If we gift our married son a house do we have to put DIL’s n

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Forum -> Relationships -> Giving Gifts

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amother

Lemonlime

Yesterday at 9:27 am

Make sure though that your sil has rights as guardians, etc if your son chv is no longer there.

I've heard too many stories of when a parent passed away, and the property is controlled by the grandparents.
A son passes and the mother and children want to sell the house and move- either to a different house with no memories or to a different city and the grandparents are blocking the sale.
Not a case where the mother is trying to pocket the money. Just a case where the mother is trying to raise her children the best possible and their grandparents are interfering and financially blocking her

amother

NeonYellow

Yesterday at 9:35 am

[quote="amother OP"]I don’t think it will but you never know because I know they had some issues in their marriage[/quote]

Who doesn't have "issues in their marriage"?

You don't have to put your DIL's name on it. Obviously.
It's an amazing gift and you don't even have to gift it to your son, but you want to, and that is great for him and his family.
You're not responsible for your DIL's feelings. If she is not considering divorce, than there is no issue.
If she is smart, she will understand, and as one unit, the home is practically hers to enjoy.
If she wants to make an issue if it, then she just proved why you didn't want to add her name to begin with.

Your son may choose to add his wife's name to the deed, anyway. You can't put a provision that he is not allowed to do that.

amother

Aubergine

Yesterday at 9:37 am

My father has helped some of his kids buy homes. One of my sisters has a more challenging marriage (read that as, she's a saint and I don't know why she stays with him) and I think if he buys them a house it should be in her name only. Sorry, don't trust the guy.

That being said, I guess putting it in your child's name can sort of send a certain message that isn't so complimentary to the couple.

amother

Steel

Yesterday at 9:50 am

amother OP wrote:

I don’t think it will but you never know because I know they had some issues in their marriage

Who doesn't?

amother

Turquoise

Yesterday at 9:53 am

For a marital home does it matter whose name the house is under if they both live in it with kids?

amother

↑ Latte ↓

Yesterday at 10:15 am

Just to reiterate, whose name is on the deed is mostly irrelevant. You need to do more than that to make sure it's exclusively his in the event of separation.

theoneandonly ↓

Yesterday at 2:14 pm

amother Mintgreen wrote:

This OP!
A lot of people on this thread are responding emotionally, but you need to speak to your local attorney and decide on the solution that's will best protect your child and grandchildren if they have any. Possibly a type of trust is a way to go. If you just gift your child a house it would not matter if you put your DIL on it as your son would be able to add her at any time and it would now be possibly considered marital property depending on your location, and in addition, your son might have to pay taxes on this gift , also depending on your location.
Trust might be a much better option!

In the US the receiver never has to pay taxes on the gift, only the giver and only if it's above a certain amount.

Someone rich enough to be gifting a house I assume has a competent accountant who will deal with any gift tax issues that may arise.

amother

Tanzanite ↓

Yesterday at 2:18 pm

Chances are very high that you'll damage the relationships. So please go about it a better way.

Why not you buy a house and they can live in it rent free and if they save & buy their own house, they can rent it out for more income?

amother

Lightcyan

Yesterday at 2:49 pm

theoneandonly wrote:

The taxes would be when they sell the house. There is a capital gains tax on how much the house appreciates from when it was bought. If you inherit it the tax is based on the appreciation from when it was inherited not form when it was bought. And also a certain amount of inheritance and appreciation is exempt. Not everyone rich enough to gift a house has accountants and estate planners they talk to. Not everyone who gifts a house is even rich. As I wrote my in laws added my husband to their deed wanting to to be a gift when they died. They are not rich and did not think to speak to an attorney or estate planner or accountant. Not u too years later did we speak to one and were alerted taht ti had been a horrible idea tax wise and a trust leaving it to us or not having put out nake on and just having it in the Will woudl have been was much better.
Really rich do usually have accountants they talk to often. I find people who generally are not rich but get a big gift or windfall often do not realIe the value of paying for a few hours of a professionals time and do not think of all these variables.

↑ theoneandonly

Yesterday at 4:07 pm

amother Lightcyan wrote:

If you live in the house for at least three years before selling it there's a large capital gains tax exemption.

Also the post I quoted was talking about taxes on a gift received, not on when they sell the gift.

heidi

Yesterday at 4:55 pm

amother OP wrote:

If we gift our married son a house do we have to put our daughter in law’s name on it as well?

What a nasty nasty question

Cheiny ↓

Yesterday at 4:58 pm

amother OP wrote:

I don’t think it will but you never know because I know they had some issues in their marriage

No one can know for sure what will happen to any marriage in the future. That’s why there are pre nups.

amother

Birch ↓

Yesterday at 4:58 pm

The idea that you would give something to your son and davka not want his wife to be included is kind of nasty. Don't do it if you don't want to be hurtful.

↑ Cheiny

Yesterday at 5:00 pm

amother cornflower wrote:

My in laws bought us a house in only my husbands name. It costs a lot to change it so we never did. It hurts. As if they’re saying “ok you’re married now but who knows….we don’t like you, maybe eventually he won’t either.” .

You should stop and realize the part about, “Ok you’re married now but who knows,” is absolutely true and realistic. The rest of the statement that you added in is just your own sensitivity and likely was not their thought or intention…

amother

Freesia

Yesterday at 5:04 pm

My parents gifted us a house (yerusha) and I asked they put both names on it I think it’s offensive to my spouse if only my name was on it

Ema of 5

Yesterday at 5:05 pm

amother OP wrote:

If we gift our married son a house do we have to put our daughter in law’s name on it as well?

You don’t HAVe to do anything, but why wouldn’t you want to? Wouldn’t the house be for both of them?

amother

PlumPink

Yesterday at 5:50 pm

My parents did something similar and it was in my name only. They blamed on something like "Our accountant said we should do it this way."

Neither one of us cared. We were just so grateful.

Our shalom bayis is wonderful. My parents, though, have several siblings between them who have been divorced. It seemed like the responsible thing to do.

Maybe if things had been rocky dh would have been more offended? Knowing him, I don't think so.

NotInNJMommy

Yesterday at 5:52 pm

It’s undermining the marriage.

And if you don’t think the marriage stable, it’s better they don’t have a house to fight over in the divorce either.

↑ Raizle ↓

Yesterday at 5:54 pm

heidi wrote:

What a nasty nasty question

Why?
You don't know details and you are responding from emotion. I took it for granted OP has a reason.

amother

Floralwhite ↓

Yesterday at 6:11 pm

I hope ur DIL doesn’t even find out that u asked this question

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