S/O How much did it cost to marry off child POLL

amother

↑ Powderblue

Today at 1:17 pm

amother OP wrote:

Just underwear for me and daughter for wedding gowns(not kallah but needed good support) were close to that Sad

And I wasn’t stocking a kallah up on good underwear and bras… slips, nightgowns…
Don’t know how all that fit into $200 for you?
I guess I just shop very differently.

We buy undergarments regularly, that's not a wedding expense!!
Unless you only wore it for wedding and never again?

amother

Lilac

Today at 1:18 pm

A lot of the costs do depend on many factors. Like its known that Chassidum spend a lot on gifts, )though I thought that many of them were stopping that due to the costs). Some people are able to make shabos sheva brachos or the aufruf seuda at home, many others cant, for whatever reason eg space, capaabilites, etc. If the chosson has 10 siblings then norm is to invite all of them for shabos sheva brachos, though im hearing that sometimes kids arent invited, so that saves costs, but u do have siblings, grandparents, etc, but a lot depend on the size of the family as well. And if you have 10 kids of your own, all of which are married, its alot different then when the chosson or kalla are the oldest of, say, 5 kids. And Im sure a lot does depend on what type of family you are marrying into with regarding furniture and housewares.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Today at 1:20 pm

amother Cognac wrote:

Probably. For one DD doesn't wear nightgowns, and not much slips....bras, underwear online. She bought some pj's she wanted herself. She also had alot.

I also buy a lot online but it needs to be good so it supports and for a kallah I would buy probably 6 new ones so she has and a few pjs and new underwear plus white underwear at least 12 regular and 8 white but probably more. And slips… all that adds up to way more than $200 and I don’t think it’s excessive.

amother

↑ Cognac ↓

Today at 1:20 pm

amother Lilac wrote:

this is true. Our Shabbos Sheva Brachos was minimum amount because the Chosson's family is small, and no grandparents.

amother

↑ Cognac ↓

Today at 1:21 pm

amother OP wrote:

I remember Amazon Basics had some good deals on underwear. DD said not to spend alot, because they get periodically thrown out, especially white, so they don't have to be top quality.

↑ Bnei Berak 10 ↓

Today at 1:31 pm

amother Blue wrote:

Am I delusional that I won’t be spending 100K?

I am not buying furniture, they will. Dishes/housewares will hopefully be given to them as gifts from their registry. Sheva brachot are not in a hall (I’m figuring under 2K is generous).
Her shower her friends make.

What am I missing?

(Hall/food is 50K, they have flowers/photo/music) I know I still need clothes and makeup but I am hoping under 5K.

7 brachot: If the other side has a very large family, where will you host the event? In your home?
What about invitations and mailing them? If 7 brachot guests live in another town, where will you accommodate them? What about kallah/chosson gifts? Do you need to pay the mesader kidushin?
I wouldn't trust dishes/housewares would come via a registry unless it's a very accepted norm in your circles.
If you marry off into a very large family or family who wants a higher standard you will pay more.

amother

Winterberry

Today at 1:37 pm

I married a daughter off a year ago. It was probably 110k but I voted 75-100. We are yeshivish but my husband is a professional. We bought 2 Sheitals set up the apartment with e/t but furniture paid for shabbos sheva brochos catered in a hall but only had close family/friends (30-40 at each meal) clothing for the family and I bought gowns that I’ve tried to sell but can’t so will probably donate to a gemach.

amother

Daylily

Today at 1:48 pm

amother Sapphire wrote:

If you do standard typical Lakewood it’s 60k-70k minimum. If you do cheap , ikea, second hand furniture etc can get away with 50k or just under.

Prob you can go less than 50k if you don't do what everyone else does. Like no dance classes, no music at vort, no custom wigs and brand name everything etc... people posted the hall is abt 12k so why do you need to spend another 38k?

amother

↑ Blue ↓

Today at 1:49 pm

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

Invitations are evite, completely and totally done in my community. I don’t recall the last paper invitations I got and these are fancy weddings.
7 brachot will be in my friends home. (She has a large home and is very gracious. I need a thoughtful gift for her, but she will definitely not appreciate me spending over the top.) I will buy takeout from the local takeout place /cook. Bodek lettuce at $20 a large bag, is expensive, but in this situation not a crazy expense add a box of grape tomatoes , a bag of croutons and salad mates Cesar dressing. I will buy grilled chicken cutlets, roast some vegetables, make deli rolls and put up a chullent.
Paper goods form close out connections and flowers from Trader Joe’s.
Not sure who you think is coming for Sheva brachot.
With a Sunday wedding, nobody wants to stay for a week.
I am assuming the Mesader kedushin, who is is from the chassan’s side, and unknown to us, is payed by the chassan’s family.

What am I missing?

amother

↑ Cognac ↓

Today at 1:52 pm

amother Sapphire wrote:

If you do standard typical Lakewood it’s 60k-70k minimum. If you do cheap , ikea, second hand furniture etc can get away with 50k or just under.

There are other areas you can save money. For example we went with Gemach gowns for our wedding (and they were gorgeous) and really saved alot there, but we got our daughter new furniture (basic - bedroom set, couch, dinette table and chairs). I feel we could have saved by going cheaper on hair and makeup, but gave in on that as my daughter wanted someone particularly, and it wasn't so much of a difference.

We did look at second hand furniture but didn't find anything she liked. But it's worth looking, you never know what you find. IKEA also costs money, and once we were buying I preferred getting something long-term.

amother

↑ Cognac

Today at 1:54 pm

amother Blue wrote:

Invitations are evite, completely and totally done in my community. I don’t recall the last paper invitations I got and these are fancy weddings.

I wish our community would go evite. My mechutanim said this as well. Such a waste of money.

↑ Bnei Berak 10

Today at 2:19 pm

amother Blue wrote:

How do you know it will be a Sunday wedding?
I don't know your circles but in my circles Shabbos sheva brachot siblings with their DH/DW and kids plus grandparents invited and uncles/aunts with their DH/DW.
And if the other side wants a 50/50 division of costs? And what about if it's a large family?

amother

↑ Blue ↓

Today at 2:54 pm

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

Because I said up thread that DD is a Kallah. Hall is booked so I know the exact location, date and time. I know who she is marrying, know the family size and have met them, and we have discussed $ with them.

amother

↑ OP

Today at 3:13 pm

amother Blue wrote:

I don’t have friends to use their home. And most of my large close family lives locally to me so they would all come to Sheva brachos. But I guess I’m seeing how some can make cheaper weddings.
By not stocking the couple up as much with more than bare basics and by having good friends with large houses and registries to get other stuff as gifts

amother

↑ Blue

Today at 3:23 pm

amother OP wrote:

I think it is also a lot of give and take. I am still spending 50K on the hall/food, and we are having a small wedding. Most people upthread said it was between 13-25K. I just don’t have that option. As someone said above, a “takana” wedding package in my area is about 65K, and that is the budget simcha.

So yes, I’m saving on SB and household items, but I’m paying plenty for the venue.