A hundred million things

amother

OP ↓

Fri, Dec 20 2024, 11:34 am

DD 10 is a busy body and collects, and uses, and needs, a hundred million things. She has an endless amount of prize bins and junk bins and all shapes and sizes of writing and art paraphernalia all over the place. She has another few garbage bags of prizes in our storage because I promised I won't throw it away...
Right now she's not feeling well so she set up the air purifier, humidifier, noise maker and loads of books near her bed. Because one or two of the above would be too little.
She also has about 5 different blankets and as many pillows in her bed of all different textures, colors, and sizes but she wouldn't give up on any.
Her teacher said that she has to stop playing around with all the little stuff in and on her desk during lessons because they are distracting.
Her backpack weighs about 100 lbs and besides for school work its stocked with lots of stuff she needs for the bus and papers and food that has seen better days but she NEEDS them. Everything has a purpose and they are all truly important to her. She is also the self appointed bus monitor, class president, and messenger for any phone message that needs to be relayed to the whole class.
Her room is always a flying wreck because it's hard to keep track of what goes where but as much as I dump (read: put in storage) the stuff seem to multiply like the frogs.
Can anyone help me before I drown in her hundred million stuff?
Anyone relate?
Does this have a diagnosis? Needs therapy? Medication? Timeout? Burnout? Takeout?

amother

Tulip

Fri, Dec 20 2024, 11:45 am

She sounds like she needs sensory input and probably has some executive functioning delays. My 10 yo dd is kah really smart but has similar tendencies. She has so much stuff! I told her she has a place to keep it, if it fits into that bin, u can keep it, but if it's left around the house, it's public property.
Also fidgeting in desk, it might be disturbing to the teacher but it might be helping her concentrate. Maybe find something she can play with that doesn't make noise or smell. My favorite for students to play with is fun-tack. It's silent and clean.

amother

Carnation

Fri, Dec 20 2024, 11:56 am

Give her one large bin or shelf in a closet or whatever amount you can afford space wise and tell her whatever fits in there she can keep and everything else is thrown out. If she has a REAL problem being able to do that then I would look into therapy cuz you’ve got a future hoarder on your hands.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Fri, Dec 20 2024, 12:26 pm

amother Tulip wrote:

Thank you. Any specific brand that's good? (This is cheaper than therapy for a start)

amother

Azure

Fri, Dec 20 2024, 12:48 pm

Could be called ADD . She doesn't beed a label. She needs a mom with patience who will keep guiding her, helping her organize and who sets a good example by keeping an orderly neat home.
Hopefully the patient lessons will sink in and she will learn coping mechanisms to keep herself together.
The way you are describing DD was me. Bh in high school I learnt what I needed to do (daily maintenance) to keep my life in order. These days none if my neighbors who didn't know me I. My youth do not believe ne when I tell them of my inmate nature to be a total slob

amother

Bottlebrush

Fri, Dec 20 2024, 12:52 pm

amother Carnation wrote:

I was gonna say the same thing....

flowerpower

Fri, Dec 20 2024, 2:24 pm

amother Indigo wrote:

Does she have ADD/ADHD

This came to my mind too. My dd was a hoarder. I got a bin and told her she can keep whatever fits in there. Once a week I would go through all her stuff with her and discuss what to do with it- her bookbag, her junk bin, her drawer….. we figured out if it was needed or if not what we can do with it. By now its 96% outgrown. She still has a drawer but not a bin anymore

amother

Molasses

Yesterday at 1:56 pm

Yes, takeout definitely! Just had to respond to your last line Smile

I wasn't 100% this, but def aspects of what you wrote remind me of myself as a kid. I just really liked stuff, everything that I wanted to keep I had a reason and truly felt it was enhancing my life to have it. Eventually the cluttered feeling started catching up with me and bit by bit I would get rid of stuff. I always admired my sister's sparkling clean surfaces but it was tough competition with that intense desire to HAVE ALL THE STUFF in case I would need it at some point (or because I felt I needed it now). For me, it also played out in information. Wanted to know all the things, loved to have just the perfect fact or riddle or conceptualizion. Came from that same place of wanting to have just the right thing for when that perfect moment came. If this resonates at all with you about your daughter, check out "input gallup strengthsfinder" just google it. Might be interesting to see a flip side of seeing this need as a strength.

Regardless, there is hope she will grow out of it! I don't think I would have liked my mom trying to make me get rid of stuff at that age but that doesn't mean you shouldn't do it. Just do it compassionately, and try to make it a collaborative effort. Make it a conversation, be curious to hear how she feels about all this stuff, what it does for her, etc. Hatzlacha!

amother

↑ OP

Yesterday at 6:39 pm

amother Molasses wrote:

Yes, takeout definitely! Just had to respond to your last line Smile

Oh she has a hundred million questions all the time too. I'll check that out. Thanks.