What is going on the highschools???!!!!

↑ small bean ↓

Thu, Nov 21 2024, 8:11 am

My daughter has a lot of friends. She says there's a girl in her grade who has none. 11th grade. Everything, my daughters spoken with her, she wonders why. She's cute, smart, funny. My daughter doesn't hang out with her in school but started talking to her on the phone at night, here and there. She happens not to be in any of her classes but she wonders why she doesn't have friends.

↑ Chayalle ↓

Thu, Nov 21 2024, 8:14 am

small bean wrote:

It could be that she wants to be part of a certain group of friends and they aren't welcoming her....and the girls she could possibly join don't appeal to her.
Sometimes girls don't know how to communicate social interest, which could also be a problem.

Anyone remember the short story "Almost Friends" about a girl who went thru high school in the shadow of someone she wished she were friends with, only to find out after high school that that girl did the same thing? I remember an upper-elementary school teacher read us that story.

amother

↑ Razzmatazz

Thu, Nov 21 2024, 8:27 am

small bean wrote:

I know girls in this school who don't feel like that at all and have no friends.

It's really not about the school but the actual student. There's no school where every girl is included and feels liked. Never was and never will be.

Like I said in my original post, there are definitely some exceptions. But I’ve heard it from many people that send there

gr82no

Thu, Nov 21 2024, 8:31 am

Chayalle wrote:

I remember that story. At the end I felt what a shame!

↑ small bean

Thu, Nov 21 2024, 9:05 am

amother Razzmatazz wrote:

Like I said in my original post, there are definitely some exceptions. But I’ve heard it from many people that send there

I have neices in bais shaindel and they feel like that. The school has 950 girls.

If a girl is socially adjusted she will feel that way in 99% of schools. It's the girls who aren't making it that don't feel or see the warmth.

amother

Hyacinth ↓

Thu, Nov 21 2024, 2:49 pm

amother Ginger wrote:

The particular school we're dealing with is in Monsey.

I wish I knew which school you are talking about. I'm applying for high school now in Monsey and I am very nervous for my daughter. She struggled the past 2 years making friends and is soo lonely at times and cries when she thinks what might happen in high school. I don't know why she doesn't have friends she seems totally socially normal.

amother

↑ Ginger ↓

Thu, Nov 21 2024, 2:59 pm

[color=black]amother Hyacinth[/color ] wrote:

The school I'm referring to is large- several classes per grade.

amother

Chambray

Thu, Nov 21 2024, 3:10 pm

amother OP wrote:

How will their high school years affect them for life? I'm seriously concerned. It's enough to rip out their self esteem.

I went to an international private school with serious and sincere people and have also been to a partial public/private school in Canada, and the way I see the cliques in frum schools specifically in certain areas is just a different low, especially the way women grow out of them and re-enact what they went through in their adult relationships, just yuck.
Your daughter needs to work on her confidence and not be afraid to be herself and stand up for herself. That’s the only way

amother

↑ Hosta

Thu, Nov 21 2024, 3:44 pm

amother Chambray wrote:

Frum school cliques don’t come close to the horrible cliques in non Jewish schools.

amother

Tealblue ↓

Thu, Nov 21 2024, 4:50 pm

amother Pistachio wrote:

I’m in my mid twenties and have one toddler so I’m less busy than you. I would love to have a group of friends to go out with for birthdays or things like that, I think those one off fun events would energize me and make me a better and happier wife and mother. Friends are really important.

I felt a lot like you in my mind 20s. Honestly that stage is hard socially because you are still finding yourself as a new mother and wife and don't have your kids mothers to socialize with as much. It will get easier! I am now in my early 30s and went from having no friends (and no HS friends) in my mid 20s to now have a really good friend group around me. Keep putting yourself out there!

amother

Gardenia ↓

Thu, Nov 21 2024, 10:21 pm

The stories I keep hearing about how girls behave in my daughter's 10th grade class horrify me. A girl made a comment to the teacher about her choice of fashion and asked ithe teacher if she got it from shein. Another girl started coloring a picture on the board while the rabbi was teaching and totally ignored his request to stop, and then made a funny face and requested another classmate to take. picture of her. Another girl came to class put her head down and covered herself with her jacket and told the teacher not to disturb her because she is going to take a nap. Every day I hear another crazy disrespectful story. This is supposed to be a solid Brooklyn school that is actually hard to get in to.

amother

↑ Gardenia

Fri, Nov 22 2024, 1:29 am

amother Gardenia wrote:

amother

Lavender

Fri, Nov 22 2024, 3:04 am

amother Gardenia wrote:

I think I teach in this school!
You know how the train stations all have signs saying that abuse to their staff is unacceptable and they'll take action etc, I wish my school would stand up for their teachers and crack down on the disrespect. It's horrific.
And yes, I'm leaving.

amother

↑ Stone

Fri, Nov 22 2024, 4:17 am

amother Lavender wrote:

good for you! there's no reason for you to take this abuse

amother

↑ OP ↓

Fri, Nov 22 2024, 6:58 am

[quote="amother Ginger"]The school I'm referring to is large- several classes per grade

I'm wondering if we're talking about the same school...the politics there are next level.

amother

Catmint ↓

Fri, Nov 22 2024, 7:29 am

[quote="amother OP"]

amother Ginger wrote:

The school I'm referring to is large- several classes per grade

I'm wondering if we're talking about the same school...the politics there are next level.

I went to that school I think. There were a bunch of groups and each group had it's own politics. I found the most accepying girls were the ones who were yeshivish but not extreme.
And I didn't find that the mechaneches actually saw what was going on. Especially one grade I feel like she just made things worse.
I do like that since its such a big school theres plenty of choice for who you sant to be friends with
But besides for social which honestly dont think its worse than other schools, its a very good school.