How do u deal with the whining??

amother

OP ↓

Sun, Nov 03 2024, 6:08 am

My just turned 2yo is speech delayed. He's recently been getting some more words but I often can't figure out what they are right away. I really try to be patient and remind myself how frustrating it must be for him not to be able to communicate his wants but the whining is driving me crazy!!

In theory, I'd love to just not respond if he whines or respond but by telling him he needs to use words etc. But I can't do that because he doesn't have enough speech. My latest idea is to teach him the sign for "help" so even if he can't say help he can sign it and then I'll try and figure out with him what he needs. Or to just say mommy, which he can say, and we'll go from there. But even once he has my attention he's still whining while we try and figure it out, and it just makes it so much more difficult for me to be patient. Of course there's also just plain whining of complaining once I said no to something, which is not specially related to being language delayed, but also very grating..

Any tips?? Both for how to decrease the whining and to stay sane please

amother

DarkCyan

Sun, Nov 03 2024, 7:15 am

Decreasing the whining is laughable. In pretty sure it only gets worse before it gets better. So imagine another year or so of whining.
Even with teaching them how not to whine they just whine until they grow out of it. Many adults still whine too.

But it sounds like you’re doing great.
It’s def more difficult because he has a speech delay. are you taking him to speech therapy ?

Just keep doing what you’re doing

gottago

Sun, Nov 03 2024, 7:36 am

At his age and stage, whining is normal, even if it's hard to deal with.
The best thing you can do is give him the words you would prefer he use. So once you figure out that he wants an apple, you say "mommy, can I please have an apple? " then respond how you would if he would have said it like that.

amother

Forestgreen

Sun, Nov 03 2024, 7:49 am

Correct the whining, show him what you want him to do instead while giving him what he asked for. I’d have patience and model but I disagree that whining is just part of life. You can always work with any child on it.

amother

Chicory

Sun, Nov 03 2024, 8:54 am

Thinking about what's going in your head when you hear him whine. And you start to think, now he's upset. What am I doing around.... That type of thing can help you react. Rest for whining. Whining is a part of life. Especially with kids. You can work on it being less but it'll always be there. As far as your kid goes that doesn't sound like wine but sounds like he's communicating with Beth cuz he has the capabilities for

amother

↑ OP

Sun, Nov 03 2024, 3:08 pm

Thank you for the ideas!!
Amother chicory, I'm not really sure what you're saying. Speech to text?

Yeah I think modeling language is the best response, once I figure out what he's trying to say! At least for the times he's trying to communicate something specific and not just expressing impatience or displeasure. Any ideas for the complaining type of whining?

Also, any tips for a spouse with less patience? He is great with the kids overall but patience especially with whining is really not his strength. He just tells him "stop that" or similar and will stop engaging..

SnowLeopard

Tue, Nov 05 2024, 1:24 pm

amother OP wrote:

I’ll say it’s really hard for me to understand you when you use a kvetchy/cranky voice (which is true). Then when she says what she wants in a normal voice and I understand her, I’ll do what PP suggested and kindly say it back to her, adding the words please (not a stern corrective voice, more conversational). Then I’ll respond. It took a while to hammer this method out, but it seems to work with my child and it’s easy to use.

imaima ↓

Tue, Nov 05 2024, 1:37 pm

amother OP wrote:

I don’t know how many words you expect from him at just turned 2 but whining sounds just about right and I don’t know any method other than offering (and naming) the things that he might want

↑ imaima

Tue, Nov 05 2024, 1:38 pm

amother OP wrote:

It’s okay to stop engaging for a bit, it’s better than getting worked up