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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Giving Gifts
amother
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 Yesterday at 2:52 pm
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What do I give for a neighbor’s bar miztvah, invited for kiddish and dessert reception. Not close at all with the family but live nearby so see them often. Lakewood area.
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amother
Wisteria
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Yesterday at 3:43 pm
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We just made a bar mitzvah- not a dessert reception but a seuda. Average amount for a check was about 100. Some gave less and some gave more but mostly 100. It was all fine, whatever you give will be nice.
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amother
Seagreen
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Yesterday at 3:44 pm
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18-25 is plenty if not invited for meal
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amother
Fuchsia
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Yesterday at 3:50 pm
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This is so community dependent and your personal finances. If you have a lot of extra money, even if you’re not close you could give $100. If you don’t have a lot of money, send a candy platter.
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amother
Tanzanite
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Yesterday at 4:39 pm
You do not give $100 for a dessert reception unless you are uber wealthy. Did u chip in with any neighbor to send something to the kiddush? I would spend $36-50 on a gift or gift card (sefarim store) at most.
If you are invited for a dinner I would give $100 if both spouses go, $75 if only one did.
Lakewood, middle class circles. Less if this is a chinuch/yeshivish circle.
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amother
DarkPurple
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Yesterday at 4:43 pm
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For a regular neighbor/friend I send a $50 check plus chip in for something for the kiddush. For a close friend, $100.
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goodvibes
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Yesterday at 5:02 pm
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We regularly give $50 when invited to a Bar Mitzvah. If it’s someone really close to us, we’ll up it to $100-200 depending on the situation
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amother
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Yesterday at 5:45 pm
| amother Tanzanite wrote: | You do not give $100 for a dessert reception unless you are uber wealthy. Did u chip in with any neighbor to send something to the kiddush? I would spend $36-50 on a gift or gift card (sefarim store) at most.
If you are invited for a dinner I would give $100 if both spouses go, $75 if only one did.
Lakewood, middle class circles. Less if this is a chinuch/yeshivish circle. |
There was no group gift
We were not invited to seudah so I think 100 is way overkill (we are not rich!)
Lakewood middle class
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amother
Orange
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Yesterday at 6:01 pm
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After reading the post earlier today on "300k not enough.." how can anyone afford to give $100 for every close person who's making a bar mitzvah? Genuinely curious.
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amother
Hawthorn
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Yesterday at 6:09 pm
We just had our son's bar mitzva. Most who came for meal gave $50. Neighbors if not super close are best off arranging a group gift. Do you have other neighbors you can ask? Some things he got:
Challah cover
Challah knife
Menorah
Siddur
Shabbos zmiros
Sefarim
English books on torah topics
Fancy pen
Kiddush cup
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amother
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Yesterday at 7:14 pm
| amother Hawthorn wrote: | We just had our son's bar mitzva. Most who came for meal gave $50. Neighbors if not super close are best off arranging a group gift. Do you have other neighbors you can ask? Some things he got:
Challah cover
Challah knife
Menorah
Siddur
Shabbos zmiros
Sefarim
English books on torah topics
Fancy pen
Kiddush cup |
I think the other neighbors are closer and will be giving a nicer gift on their own and don’t want to chip in
I’m the only one that’s not so close, I’m newer to the neighborhood and was not invited to the meal.
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amother
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Yesterday at 7:35 pm
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I live in an older middle age lkwd neighborhood. Neighbors gave Sefer $25 maximum amount.
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amother
Aquamarine
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Yesterday at 7:50 pm
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At the most we chip in for a platter with neighbors. For family chip in for machzorim or becher. Otherwise we don't give . We just don't have the extra money ...
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