I'm so fed up with this student

amother

↑ Purple ↓

Yesterday at 7:51 pm

amother Steel wrote:

I hear your frustration.

What exactly do you expect the parents to do when they are not there to handle the behaviors? It sounds like they are doing the best they can (you mentioned medication) A Jewish child belongs in a Jewish school.

I have been on the other side of the fence as a parent.

I got calls almost every day about school issues and almost lost my job over it.

I was able to handle my son at home, but obviously wasn't in the classroom to address the behaviors.

I brought in numerous therapists and professionals to observe and consult with the school. They all said that my son should be in a typical classroom with accomodations. Unfortunately, the teacher was unskilled at implementing the accomodations and couldn't handle my child. Almost none of the suggested accomodations from the numerous professionals were implemented. A shadow (babysitter) hindered my child's progress, caused several issues, and he was also resentful. Not to mention the professionals we consulted with thought it was inappropriate for him. I spent many thousands of dollars that I didn't have getting outside services while we survived on rice and beans every night. I was almost ready to have him be the only white kid in the local public school system.

They years we had teachers that "clicked" with him we're fine.

I know this may not be helpful to you, but it's helpful to see things from the other side sometimes.

Sometimes, depending on what else is going on, the accommodations aren’t feasible. I have one kid who has an accommodation for music while she works. Problem is, another kid needs a silent classroom. Neither is willing to wear noise canceling headphones, and both parents will be mad if I say their kid is the one that has to.

I have another kid who has an accommodation that all work is read for him. Sounds great except I have close to 20 students and no assistant, and a special Ed teacher to help 5 kids comes once a week, on a good week. So if I read him his work, who’s running the rest of my reading groups? (And this is Hebrew so there’s no online support for it).

And my current one “ignore x behavior”. Sure. I can do that. But how are we getting all his classmates to ignore it?

amother

↑ OP ↓

Yesterday at 7:52 pm

amother Hosta wrote:

What are you complaining to the parents and principal about? Meaning what do you want to happen?

I want the child to have a shadow or a personal curriculum with their own books etc.. Everyone that is hired is fired by the child because she makes up lies about them. The last woman was so so lovely and the child threw a fit. Apparently last year the child claimed a shadow was molesting so the shadow would be fired. Turned out to be a huge lie.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Yesterday at 7:53 pm

CPenzias wrote:

Really? What was your experience?
Also, why aren't you teaching in public school? (I mean, if you did prior why did you go back to private? I'm just curious) it's year 14 for me and I'm not having the greatest year (it's not the worst but not the best)

That the school strong arms the parents into support and usually the parents take it because the school makes their lives impossible otherwise. Not saying I agree with the tactics but here we can't do that because there is no support to give. This child desperately needs help.

↑ CPenzias

Yesterday at 8:03 pm

amother OP wrote:

That didn't happen in my experience. The school tried, parents wouldn't accept a more restrictive (appropriate) setting. My life as the teacher was a living he!! With this poor kid. I would cry because I couldn't get him to do anything I wanted or needed. (I think adhd and odd) in kindergarten. He was throwing things, climbing, jumping, running out of the room etc etc. Really hard. I decided to laugh when he did things instead of cry. The whole atmosphere in the room changed. We were happy (he still didn't learn but the other kids did)
It was a hard year. Probably my hardest but what doesn't kill you makes you stronger

amother

Celeste ↓

Yesterday at 8:10 pm

My friend's daughter is the impossible one in the classroom.

The school wants her to switch to a different school, claiming that they can't help her. The problem is that they obviously don't care what's better for the girl, but what's easier for them. The other school is even less equipped to help her.

My friend is spending money she doesn't have on therapy, and hours facilitating conversations with the school and the therapists (that the school doesn't take into account anyhow). She isn't easy at home either, and my friend is already drained from that. The school doesn't seem to put in any effort to make things work better for her, and excludes her from the only activities she would actually succeed in.

I feel bad for the teacher, this is really not an easy student, but I feel much much worse for my friend.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Yesterday at 8:21 pm

amother Turquoise wrote:

Does the parent give a reason? My dd is embarrassed to have a shadow although we are still considering it, and put up a fuss at the idea of a special ed school. It’s a shame because she would’ve done better in a more laid back school but it’s impossible to get into schools where we live.

