Please Help Me. I am Miserable and Exhausted

amother

OP ↓

Yesterday at 6:53 pm

My 2 year old girl started waking up multiple times during the night. I am at my wits end what to do. She insists in sleeping in my bed and when I try to make her sleep in her crib, she freaks out and wakes up my 4 year old. I’ve tried everything, giving her more milk in her bottle, juice, snacks in crib, cuddles, hugs, singing, timeout, etc. but nothing works. Now she started refusing to sleep in her crib all together.

All I can think to do is the cry it out method and check on her every half an hour. However she cries for over an hour and a half. The lack of sleep is making me resent her and I need help.

amother

Daffodil

Yesterday at 7:21 pm

Do not let her cry it out. 2 year old regression is soooo common with a lot of night terrors and nightmares. That’s cruel to let her cry through her fears

Have a little compassion for that little human and give her lots of love and make her feel safe through it. It’s a phase and will pass

You need to be extra loving and showing her you’re there to keep her safe. Sleeping is so vulnerable if you think about it!

amother

↑ OP ↓

Yesterday at 7:23 pm

amother Daffodil wrote:

OK, so what should I do instead?

amother

Snow ↓

Yesterday at 7:24 pm

amother Daffodil wrote:

And she can’t do any of this if she has no sleep. Not very helpful advice.

yiddishmom

Yesterday at 7:25 pm

Had that with my oldest.

As a previous posted said, at some point it was too exhausting for me to keep going to DC's room.

I put a mattress in my room. The phase lasted for many months. I thought it would last for years. Well, probably at around the 6-7 month mark it stopped. I don't even know how.

BH we are past that.

Good luck!

amother

↑ Snow

Yesterday at 7:26 pm

Try the sleep shuffle method if you can. Start by sitting near her, moving further away, moving to the door, moving outside the door, leave and close the door. Do each step for a few nights.

Can your husband help too?

ittsamother

Yesterday at 7:27 pm

All I know is the last thing I would do is start taking her into my bed or my room every night, that's a path I never want to go down and all it will mean is that you'll need to train her out of it eventually, which won't be fun then either.

I disagree that you're not allowed to go back to sleep training. Yes, your 4 yr old will get woken up a few nights from it but I would still feel that's better than setting my 2 yr old up to sleep in my room every night for the foreseeable future.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Yesterday at 7:31 pm

amother Snow wrote:

This is helpful, thank you. What do I do if she starts to scream once I leave the room? Or what if it takes her over an hour to go to sleep. I just sit there?

And to the other person who asked if my husband can help, he’s not home by bedtime.

amother

Papaya

Yesterday at 7:40 pm

amother Maroon wrote:

Try a mattress on the floor in your room next to you rather than in your bed as a half way measure.

Following this thread bec I currently have 2 adorable toddlers who come to my bed every night. I did this a few times and a month or so later I found out I had a mouse problem more like mice and I’m scarred that my child was on the floor and mice possibly crawled near them. I really can’t do this sharing bed anymore but they refuse to stay in their room. Sad

Hoping to get some ideas shuffle method did not work one screams the moment they don’t feel me near them and the other joins the choir

amother

DarkGray

Yesterday at 7:40 pm

I’m def cruel but ima standards. Feel free to ignore this advice.

I would get a crib tent. And I would ask the pediatrician abt a very low dose of melatonin just till things settle down.

I would let her play and get out a lot of energy, maybe even start bedtime 30 mins later than usual, do a yummy bath, smear her with cream and read to her cribside. Then when she’s very exhausted put her in. She will not cry for 1.5 hours. I have a 2 year old, he doesn’t have that much stamina.

When she wakes up at night I would try to ignore, if it exceeds 10 mins you may have to go in and try to calm her down, but she doesn’t get to come into ur bed ever. For the 4 year old, get that kids used to noise machine. Separate the kids if you can

Maybe it’ll help to buy her a new book or stuffy to take into her crib with her. My son that she loves his crib aquarium.

I love my kids very very much and always let them into my bed in the mornings but not at night. I do not function without sleep. Postpartum is a disaster for me. I end up giving bottle and my husbands helps with shifts. I’ve hired night nurses as needed …

amother

DarkRed

Yesterday at 7:41 pm

How is she getting to your bed? Can she come out of her crib/ open the door herself?

My 2 year old has something similar the past few weeks but not as bad. I go in, give her a kiss, make sure she has her pacifier, water bottle, no dirty diaper. If she keeps screaming I go back in every so often for a minute but I dont take her out.

My 3 year old wakes up but B"H falls right back asleep.

amother

Pink

Yesterday at 8:56 pm

I was coming to post something similar except my 15 month old never had any healthy sleep pattern to begin with. I feel like I tried everything and I'm just DONE. I'm officially falling apart. I even tried hard-core CIO but he went on for an hour and a half and STILL didn't cry himself to sleep so I gave up. And I tried that 3 times and he simply never succumbed. I thought I was ready to tough it out but apparently even when I'm beyond desperate I have a limit and it's somewhere a little over an hour.

I just started on an antidepressant but I have a feeling nothing will help until I get some sleep. And no, sending him away or going away for a few days is not realistic.

amother

↑ OP

Yesterday at 9:06 pm

amother Pink wrote:

Sending hugs

amother

Teal

Yesterday at 9:08 pm

amother OP wrote:

Maybe try to turn on soft music when you put her to sleep and leave it on for the night.

amother

Geranium

Today at 4:31 am

amother OP wrote:

I could have written this. I thought maybe it's because she had surgery from tubes and was traumatized from it but it may not be. We've been dealing with this non stop since August. I think being firm and consistent is the only way. Try a mattress on your floor