If we gift our married son a house do we have to put DIL’s n

amother

OP ↓

Tue, Nov 19 2024, 10:50 pm

If we gift our married son a house do we have to put our daughter in law’s name on it as well?

amother

Gray

Tue, Nov 19 2024, 11:16 pm

Nope.
You don't have to do anything.

But it would be a shame to ruin a relationship with such a lovely gift. I would be so insulted if my ILs didn't put my name on the house.

amother

Nectarine

Tue, Nov 19 2024, 11:23 pm

amother Gray wrote:

Nope.
You don't have to do anything.

But it would be a shame to ruin a relationship with such a lovely gift. I would be so insulted if my ILs didn't put my name on the house.

Second this. Leaving her off is risking their shalom bayis.
Anyway, assuming you’re in NY or NJ, not putting her name on the deed means nothing should they ever get divorced or she develop a debt problem - both states consider any property acquired during the marriage to be marital property regardless of who is on the deed.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Tue, Nov 19 2024, 11:35 pm

amother Nectarine wrote:

I don’t think so because it’s an inheritance from my own parents that I am gifting to my son and putting it under his name only.

amother

Dimgray

Tue, Nov 19 2024, 11:37 pm

Is there any specific reason that you don't want to put her name on?

amother

Snow

Tue, Nov 19 2024, 11:54 pm

amother OP wrote:

I don’t think so because it’s an inheritance from my own parents that I am gifting to my son and putting it under his name only.

Why? Your dil and son are one unit. You aren't gifting it to your son, you're gifting it to your son and daughter in law. Unless you're anticipating the marriage will fail?

amother

↑ OP

Tue, Nov 19 2024, 11:57 pm

amother Snow wrote:

Why? Your dil and son are one unit. You aren't gifting it to your son, you're gifting it to your son and daughter in law. Unless you're anticipating the marriage will fail?

I don’t think it will but you never know because I know they had some issues in their marriage

soproud

Yesterday at 2:36 am

Put the house into a trust?
Put your name and ds on the deed?

Speak to a lawyer.

amother

cornflower

Yesterday at 3:01 am

My in laws bought us a house in only my husbands name. It costs a lot to change it so we never did. It hurts. As if they’re saying “ok you’re married now but who knows….we don’t like you, maybe eventually he won’t either.” We never had serious shalom basis issues. Makes me mad.

amother

Jean

Yesterday at 3:09 am

If they did divorce would you want your son to be the type to cheat his wife out of half their home?

amother

Almond

Yesterday at 3:13 am

If they have a good marriage, you’re saying you’re still hedging your bets against it. If they have a not so good marriage, you’re broadcasting that you’re well aware of it. Not so nice either way.

If you’re worried, find some other way to keep the house in the family. If it’s already an inheritance, maybe you could just let them live there and give it to them in your will.

amother

Forestgreen ↓

Yesterday at 3:14 am

amother OP wrote:

I don’t think it will but you never know because I know they had some issues in their marriage

If their relationship had issues then you'll definitely add more fuel by putting it only in your sons name.

amother

Steelblue

Yesterday at 3:36 am

amother OP wrote:

I don’t think it will but you never know because I know they had some issues in their marriage

I understand why you would want to but it can cause a lot of anger and hurt.
What you can do is discuss with a lawyer gifting the house with a clause that in the event of divorce, it returns to him alone. Before anyone jumps on me about half belonging to her, sometimes you're doing someone a favor by making this a clause so there is no arguing.
If you do it without over infusing it with emotion, it can be understood.

amother

Wisteria

Yesterday at 3:40 am

My parents gifted us an apt on my name only, dh was very grateful no grudge at all, he completely understood that my patents have had divirces and bad experiences before and wouldnt want me to be financially dependent if ch"v"ch we had marriage problems in future.
That being said my parents, are very open about this topic explained it to both of us and despite having limited budget aleays generous towards both of us and our children.

patzer

Yesterday at 3:43 am

Look at it from the other side. Imagine it was your daughter-in-law's parents gifting the house. If they put their daughter's name on it and not your son's, how do you think your son would feel? How would you feel?

amother

Springgreen ↓

Yesterday at 3:45 am

amother Jean wrote:

If they did divorce would you want your son to be the type to cheat his wife out of half their home?

That’s ridiculous.

Raizle ↓

Yesterday at 3:50 am

amother Jean wrote:

If they did divorce would you want your son to be the type to cheat his wife out of half their home?

I don't think inheritance is quite the same as something acquired together as a couple.

amother

↑ Forestgreen

Yesterday at 3:58 am

patzer wrote:

Unfortunately some MIL can't do that, they can only feel for their own blood relatives.

amother

Candycane

Yesterday at 4:09 am

I wouldn’t be offended personally. It’s an inheritance. Just like when my father passed he left “me” money not “us” money … but yes I gave it to DH to take care of it. It’s really for their kids anyways… so unless she is extra sensitive I don’t understand why she would be offended.