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amother
  DarkKhaki


 

Post Mon, Dec 02 2024, 9:42 pm
amother OP wrote:
Dh left biglaw and went in house a few years ago. Was just unsustainable. Too many all nighters and insane partners. But now we feel like maybe the field isn’t worth it for a man if you’re not going to go big law partner route. In house is amazing for female lawyers who are moms and are looking for life balance but the money isn’t really enough if your the main breadwinner.

How much is your husband making now?
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amother
Green  


 

Post Mon, Dec 02 2024, 9:45 pm
amother OP wrote:
Dh left biglaw and went in house a few years ago. Was just unsustainable. Too many all nighters and insane partners. But now we feel like maybe the field isn’t worth it for a man if you’re not going to go big law partner route. In house is amazing for female lawyers who are moms and are looking for life balance but the money isn’t really enough if your the main breadwinner.


What about him opening his own business?
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amother
Hotpink


 

Post Mon, Dec 02 2024, 10:01 pm
Dh never was interested in big law or even law
doesn't practice law just went to law school to get a good paying job
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amother
  Green  


 

Post Mon, Dec 02 2024, 10:11 pm
amother Hotpink wrote:
Dh never was interested in big law or even law
doesn't practice law just went to law school to get a good paying job


What does he do?
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amother
Ultramarine


 

Post Tue, Dec 03 2024, 3:20 pm
Was going to say most frum people I know do big law for a bunch of years to cover the loans and buy a house, and then open there own practice.

The money is better then in house, and there is less pressure then Big law, you can take less clients at stressful times.....
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amother
  OP  


 

Post Tue, Dec 03 2024, 4:57 pm
amother Ultramarine wrote:
Was going to say most frum people I know do big law for a bunch of years to cover the loans and buy a house, and then open there own practice.

The money is better then in house, and there is less pressure then Big law, you can take less clients at stressful times.....


I know almost no one who was in big law who voluntarily left to open a private practice. Usually it’s because they have no other option (ie termination with no other offers). It’s a lot of money to leave on the table-and it takes a lot of time to build up your practice. also biglaw work like m & a litigation or securitization rarely translates to hanging up your own shingle. You would be extremely overqualified.
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amother
Latte  


 

Post Tue, Dec 03 2024, 5:10 pm
DH is in Big law. NYC. Made partner 7 years in. BH very very high salary. Hours are insane and always have been. 12-14 hour workdays are normal. Motz Shabbos and Sunday too. Never really off, even when officially “on vacation “ , always has work to do and people to answer to (in the early days it was the partners , now it’s the big clients directly ). Constant stress. DH and I are grateful for his job , BH we can buy what we need and help our marrieds and our siblings . And give a lot of tzedakah. Just realize there is a cost to everything, big law salary by definition comes with big law expectations on life.
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amother
  Green


 

Post Tue, Dec 03 2024, 5:10 pm
amother Latte wrote:
DH is in Big law. NYC. Made partner 7 years in. BH very very high salary. Hours are insane and always have been. 12-14 hour workdays are normal. Motz Shabbos and Sunday too. Never really off, even when officially “on vacation “ , always has work to do and people to answer to (in the early days it was the partners , now it’s the big clients directly ). Constant stress. DH and I are grateful for his job , BH we can buy what we need and help our marrieds and our siblings . And give a lot of tzedakah. Just realize there is a cost to everything, big law salary by definition comes with big law expectations on life.


Wow

Sounds like a lot

Did he ever consider going out on his own?
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amother
  Latte  


 

Post Tue, Dec 03 2024, 5:12 pm
amother Green wrote:
Wow

Sounds like a lot

Did he ever consider going out on his own?

