6 y/o ds hurts younger sibling - how to deal

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amother

OP ↓

Yesterday at 9:55 am

My 6 yo is generally a good kid, follows rules, doesn’t start up, wants to do the right thing… except for when it comes to his younger brother. Somehow another side comes out where he’s constantly hurting him on purpose, sometimes because he’s upset but many times unprovoked. We keep telling him that he needs to use his words and tell us if younger sibling is bother him but he doesn’t listen, just hurts. In general we never have to punish him because he really is a good kid. How do we approach this so that he stops hurting him all the time?

amother

↑ OP ↓

Yesterday at 12:08 pm

Bump

amother

↑ OP ↓

Today at 11:34 am

Please really need advice!

amother

Leaf

Today at 11:41 am

How old is his younger sibling?

amother

↑ OP

Today at 11:42 am

amother Leaf wrote:

How old is his younger sibling?

amother

Taupe

Today at 11:59 am

I had similar issue with my kids and a friend told me to catch the older one being kind...using words...and reward. It worked like magic. After 2 weeks my older one completely stopped fighting . I was stuck in the negative constantly saying "you can't do this" you havta use words"... I called over my older one and said, you are my mature ,smart,(name)squeeze,hug,kiss....
Because you're so big and I've seen you play with younger sibling so nicely, every time I'm soo proud of you I'll do this secret motion, wink etc. and you'll get a penny in cup on counter. After 10 reward. It was so easy and helped the child get out of the pattern . I focused only on positive and gave him tons of attention by winking and high fives throughout the day. Good luck!!!

amother

Geranium

Today at 12:43 pm

I have something similar with my 7 year old. Best thing that worked for me is playing rough and tumble with him. It's exhausting and it can last for a very long time but so far that was my best solution.

AlwaysGrateful

Today at 1:43 pm

Can you figure out what his triggers are? Is it when his little brother grabs something from him? Gets in his space? Does something innocent that bothers him (e.g., singing, yelling loudly)? Is it totally unprovoked?

I'd work with him on finding solutions for what he CAN do when a trigger happens, before focusing on what he shouldn't do. Think about how you'd like him to act, and what he should do that if that doesn't work, etc. Then spell it out for him and give him lots of positive reinforcement when he does those things.

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