Omg I'm so grossed out!!!

amother

↑ Seafoam ↓

Wed, Dec 11 2024, 1:43 pm

amother OP wrote:

I never knew till kallah classes that such things exist even in a bedroom so yes for me its gross

This explains everything.
This also explains why it’s so damaging to overshelter kids.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Dec 11 2024, 1:45 pm

amother Daylily wrote:

I’m just curious as to where you live that you were able to be so sheltered while growing up yet are currently so exposed like this on the streets. I’m not doubting you, it just feels inconsistent for a neighborhood.

lakewood

amother

↑ Dahlia ↓

Wed, Dec 11 2024, 1:45 pm

amother Seafoam wrote:

This explains everything.
This also explains why it’s so damaging to overshelter kids.

It also explains her extreme reaction to something so typically seen on the streets.

amother

Ghostwhite

Wed, Dec 11 2024, 2:02 pm

amother OP wrote:

I knew theres stuff thats considered to be innapropriate between couples and I shouldnt know about but I was never curious enough to look into it... didnt know abt sx either

That may be why you were so triggered. I highly doubt they were doing it on purpose to gross you out. They were just living their lives. I often hold hands with dh and it’s not to trigger or upset anyone, its just how we walk.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Dec 11 2024, 2:19 pm

amother Ghostwhite wrote:

Not gross but I feel weird when couples hold hands and get mushy in public
I was taught to never touch or call dhs name in public

amother

↑ Dahlia ↓

Wed, Dec 11 2024, 2:20 pm

amother OP wrote:

Not gross but I feel weird when couples hold hands and get mushy in public
I was taught to never touch or call dhs name in public

Why? Also just curious what type you are? You seem very sheltered

amother

Lightcyan ↓

Wed, Dec 11 2024, 2:23 pm

amother Seafoam wrote:

This explains everything.
This also explains why it’s so damaging to overshelter kids.

Yeah
I remember going on the subway in NYC and my mom would always say ich don't look when anyone kissed even a quick kiss.

And then I became a kallah and all of a sudden you need to get completely nkd and kiss and do even more stuff.

And then you have to unlearn all the things you learned if you want to have a satisfying zxual relationship. And it's not easy. It's painful.

Why do we call it ick? I don't get it.
What's gross about 2 people consensually kissing because they love each other? You don't like seeing it dont look. But why gross?? Please work through it op. Don't pass this attitude down to your kids. It's really harmful.

amother

↑ Lightcyan ↓

Wed, Dec 11 2024, 2:27 pm

amother Purple wrote:

I get it
It's also kinda sad though that it wasn't mentioned to you in the situation that you found yourselves in since you were with your parents

Why is it sad?

amother

Trillium

Wed, Dec 11 2024, 2:30 pm

I was once travelling by plane - a looooong flight, mind you - with a spare seat between me and a young woman. Who then promptly invited her boyfriend over and totally grossed me out by getting all over each other. I was a teenager at the time.
I would definitely use the term gross here...

↑ Bnei Berak 10

Wed, Dec 11 2024, 2:32 pm

OP, when we learned that the krovim in kodesh kodashim were embraced... The truth is they were united in the extreme position possible. Yes. Correct.
You need a better kallah teacher. Your way if calling kissing gross and your whole attitude to private life of a married couple isn't Yiddishkeit.

amother

Ecru

Wed, Dec 11 2024, 2:32 pm

stillnewlywed wrote:

I grew up in NYC, I probably wouldn't even notice

Men kissing, women kissing. It's not shocking but I still find it gross. I actually find all public kissing gross. I mean real kissing not just a quick kiss on the lips, a make out session. But same s-x kissing makes me nauseous. Sorry don't want to be homophobic it's just I can't help it.
It's supposed to be private. That's why it's gross. Why do it in front of strangers??

amother

Steelblue

Wed, Dec 11 2024, 2:39 pm

amother OP wrote:

Not gross but I feel weird when couples hold hands and get mushy in public
I was taught to never touch or call dhs name in public

This is new to me. Curious how many others do this?

I've heard about parents calling each other Mommy and Tatty in front of the kids but in public?

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Dec 11 2024, 2:40 pm

amother Dahlia wrote:

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Why? Also just curious what type you are? You seem very sheltered

It's not refined. At a Chanukah party or at a simcha my husband will say rebbetzin referring to me and if I need to call him I would send someone like my little brother to call him over even if he's just a few feet away

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Dec 11 2024, 2:42 pm

amother Steelblue wrote:

This is new to me. Curious how many others do this?

I've heard about parents calling each other Mommy and Tatty in front of the kids but in public?

Dh will get turned off when a cousin would yell across the room 'est! we have to go' at a family get together

↑ mizle10

Wed, Dec 11 2024, 2:44 pm

What?? Maybe we should just ignore our spouses all together in public, ch"v someone should know we interact.

amother

↑ Thistle ↓

Wed, Dec 11 2024, 2:44 pm

amother OP wrote:

Huh? That's weird.
How is it not refined to call each other's by their name?
Who taught you that it's not refined? So twisted.

amother

↑ Dahlia

Wed, Dec 11 2024, 2:44 pm

amother OP wrote:

Wow. I’ve heard many extreme things on this site but this I never heard of.

I’m actually working on remembering to call Dh ‘totty’ in front of the kids but that’s only because my 2 year old started to address him by name especially in public. We have no issue calling each other by name when the kids are not around.

Ps I’m chassidish if it matters