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Forum
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Would you wear a necklace with DH name outside?
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| Yes |
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9% |
[ 20 ] |
| No |
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88% |
[ 197 ] |
| Other |
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2% |
[ 5 ] |
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| Total Votes : 222 |
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amother
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 Mon, Dec 16 2024, 7:05 pm
Uch. No. Not my thing at all.
Maybe it’s an age thing. Are you very young, OP?
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amother
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Mon, Dec 16 2024, 7:06 pm
| amother Dandelion wrote: | Uch. No. Not my thing at all.
Maybe it’s an age thing. Are you very young, OP? |
Married over 10 years
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soproud
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Mon, Dec 16 2024, 7:25 pm
Jewelry is personal.
I think it’s sweet and sentimental, though I personally would go for a bracelet or ring. (Unless your dh’s name is Yechezkel Matisyahu) 😉
Most importantly, please take your husband’s hesitation into account, not all of our opinions. (Except for mine)
Last edited by soproud on Mon, Dec 16 2024, 7:25 pm; edited 1 time in total
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amother
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Mon, Dec 16 2024, 7:25 pm
So many condescending responses.
My parents aren't weird, aren't overly openly affectionate, immature, strange, or anything and my mother has worn my father's name in her necklace for my entire life. (It's small and in a language I don't read but we always knew what it says.) It's only "dom" or "bdsm" or a "dog tag" or whatever if that's where your brain goes because of current culture.
If you like it, wear it. People will, at most, think about you a little, then move on with their lives because no one cares that much.
I think I would rather wear dh's name or initial on a necklace over my kids' names. I think wearing your kids names on a necklace is overbearing for a mother. I think it implies that the mother over identifies with her kids and sees them as extensions of herself. But that's just me lol.
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zaq
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Mon, Dec 16 2024, 7:44 pm
Brunette, I am not a billboard and don't wear things for people to read unless needed for ID purposes. That's why soldiers wear what Israelis call a diskit and Americans call dog tags--to ID an individual who is unable to ID himself because he's unconscious, in shock, or dead.
And I believe that wearing something with Hashem's name on it is disrespectful at best, sacrilegious at worst. You disagree, that's your prerogative.
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amother
DarkYellow
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Mon, Dec 16 2024, 7:47 pm
I voted yes but I should have done other. I wouldn’t do his name but I HAVE gotten a necklace with the first letter of everyone in my family’s names.
Something like this
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amother
Babypink
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Mon, Dec 16 2024, 7:51 pm
Only if it said “owned by___” 😈
It’s btw a thing in bdsm that women with a Dom wear a special necklace (collar) signaling to other men that she’s taken. There’s something very hot about that to me.
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amother
Rainbow
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Mon, Dec 16 2024, 7:53 pm
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I have a gold bangle with my husband and children's initials engraved on it. It's very subtle and only I notice it.
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zaq
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Mon, Dec 16 2024, 8:01 pm
[quote="amother Obsidian" I think wearing your kids names on a necklace is overbearing for a mother. I think it implies that the mother over identifies with her kids and sees them as extensions of herself.
[/quote] I beg to differ. I see it as a statement that "these are my jewels." *
What I view as over identification is dressing your kids to match your clothes and trying to get your kids to be carbon copies of you.
* Cornelia, widowed mother of two prominent Roman leaders, was quite poor. After a wealthy friend showed off her dazzling collection of gems and asked snidely if Cornelia was poor, the widow replied that she was not at all poor, then introduced her sons, saying "For these are my jewels."
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amother
Cherry
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Mon, Dec 16 2024, 8:26 pm
Wow, the responses here are so unnecessarily harsh!
I don’t think there’s anything immature or inappropriate about this idea. It’s just not a commonly worn thing in the frum world, so ppl aren’t familiar with it. That doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with it! I remember when the trend of wearing kids names/initials on necklaces started and I was confused at first. Then it became so standard that no one thinks twice about it.
OP, I think you can do whatever you like! There’s nothing inherently wrong with it in my opinion. Maybe it’s a little like “flirty” or PDA like someone else mentioned, but I don’t think it’s a big deal.
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amother
Aconite
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Mon, Dec 16 2024, 8:29 pm
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Depends on your community. Obviously OOT, Teaneck, and Williamsburg are going to answer differently here.
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amother
Calendula
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Mon, Dec 16 2024, 8:50 pm
Well, hopefully that number gives you some indication...
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DrMom
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Mon, Dec 16 2024, 9:58 pm
I wouldn't, for the following reasons:
- I don't even like to wear pendants with my own name on them. Why do I have to tell people my name? Seems like private information that I wouldn't want to broadcast to every stranger I encounter on a public bus.
- If I saw someone wearing a name necklace, my first thought would be that it was her own name, so it would be weird to see a women wearing a pendant that said, "Shmuel." Then I'd probably realize it was her husband's or boyfriend's name and think it was sweet, but maybe a little childish (like something a lovesick teenager would do).
- That being said, if you and your DH are still like lovesick teenagers, then that's great! Wear your necklace in good health.
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amother
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Mon, Dec 16 2024, 10:07 pm
| amother Babypink wrote: | Only if it said “owned by___” 😈
It’s btw a thing in bdsm that women with a Dom wear a special necklace (collar) signaling to other men that she’s taken. There’s something very hot about that to me. |
If it's a s-xual thing, then it's definitely inappropriate to wear it in public.
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imaima
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Mon, Dec 16 2024, 10:22 pm
It’s not tzniyus to me.
This level of devotion should be private.
Wearing engagement rings is a way that’s already established in the society
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amother
Hibiscus
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Mon, Dec 16 2024, 10:32 pm
| amother Obsidian wrote: | So many condescending responses.
My parents aren't weird, aren't overly openly affectionate, immature, strange, or anything and my mother has worn my father's name in her necklace for my entire life. (It's small and in a language I don't read but we always knew what it says.) It's only "dom" or "bdsm" or a "dog tag" or whatever if that's where your brain goes because of current culture.
If you like it, wear it. People will, at most, think about you a little, then move on with their lives because no one cares that much.
I think I would rather wear dh's name or initial on a necklace over my kids' names. I think wearing your kids names on a necklace is overbearing for a mother. I think it implies that the mother over identifies with her kids and sees them as extensions of herself. But that's just me lol. |
I think that mothers connection to her kids is timeless and transformative and the relationship between a man and a woman may end.
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amother
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Yesterday at 3:43 am
Lol how? (And why hopefully?)
Does everyone you know marry at the exact same age?
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Ruchel
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Yesterday at 4:09 am
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I've never heard of it. People could assume this is your kid. But why not!
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amother
Chestnut
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Yesterday at 1:40 pm
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Reminds me of The Simpsons when Homer buys his wife a bowling ball that says Homer on it for her birthday.
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