re a private one:one babysitter then it’s always a gray line about your job being anything they ask . Edit because I just saw you wrote a group, then it’s completely inappropriate for the mom to expect you to change them from the night: leaving a kid in a full diaper from who knows how long they woke up is pretty gross and dysfunctional . I would tell her it bothers you.
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LovesHashem
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Tue, Dec 24 2024, 3:01 am
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Forget it being your job, I'd insist it's not simply because that's so cruel and borderline abusive. Pajamas OK, but the diaper from the night before?! Poor baby.
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amother
Brunette
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Tue, Dec 24 2024, 3:12 am
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amother
Ruby
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Tue, Dec 24 2024, 4:57 am
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Is this new? Is the mom perhaps in early pregnancy.
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imaima
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Tue, Dec 24 2024, 4:58 am
| amother OP wrote: | | I doubt it’s postpartum depression he’s already 15 months…… |
Yes not okay on a regular basis.
I can imagine I could do that if I had an early appointment and my baby slept in that particular day, but otherwise at 15 months they are supposed to be changed into a new diaper and clothes
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amother
Sienna
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Tue, Dec 24 2024, 5:06 am
| amother NeonGreen wrote: | | Tbh as a babysitter this is a red flag that something else is going on with the mother. I wouldn't assume you are being used, I would assume the mother is either overwhelmed or has some mental health issues going on. Honestly if she isn't working it's weird to send a baby to a babysitter anyway imo.... |
That’s presumptuous! He’s 15 months not an infant and many ppl send out that age so they can run errands or clean up in peace. Usually the kid naps by the babysitter so they just spend a few hours conscious away from mom…
Op, either she’s depressed or she/ her husband did it once and think it’s a great hack. I’ve sent my kid in like that maybe once or twice and definitely told the teacher she can leave them in pjs. But usually they had a pretty dry diaper (like if we were up from 2 to 5 am, I put back in with a fresh diaper at 5 and woke up at 8 to send out). I apologized though!
Definitely say something nicely. If it’s ppd it’s not your job to intrude at this point . If you say something and nothing changes and/ or you feel up to it you can ask them if everything is ok.
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