Do you work because you have to or because you want to?

wfac

Mon, Dec 16 2024, 12:25 pm

I'm only working because I have to, but I really hate my job! I'm currently looking for a new position; this is my fifth job since I graduated four years ago Rolling Eyes

. I'm still unsure about what I'm looking for, and I dread coming in every day. I wish I could leave! I've been married for just over a year, and my husband plans to stay in Kollel for the next few years, so I feel like I have no way out.

amother

↑ Cinnamon

Mon, Dec 16 2024, 12:27 pm

amother Cyan wrote:

Do the other options include the husband leaving kollel or his klei kodesh job?

It’s not specifically what I had in mind, but yes, the kollel scenario would fit well into the statement I made.

amother

Amber

Mon, Dec 16 2024, 12:28 pm

Didn't vote because it's multifaceted for me. I work very part time, twice a week and have a great social life at work. I don't make a lot at all but I do make nicely per hour so it's still worth it for me to work even 6-7 hours a week. But we can't rely on my income because it's not always steady. But dh definitely appreciates what I bring in cuz it's an extra cushion

amother

Ebony

Mon, Dec 16 2024, 12:36 pm

HonesttoGod wrote:

Both.

I have to - our finances are better with the additional income and we can spend/save more.

I want to - I can’t sit at home unproductively all day. Nothing gets done and I feel depressed.

Same. We would be fine on husband's salary but wouldn't have so much for extras and things would be more stressful

rkay

Mon, Dec 16 2024, 1:02 pm

Both. I work because I have to, but even if I wouldn't I don't think I would stop. But I would cut down a bit so I can have a little time at home when my kids are out for errands and stuff.

Hashem_Yaazor

Mon, Dec 16 2024, 2:42 pm

I've always had to work because of finances but I enjoy what I do and it energizes me so that spills over as well to making me a happier person which is crucial to the well being of my family.

amother

Aster

Mon, Dec 16 2024, 2:56 pm

Kind of both...DH BH makes enough for now, but I know we'll definitely need my salary once the kids start high school and we have bigger expenses. If I stay home till then my salary won't increase enough to be even close what we'll need for high school. BH I was able to take long maternity leaves with most of my kids, which I know was better for them but was rough for me because I missed adult conversation and I was kind of bored. I like my work because it's interesting. I wish I had a better part time option with my job though... I certainly would rather work less hours and be home earlier with my kids.

amother

Daphne

Yesterday at 8:53 am

amother Cinnamon wrote:

In my own personal life experience, and I will stress MY OWN EXPERIENCE, I have almost never encountered a mother of young children who works full time or close to full time who truly has zero other options. Very often, by making other sacrifices, they would technically be able to get by even if they worked less, but it is their personal preference not to make those sacrifices and instead they choose to work full time.

Are you including divorce as one of the sacrifices? Dh refused to get a job until I threatened to leave him after my second kid. I still always had to work part time after dh reluctantly took a job, but he keeps trying to pressure me to work full time. When I point out that someone has to be available for the school bus, he claims there are ways around it.

amother

NeonYellow

Yesterday at 10:16 am

Both. If I didn't need the money I would work only part time, but would still work. It's important for a woman to have her own income independent of her husband or parents. Besides which, working affords social contact, intellectual stimulation and a reason to get out of the house.