His experience and expertise is not transferable to going out on his own. Clients are huge companies who need big law firms.
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amother
Blushpink


 

Post Tue, Dec 03 2024, 5:16 pm
My mom is counsel at big law. No idea how much she makes but yes definitely works till the last minute Friday and then logs back on right after Shabbos. Pulls all nighters etc

I don't know how people do it

She looked into going in house at one point but ultimately decided that it was a career dead end and she would also lose her flexibility (but the flexibility comes along with never truly being off)
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amother
  Latte


 

Post Tue, Dec 03 2024, 5:16 pm
Another important point to be aware of is the extremely high tax rate.
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amother
  Mulberry


 

Post Tue, Dec 03 2024, 5:17 pm
amother Maize wrote:
I mean doesn't a bunch of your salary go.to tax too,


With bonuses half go to tax off the bat. It’s not as extreme with your salary
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amother
  OP  


 

Post Tue, Dec 03 2024, 5:18 pm
amother Latte wrote:
Another important point to be aware of is the extremely high tax rate.


lol it’s for anyone who makes a lot of money. When you’re driven it’s hardly a deterrent.
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amother
  OP


 

Post Tue, Dec 03 2024, 5:21 pm
amother Latte wrote:
DH is in Big law. NYC. Made partner 7 years in. BH very very high salary. Hours are insane and always have been. 12-14 hour workdays are normal. Motz Shabbos and Sunday too. Never really off, even when officially “on vacation “ , always has work to do and people to answer to (in the early days it was the partners , now it’s the big clients directly ). Constant stress. DH and I are grateful for his job , BH we can buy what we need and help our marrieds and our siblings . And give a lot of tzedakah. Just realize there is a cost to everything, big law salary by definition comes with big law expectations on life.


Dh left the firm he was in because the pressure was just too much. It was unsustainable. He ultimately got hired by his secondment and has been in house since then. Great hours and benefits. Bh we have evenings and weekends. He’s at the top of the band for in house (above 500k) but there’s not much more that he can achieve at this level. It’s hard to know at the stage of life we’re in (children starting shidduchim) if he made the right move. And by that I mean going to law school in the first place. I guess it’s all bashert but I wonder if all the hard work was worth the effort.
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amother
Teal


 

Post Tue, Dec 03 2024, 5:28 pm
amother OP wrote:
Dh left the firm he was in because the pressure was just too much. It was unsustainable. He ultimately got hired by his secondment and has been in house since then. Great hours and benefits. Bh we have evenings and weekends. He’s at the top of the band for in house (above 500k) but there’s not much more that he can achieve at this level. It’s hard to know at the stage of life we’re in (children starting shidduchim) if he made the right move. And by that I mean going to law school in the first place. I guess it’s all bashert but I wonder if all the hard work was worth the effort.

Your dh makes over 500k and you say it's not enough for a main breadwinner?
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amother
Forestgreen  


 

Post Tue, Dec 03 2024, 6:25 pm
amother OP wrote:
I know almost no one who was in big law who voluntarily left to open a private practice. Usually it’s because they have no other option (ie termination with no other offers). It’s a lot of money to leave on the table-and it takes a lot of time to build up your practice. also biglaw work like m & a litigation or securitization rarely translates to hanging up your own shingle. You would be extremely overqualified.


Those are specific areas of law that are harder to transfer to opening your own firm.
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amother
  Forestgreen


 

Post Tue, Dec 03 2024, 6:49 pm
I'm a solo. Flexibility is amazing. I believe my income could be increased if I put effort into marketing and building a practice. As it is, I've never done self-promotion.
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amother
Myrtle


 

Post Tue, Dec 03 2024, 6:50 pm
My husband went to big law right after law school. Pushed through it for 7/8 years then and switched to a big 4 and made partner after a few years. That was part of the plan, and he was on a partner track. BH BH makes very good income, higher then counsel at big law and as much as some big law partners


Large OOT city.

Hatzlacha!
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amother
Iris


 

Post Tue, Dec 03 2024, 9:12 pm
Lawyer at a public interest firm. I make a fraction of the stated salaries and work very hard. However, I am passionate about my work. I get reasonable vacation time and decent benefits. Weekend work is rare, but I often work 10 or 11 hour days. There are definitely pros to this type of work, but it would be nice to make more money and to feel passionate about the work.
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amother
  Hosta


 

Post Wed, Dec 04 2024, 7:56 pm
amother DarkYellow wrote:
I’m not the ima you were asking but in general NY BigLaw jobs have long unpredictable hours. 12 hour days + commute is common. Working on the weekends is almost expected.


Love how everyone assumes it’s my husband. It’s actually me Wink

A lot of hours. Not an easy life. But the pay is very good so it’s hard to leave.
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