Bar mitzvah amount

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Forum -> Relationships -> Giving Gifts

Bar mitzvah amount

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amother

OP ↓

Thu, Dec 19 2024, 2:52 pm

What do I give for a neighbor’s bar miztvah, invited for kiddish and dessert reception. Not close at all with the family but live nearby so see them often. Lakewood area.

amother

Wisteria

Thu, Dec 19 2024, 3:43 pm

We just made a bar mitzvah- not a dessert reception but a seuda. Average amount for a check was about 100. Some gave less and some gave more but mostly 100. It was all fine, whatever you give will be nice.

amother

Seagreen

Thu, Dec 19 2024, 3:44 pm

18-25 is plenty if not invited for meal

amother

Fuchsia

Thu, Dec 19 2024, 3:50 pm

This is so community dependent and your personal finances. If you have a lot of extra money, even if you’re not close you could give $100. If you don’t have a lot of money, send a candy platter.

amother

Tanzanite

Thu, Dec 19 2024, 4:39 pm

You do not give $100 for a dessert reception unless you are uber wealthy. Did u chip in with any neighbor to send something to the kiddush? I would spend $36-50 on a gift or gift card (sefarim store) at most.

If you are invited for a dinner I would give $100 if both spouses go, $75 if only one did.

Lakewood, middle class circles. Less if this is a chinuch/yeshivish circle.

amother

DarkPurple

Thu, Dec 19 2024, 4:43 pm

For a regular neighbor/friend I send a $50 check plus chip in for something for the kiddush. For a close friend, $100.

amother

RosePink ↓

Thu, Dec 19 2024, 4:47 pm

$15-20 sefer

goodvibes

Thu, Dec 19 2024, 5:02 pm

We regularly give $50 when invited to a Bar Mitzvah. If it’s someone really close to us, we’ll up it to $100-200 depending on the situation

amother

↑ OP ↓

Thu, Dec 19 2024, 5:45 pm

amother Tanzanite wrote:

There was no group gift

We were not invited to seudah so I think 100 is way overkill (we are not rich!)

Lakewood middle class

amother

Orange

Thu, Dec 19 2024, 6:01 pm

After reading the post earlier today on "300k not enough.." how can anyone afford to give $100 for every close person who's making a bar mitzvah? Genuinely curious.

amother

Hawthorn

Thu, Dec 19 2024, 6:09 pm

We just had our son's bar mitzva. Most who came for meal gave $50. Neighbors if not super close are best off arranging a group gift. Do you have other neighbors you can ask? Some things he got:

Challah cover
Challah knife
Menorah
Siddur
Shabbos zmiros
Sefarim
English books on torah topics
Fancy pen
Kiddush cup

amother

↑ OP

Thu, Dec 19 2024, 7:14 pm

amother Hawthorn wrote:

I think the other neighbors are closer and will be giving a nicer gift on their own and don’t want to chip in

I’m the only one that’s not so close, I’m newer to the neighborhood and was not invited to the meal.

amother

↑ RosePink

Thu, Dec 19 2024, 7:35 pm

I live in an older middle age lkwd neighborhood. Neighbors gave Sefer $25 maximum amount.

amother

Aquamarine

Thu, Dec 19 2024, 7:50 pm

At the most we chip in for a platter with neighbors. For family chip in for machzorim or becher. Otherwise we don't give . We just don't have the extra money ...

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