" The child doesn't belong in a special Ed school or program" (I even suggested a parallel classroom etc.) Won't hear of it. Everyone in the entire school agrees the child needs it. Issues from day 1. All the teachers that have had this child recognize the host of issues and the parents just say all of the teachers are at fault.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Yesterday at 8:22 pm

amother Celeste wrote:

The school and myself have gone above and beyond. Everyone agrees with that. Nothing is good enough for this child. It's such a sad and desperate situation.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Yesterday at 8:31 pm

CPenzias wrote:

Oh no! That is so hard!!! But at least in K they are still little and the differences aren't as profound. The child I am speaking about is mid elementary and can read and write on a K level in English and has no aleph beis skills. It's so sad.

amother

Marigold

Yesterday at 8:52 pm

amother OP wrote:

I have a student who is so incredibly far behind academically, also has a host of diagnoses and my other students cannot stand them. They come to school a total mess. I have complained endlessly to the principal and the parents. Nothing is done. Parents were nasty to me when I offered sincere solutions. Child does whatever they want at school and is basically a zombie half the day from medication. I don't understand how this is legal? If this was a public school the child would be forced to be in a special Ed situation and actually get the help they need. I'm at my wits end and it's only December! I have no time to give special attention. I have other students who actually need to work through the material and have the ability to do it. Principal refuses to give the parents an ultimatum and quite frankly I'm ready to quit.

Tell them what you need in order to stay
A,b,c.

It works! If they want you bad enough,they will accomodate

amother

Aqua

Yesterday at 8:59 pm

amother OP wrote:

Didn't read through the thread, so hope I'm not going to be repetitious. I had a similar situation one year and was so fed up. At first, my principal didn't get it, saying that there's nothing to do. I explained to her nicely, (many times!) that I'm not complaining about this child or judging the parents in any way. I let her know there is no way I can run a classroom without this girl having a para or someone giving me guidance how to deal with such a challenging student. At first, the principal wasn't interested to do anything about, saying that I'd understand if I'd have a challenging child of my own. I let her know that it's not fair for the other students, myself and the child that is suffering the most from not fitting in.

It wasn't about, "Get this student out of my classroom."
It was, "There is a big problem that needs to be addressed. I have a very challenging student that isn't doing well, she needs help and it's affecting her, the other students and myself as the teacher. I cannot continue teaching without some intervention."

If you really mean what you're saying and you want the best for all students, especially this one, hopefully your principal can hear you and make a change. For me it took many tries until the child got a para that came almost daily. It made a huge difference for everyone! I was finally able to see and compliment this student and help her flourish instead of being irked by the limitations that were disrupting my classroom.

Getting a child proper help in a classroom setting benefits the child way more than the teacher and classmates. Their self confidence shoots up when their needs are addressed.

Wishing you much hatzlacha and hope your student gets the help they need!

amother

↑ Purple ↓

Yesterday at 9:04 pm

amother Dodgerblue wrote:

I get that your frustrated and u may be right that the child should be elsewhere but it sounds like you washed your hands of this child. What are you implementing to try to make the situation better. I think its time to accept that the child is here to stay. What can you do to try to make a tiny difference in this child’s life?

Sometimes we get so frustrated because our classroom is not the best place for this child. This child is just falling more and more behind and getting more and more frustrated, and lowering the entire level of the classroom, which isn’t fair to everyone else. As I said to a parent last week “when I work with him 1:1 , he can do xyz. The problem is I can only do that 15 minutes a week. And the rest of the time he’s lost and bored and making trouble. “ the kid doesn’t have any independent work skills, and he can’t do what I’m working on with everyone else. What should I be having him do so he’s not bored? I have one kid with a shadow who just plays video games all day - I was told to just let him, but then everyone gets mad “why does he get to play games while we have to work?” Honestly, I would love ideas for him.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Yesterday at 9:37 pm

amother Purple wrote:

Oy that's so sad. Video games all day? What's the point of him being there?