Omg I'm so grossed out!!!

amother

Razzmatazz ↓

Thu, Dec 12 2024, 10:37 pm

amother Hotpink wrote:

Same.

Although I hear calling an aunt "Tante" first . It's derech eretz.

This. It's impolite and disrespectful to call a person a generation older than you by their first name unless they specifically ask you to do so.

In some circles even married couples called each other Mr. and Mrs. Surname. (Things may have changed in recent years.) You may recall that Ellen O'Hara, Scarlett's mother, called her husband Mr. O'Hara. And I had a dr. who called his nurse just plain Mrs. Not Mrs. Surname, just Mrs. I found that irritating. Everyone knew she was his wife, since they lived in the neighborhood, so why be coy? Either call her by her given name, or call her Mrs. Surname. Just plain Mrs. sounded really dumb and tbh not all that respectful.

dena613

Thu, Dec 12 2024, 10:43 pm

My husband would refer to me as "my wife" when speaking to men, unless he's talking to a relative, (he's not really talking to women, but if someone knocks and I'm not available, he may use my name or say "my wife")
but he will address me by my name in front of others.

amother

↑ OP

Thu, Dec 12 2024, 10:53 pm

dena613 wrote:

That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying that halfway across the room at a simcha he's trying to call me... Hell say something like rebbetzin Schwartz....
If he's talking about me he'll say the same like your husband would....
I don't think this is so foreign

amother

↑ DarkGreen

Fri, Dec 13 2024, 12:07 am

Nope. I grew up Chassidish and I’m rebbish and did not have this growing up. My parents called each other by name. My grandparents only called each other “mommy, tatty, bubby, zaidy” in front of their kids or grandkids but I’ve definitely heard my grandfather referring to my grandmother by her first name to his or her siblings.
For that generation, great-uncles are Fette [first name] and Great-aunts are Mimeh [first name]. My parents siblings are all called bh their first names

amother

Oak

Fri, Dec 13 2024, 12:31 pm

Ironic how everyone is so quick to defend icky PDA (I don’t believe OP said anywhere that kissing in general was gross, it’s just overly PDA, making out in public that she considers to be gross). And I’m fully with her on this. A light kiss in public is perfectly fine, holding hands, hugging, no problem.

Fully making out?? Just because it gets thrust in our faces on the daily doesn’t make it less icky. I’m sorry but no one has the extreme need to fully make out right then and there in the street. We’re not talking teens here, were talking fully grown adults.

Also, how are we glossing over the different amother who’s teenaged daughter saw two adults having relations on a bench park? What happens if that became a normal occurrence? We’re all supposed to just be ok with it and look the other way?

And judging OP as to how her husband refers to her in public. I don’t do this but I find it rather sweet calling a spouse rebbetzin in an endearing way vs yelling her name across the room. Same with wives yelling to husbands. It could absolutely be a turnoff.

SuperWify

Fri, Dec 13 2024, 12:34 pm

amother OP wrote:

Certainly is foreign. And I know plenty of very yeshvish people but I have never heard of such a thing before reading this thread. Maybe they call their spouses mommy or tatty but Mrs or rebetzin I have never heard.

amother

↑ Razzmatazz

Sun, Dec 15 2024, 11:43 am

amother Oak wrote:

I find it rather sweet calling a spouse rebbetzin in an endearing way vs yelling her name across the room. Same with wives yelling to husbands. It could absolutely be a turnoff.

I find yelling anything across a room rather crude and demeaning, even if it's "Your Majesty." It's the yelling from afar, not the title or the name, that's low-class.

Exception: if it's a warning of danger. As in "Your Majesty (or Rivka) behind you! (There's an assailant wielding a weapon, or a wall about to collapse, or whatever.)"