To my child’s teacher

BH Yom Yom

Today at 12:47 pm

OP, firstly - refuah sheleimah to you with no more agmas nefesh! I’m so sorry for what you’re dealing with.

Secondly - I’m beyond appalled at the sheer nastiness of that teacher. There is absolutely no excuse for that type of behavior. Please make sure the board of directors/HR department/school’s Rav are aware of this. The woman sounds like an abusive nutcase. I am glad to hear that overall the school is doing a good job, but this type of rotten behavior from a teacher can undermine any frum school’s attempts to give over our mesorah.

Hatzlocha rabbah and I hope you are off the ventilator soon and have a full refuah b’karov. Your DD is lucky to have you!

thatworn ↓

Today at 1:47 pm

amother OP wrote:

It’s unfortunately very real.
I changed the wording and a few lines so it wasn’t obvious what school this is and my daughters details of her adhd/ learning disability, but basically the teacher decided my daughter has spent all year looking for excuses and that this is just another convenient excuse that she is trying .
The teacher also believes adhd is because she isn’t disciplined.
I am tempted to ask about taking her out. I can’t imagine the frustration of dealing with a teacher who thinks a mother being not able to breathe snd and possibly end of life is just being used an excuse.
(My daughter is medicated but by last period of day it can start to wear off but regardless she is not a behavioral kid at all, just a little impulsive , executive functioning challenges, etc. ).

OP, forget your daughter's diagnoses for a bit. Even without a diagnosis, even if the teacher has some odd thought that your daughter has spent all year looking for excuses, even if your daughter were the most obnoxious, spoilt brat on the face of the universe (which she is NOT), if her mother is on a ventilator and possibly at end of life (beH til 120), then let every single assignment slide, let her have school as her safe haven and give her love, rather than abuse. This "teacher" needs to be ousted, pronto. The school needs to take your daughter's needs into account, so that she can stay as a functional pre teen and continue growing into a functional adult. The needs are not academic at present, they are purely emotional, and the school must deal with that. Is there someone in yor family or community who can advocate for her?

amother

↑ OP ↓

Today at 2:06 pm

Update: they moved my daughter out of this teachers class and spoke to the teacher (sounds like first they spoke and then the teacher wasn’t willing to have a kid in her class who doesn’t have to do homework, said it affects classroom discipline, atmosphere, work ethic when you have kids not responsible for somethings, etc so they just said fine we will switch her to the other class for this subject). The principal sent out a memo to all the teachers (and cc’d me) that my daughter is not to be held responsible for any work from outside school right now and that things are critical and can go in either direction and all she should be receiving is understanding and worrying about her emotional health . Hopefully the rest of the teachers will listen. It’s so hard when you want to fix everything for your kids and you just can’t.

amother

Nectarine

Today at 2:10 pm

amother OP wrote:

That teacher is disgusting. What about teaching to be empathy and chesed? I am glad it got sorted out OP.
Refuah sheleima!

amother

↑ OP

Today at 2:12 pm

thatworn wrote:

Chai Lifeline did send a social worker to speak to the teachers and answered questions about how to deal with my kids and especially her as the oldest who has more on their plate than the younger kids. They also are available to speak to staff with any questions or needs that arise.
We have also had a rav speak to my son’s schools and advocate for them.
My daughter is a sweet good kid, she has a lot of energy and can be emotional at times but I don’t think she is disruptive at all, just sometimes asking for short walking breaks or not paying attention / completing all of her work.
It does make me feel a lot better that everyone agrees with me that this teacher was way out of line.

↑ thatworn

Today at 2:16 pm

amother OP wrote:

This is why having a good, strong, loving community helps with providing the best outcomes for our children, It takes a village to raise them.
BeH the rest of the teachers will listen!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BH you were able to make contact with principal.
Please focus on getting better and know that so many people who do not know you are davenning for you and your family!!!!!!!!!!! refua shelema!!!!!!!!!!!!

imasinger

Today at 2:16 pm

amother OP wrote:

I'm glad to read that the administration is doing the right thing. This teacher made more than one very bad mistake, and in the end, it's probably hashgacha pratis that your DD is out of her class.

Refuah shleima, Supermom!

amother

Rainbow

Today at 2:17 pm

You know what? You should print out all of these messages that support you and send it to that whack job in the mail so she can see what people think of her stance. What a horrible story. And you know what else? You should send it to the principal too. She should be ashamed of giving in to that old witch, she should be fired. Your daughter shouldn't have had to switch. Insanity.. The sad thing is that I'm not surprised...
Sincerely wishing you a refuah sheleima.

amother

Arcticblue

Today at 2:23 pm

amother Rainbow wrote:

Exactly.
OP has limited energy so of course shes focused on her daughter.
But I can't help but feel bad for all the other girls in the class who will be punished for not handling in their homework.
The girl whose mother had a baby.
The girl whose sibling had surgery - even something basic like tonsils or appendix.
The girl whose brother was rushed to the emergency room with a broken bone or severe bleeding.
You know regular life.

amother

↑ Dimgray

Today at 2:45 pm

amother Celeste wrote:

My dab lecaf zechus for this teacher is that she is having early onset dementia

Regardless, she should be removed from contact with children. Let her do medical billing or something that does not involve neshamos.

That’s really the only possible DLKZ here. I can’t understand why she isn’t being replaced. If they really can’t find anyone then cancel the class.

amother

Aster

Today at 3:16 pm

On top of everything else, the teacher's claim that it affects classroom discipline is ridiculous. All other students understand that they have to do their work even if someone else in a trying situation gets a pass. When I was in fifth grade, a classmate's father had a stroke out of nowhere at age 34. Everyone understood that it made sense for this girl to take advantage of the flexibility they gave her. None of us were jealous, all of us understood that it made sense, and none of us used that as an excuse not to do our own work. We all understood this, at age 10.