If your dd is or was in 6-8 grade since 2020

amother

↑ OP

Today at 5:51 am

My dd is in 6-8 grade. I was in 6-8 grade around 1999-2002.

I remember not liking my English teacher sixth grade, but I definitely cooperated. The principal was one you didn't want to mess with!!!
7th-8th I had a kodesh teacher I didn't love, didn't hate, had an afternoon teacher I didn't love, and an afternoon teacher who was brilliant and I liked her, but she was a little scary Very Happy

My attitude towards the class was probably a little different for each one, but I do NOT remember my class just talking away and laughing as the teacher was trying to teach.

Fast forward to 2024, the girls in dds class (including DD Sad

) are just talking right through class.

I'm trying to instill in her that its wrong, it is disrespectful, it's hurtful to the teacher, that she's better than that.... And she knows it, but it's really hard when everyone is out of control.

She wants me to be like her friends' mothers who laugh at their misbehavior.
I'm not perfect. I laugh at how pathetically the hanhala is handling things, but I don't laugh at the misbehavior.

Frustrating.

amother

Peru

Today at 5:51 am

Kids will get away with anything you allow them to get away with.
These days teachers and principals do not hold kids responsible for their actions.
My 10th grader talks straight through class. I tell the teachers to give her a consequence, a writing assignment, mark her absent. They're shocked that I talk this way. I cannot control my daughter's behavior while she's in school. Until they are ready to hold her accountable, she will continue to talk through class.

amother

Lightpink

Today at 5:55 am

amother Coral wrote:

Chutzpah in all forms always existed.
Kids will try anything. It’s the attitude of respect- self respect and respect to others that has changed drastically.

I think that in the past, there was outright chutzpah. Most teachers had control but the ones who didn't, would have to deal with pranks, humiliation, and open rebellion.

Today, thankfully pranks and rebellions don't really occur, but many teachers- more than in the past- are simply disrespected. The girls just talk through class, have a comment for everything, and don't take the rules seriously. It doesn't help that there are parents who will get really upset when classroom rules are enforced. My daughter teaches 6th grade and several mothers called the principal to complain that she marks down girls who talk. Like, how dare she!

tweety1

Today at 5:55 am

The chutzpah that goes on is on a level that's not comprehensible.
The parties that go on there, ice cream parties, coffee stations, pizza bars, the kids have a grand time in school. While I'm happy my girls are enjoying themselves it wasn't like this when I was in school.
For my girls it's only high school. Elementary even high Elementary is very much under control. High school is flying colors.

amother

Steel

Today at 6:35 am

I have a daughter in 6th grade.
It’s not even Chanukah. And one kid was already suspended for a few days
Another kid was kicked out for a few days.
Multiple girls were sent to the principals office countless times.

I have a different issue. My daughter is a real goody 2 shoes. The amount of derech eretz she has is astounding to see. And the teacher sat her in a seat surrounded by girls who talk. Pass notes. Play in class. And she has asked the teacher many times to change her seat. When the teacher asks her why she tells her the truth. The girls are really disturbing her. But her teacher refuses to change her seat. The next step is me calling the teacher. She hasn’t answered my call yet when I tried calling.

amother

Navy

Today at 6:40 am

Hs teacher here -Attention spans have definitely gotten much much shorter, almost like my 3 year olds. There’s much less intuitive thinking or ability to analyze. It’s spit back or blank stares. There’s much more complaining about anything that will push them to think/ work a bit. It makes me sad for them and for my kids futures.
I don’t know if it’s covid specifically or just increase in screen time etc in general.

amother

Slateblue

Today at 6:49 am

I have to say, sadly so, that I’m somewhat comforted by this thread. At least I know it’s not just by me! That I didn’t make a huge mistake with our choice of school. I’m shocked that my 9th grade daughter thinks it’s normal that the girls talk straight through class. I always tell her that I hope she’s not one of them because that is so hurtful to the teacher. This is in a very well established, solid, good school.
Have the standards really gone down? What has happened?
I also need to ask, do you find that this chutzpah level is brought home? My daughter used to be such a good girl. Truth is, she’s still a good girl but her chutzpah level, at home, is through the roof!!! I feel like she’s picking it up from the other girls, wouldn’t dare behave that way in school, but brings it home instead.

chefcorn

Today at 7:00 am

amother OP wrote:

My daughter mentioned that one of her teachers has a chaotic classroom where students talk and throw paper airplanes during lessons. I tried all the strategies you suggested, but nothing worked—she didn’t want to miss out on the fun.

To encourage better behavior, I promised her a gift at the end of each month if she sits quietly and doesn’t join in the disruptions. She’s choosing the gifts—things she really wants but I wouldn’t buy otherwise, like a blow dryer, Hard Tail cardigan, or perfume. If she behaves through Chanukah without a single disruption, she’ll get a Michele watch. Over time, I plan to point out that if she can behave with rewards, she’s capable of doing it without them too.

amother

Gladiolus ↓

Today at 8:22 am

I don’t think this has to do with Covid. It’s the generational change. When I was in school, everyone was afraid of the principal. We were afraid of most teachers too. If we saw a teacher walk by, we immediately stood straighter, were quieter , etc. The teachers didn’t stand for chutzpah. When there was a substitute or a teacher who was less strict, more playful, the class did act out, but it was maybe 1-2 teachers every other year. Now, the girls treat the principal like a buddy and are happy to go chill in the principals office. The whole attitude has changed and I think the schools are losing control and having a very hard time.

amother

↑ Purple ↓

Today at 8:33 am

amother Gladiolus wrote:

Because our principals were downright abusive. I’m happy to hear girls aren’t living in fear anymore.

amother

↑ Freesia

Today at 9:22 am

amother Gladiolus wrote:

My dd has the same principals that I had as a kid! And they are respected and feared by the girls. There are just many girls with huge behavior issues.

amother

Iris

Today at 9:45 am

amother Gladiolus wrote:

What’s causing the increase in the behavior issues?

One thing I have been seeing a lot is that many of us in unhealthily authoritative homes and too many have reacted by totally spoiling and not parenting at all. They dont get that boundries are healthy and can be enforced in an in tuned and healthy way, and instead dont do anything or just brbe to get the kids to listen.

I also think that the food we eat has gotten a lot worse, with gmo's, hormones, chemicals and preservatives.

But the worst is the screen time, it totally destroys kids attention spans and regulation, and everyone used more screen time then optimal during covid even if they have cut down since.