ATTN: Bosses re: gifts and holiday parties

amother

↑ Chicory ↓

Today at 1:59 pm

amother OP wrote:

Yes. To over the top parties even during work hours.

To an employee who is really struggling, these over the top gatherings are painful!

I’m not referring to salad, sushi, sandwiches. I was clear on that I thought. So I’m saying it again.

Even $300 from petty cash to hand over to an uber driver and babysitter - it’s screaming “my company has so much excess, we can throw it at uber for a splashy party”.

Lunches to get to know your employees? Great!
Over the top events that rub the boss’s huge wallets in the employees faces? No thanks.

So I shouldn't make sure my employees get home safely, easily at night after a mandatory business event? And I shouldn't cover their babysitter costs because- why? Because to do so means I have more money than them? Well, yes- I own the company and earn more. But I also try to be generous. If that was the only holiday bonus, shame on me. But it's not. Even my lowest employee gets a nice check. An intern who was with us for 3 months got a $750 bonus. I'm not flashing my wallet at my employees- I'm trying to show them I care and want to mitigate their costs for mandatory attendance. I can do what others have done and provide no offset but that's not how I do things. You seem very bitter about your work environment and/or the job itself. Perhaps it's the comp that's not to your liking. But it's wrong to paint everyone with the same unhappy brush and make employers like me question if it's worth it at all.

amother

↑ OP

Today at 2:19 pm

amother Chicory wrote:

Please help me understand. Why are you making a party mandatory in the first place?

amother

↑ Chicory ↓

Today at 2:25 pm

amother OP wrote:

Please help me understand. Why are you making a party mandatory in the first place?

Because some years, it's necessary for business. We invite our referral sources and clients, host a fancy night and ask our employees to attend. It's important for the continued success of our business to be seen and for clients to know we're people too. It's once a year and not even every one. Maybe every other year since Covid. Employees are an integral part of our platform and should attend. If someone really can't attend, we make allowances but honestly, we know when it's just an excuse and you won't last long at our company. We want employees who want to be here. Who are proud to be a part of what we do and that matter, on every level. So yes, we offset and try to make it easier by giving a day off and send people home in Ubers (and not on a train at night!) And yes, we cover babysitters. Spouses are welcome to attend too so some treat it like a good networking opportunity for their husband or wife to find a lateral position and others, a nice date night. There's nothing wrong with killing multiple birds with one stone.

HonesttoGod

Today at 3:29 pm

Speak for yourself op.
I loved my previous employer parties.
I worked all day with these guys and we wanted to chill together not just slog over computer screens all day.

And uber and babysitting money? That’s literally a dream!

My husband owns a company. It’s a tiny one but he still organizes an employee night out at least once a year. And it’s an expense. And he wouldn’t necessarily do it but it’s important on a team building level. If one of his employees skipped it he’d be upset because it shows they’re not a team player. There’s a lot to be said on how employees get along with each outside of business hours.

kenz

Today at 3:56 pm

amother Chicory wrote:

Are you hiring?

amother

↑ Broom

Today at 4:03 pm

HonesttoGod wrote:

Does it really always mean this?
I’m at my place for 8 years, got promoted 4 times. I’m currently director and manager over a team of 4. I believe I’m a great team player yet I hate our work parties.
Granted, I don’t even know many of my co workers, we work in different departments so it’s just a night out with lots of small talk which always leaves me so exhausted.
I go to sleep early usually plus I really don’t enjoy socializing with people I don’t know well.
I don’t know why part of being a team player means attending after hour parties that don’t work well for many people, especially introverts like me.

amother

↑ Nectarine

Today at 4:23 pm

amother OP wrote:

Hard disagree

As long as I’m being paid decent to well, if the company wants to spend money on me I’m happy to enjoy!
Its not like they’re going use the money to pay for my tuition instead lol
Let them be generous

amother

Oxfordblue

Today at 4:30 pm

Party during work hours? I’m all in.
Party at night?
Count me out. I can barely make it to family events. I need my evenings to unwind, spend time with kids, clean up, etc.
I can’t get a babysitter because I have teen boys who go to night Seder. So they are not home to babysit, but come home 9:45. Which mother of a teen girl wants to send her daughter to babysit by me until 9:45, at which point my teen son will come home and send her home in an Uber?
Yah, no babysitter here unfortunately until my DD is old enough to babysit. So paying for a babysitter is not helpful.

And yes, I’ve been to work events where the boss paid 20k for the party that lasted 4 hours, but I couldn’t afford some bills that month. Shall we say I felt like I was eating my bonus?
I’d definitely have preferred a cash bonus. If the boss already gave a bonus, that’s fine, they can throw a bash. But if I know my boss billed 400k for my clients alone, and my salary was $65k for the year (part time job), yeh, I’ll be pissed at the $250 bonus/year I got. The boss can keep that. It’s an insult.
So I left. And opened up on my own. And haven’t looked back.

amother

Mintgreen

Today at 4:40 pm

amother Apricot wrote:

Gifts can be a write off. Bonuses aren't. They're also taxed on both employer and employee end if done legally.
That being said, I agree 100%. I prefer the cash or Amazon gift card over the physical gift any day. I can handle the after hours party once a year. But more than that should not be an expectation.
A party during work hours is fine. I'm expected to be working and if my boss rather I socialize than work I'm OK with that. But I can see it being an issue for someone who's work may pile up or may cause stress nearing a deadline. I don't have time sensitive work so if I take 2 hours out of my day it won't really set me back

Our holiday gifts are taxed. (Thankfully our employer covers it)

amother

Acacia

Today at 4:42 pm

amother Oxfordblue wrote:

This this this. The bosses on here who sound defensive - is your love language acts of service or gifts - and are you an extrovert? Because it’s one thing if your attitude is - “We need this party as networking to bring in more clients, I know some staff enjoy it and some won’t, I appreciate everyone who comes, and here is some $$ to offset babysitting and a ride home, and you get a day off to compensate you for the hours spent out at night” vs. “ I’m doing something nice for you and how dare you not appreciate it and be jumping for joy!” The first makes sense from a business angle, the second takes an employee’s lack of “party-dom” personally and creates negativity where there doesn't need to be any. Someone resenting losing an evening, especially if they are then tight on time for things they need to be doing at home (or if their work piles up because time they would spend on work tasks then gets used on a party), in no way means they are “not a team player.” It’s really OK for someone to not enjoy nighttime parties and events. It doesn’t mean they don’t like you or working for you. It just means that the timing and forced socialization and resulting exhaustion, disruption to their children’s routine, etc. is difficult for them, and they are allowed to feel unhappy about it. You don’t have to take their upset as an affront. If you really want to make sure your employees feel appreciated maybe see how you can adapt your networking events to better accommodate your employees, if possible.

ETA it also makes a difference if you compensate employees well and show appreciation for what they do. I am much more likely to attend a work event with a good feeling if it’s the big boss who is kind and values me as part of the team, versus a party mandated by my direct manager, who nitpicks and micromanages and is never satisfied with my work.

amother

↑ Chicory

Today at 4:46 pm

amother Oxfordblue wrote:

So it sounds like you weren't properly compensated. My firm holds to a rule of 1/3rds. You are paid 1/3rd of what we collect from your efforts. We have a base salary with set hours and then at year end (or mid-year, if your figures require adjustment), you are made whole based on collections. A part-time employee at my firm that bills and we collect 400k off of would be paid 120k as a base and the rest as a year end bonus. We'd probably have a conversation about increasing your hours and starting pay the following year. Of course it's insulting to get a $250 bonus in such circumstances! I'm glad you went off on your own. It sounds like a much better fit than working for that prior employer.