S/O How much did it cost to marry off child POLL

amother

↑ OP ↓

Today at 12:30 pm

amother Cognac wrote:

I voted 50-75K but was about 55K. We're yeshivish and was for daughter's
wedding. Did not include support.

Does this include shaitels,
clothing for kallah and family
Gifts for chosson
Wedding night gowns, hair, makeup…
Setting up the apartment with linen, kitchen, groceries, bathroom items…
Vort, Sheva brachos, …?

amother

↑ Cognac ↓

Today at 12:35 pm

amother OP wrote:

Mostly. Didn't include groceries. Yes to everything else.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Today at 12:35 pm

I’m chassidish. Married off a son.
Kallah gifts alone were about $15,000 in jewelry plus $2,000 for leichter plus vort and shabbos kallah flowers and some small gifts … over 20,000
And the halls here in Boro park had no takanah night anymore for 10 months so we did not takanah and it was 22,000 plus I think 5,000 for music, photography.. plus tips.. close to $30,000 just for the wedding itself so 15,000 each side since we do everything 50/50.
Then there’s still so much more…

amother

Blue ↓

Today at 12:37 pm

MO in the process. Put in 50-75, definitely well above 50, and closer to the 75. I hope it’s not more than that 😬.

Wedding is looking like it will be about 50 (our part), hopefully the vort, Sheva brachot, shaitals, wedding clothes/makeup, chattan gifts …will not be 25.

B”H the money is technically there, but I will never get to retire.

amother

Powderblue ↓

Today at 12:45 pm

Boy's or girl's side?
Very different!
So far married off a few boys with minimal expenses! Never made a wedding for a girl yet.
Gowns from gemach. We bought 2 for cheap(hoping to sell one). $900 for 5 gowns.
Makeup, we went to girls that charged cheaper.(About $200 for 3 faces, high school girls we did at home)
Jewelry and leichters $5000
Hall $8000 (in Lakewood,1/3 for boys side)
Aufruf was $1000 (everything homemade and borrowed from gemach: tablecloths, props, chairs, tables...)
Hair for girls was $300(4 girls)
Stamps $300
Addressing envelopes $75
Invitations were paid for by girls side.
Did my sheitel myself.
My son saved for a while before his wedding to pay for the singer of his choice (huge expense but DK how much, he paid for it)
Borrowed outfit from gemach for my 8 yr old. 11 yrs old wore new Shabbos suit.
I don't include shoes and shirts for men of the family because it would have to be bought for yom tov/ Shabbos regardless of wedding.
Plane tickets for kids coming from Israel $5000(no more cheap flights!)
Eta: girl's side is significantly more even if made with minimal expenses.( Hall 2/3, Vort plus expenses dress,make up, Shabbos sheva brachos, setting up apartment, tallis but if you do it yourself it can be done with the $5000 spent on jewelry by chosson's side)

amother

↑ Blue ↓

Today at 12:48 pm

Am I delusional that I won’t be spending 100K?

I am not buying furniture, they will. Dishes/housewares will hopefully be given to them as gifts from their registry. Sheva brachot are not in a hall (I’m figuring under 2K is generous).
Her shower her friends make.

What am I missing?

(Hall/food is 50K, they have flowers/photo/music) I know I still need clothes and makeup but I am hoping under 5K.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Today at 1:03 pm

amother Powderblue wrote:

Boy's or girl's side?
Very different!
So far married off a few boys with minimal expenses! Never made a wedding for a girl yet.
Gowns from gemach. We bought 2 for cheap(hoping to sell one). $900 for 5 gowns.
Makeup, we went to girls that charged cheaper.(About $200 for 3 faces, high school girls we did at home)
Jewelry and leichters $5000
Hall $8000 (in Lakewood,1/3 for boys side)
Aufruf was $1000 (everything homemade and borrowed from gemach: tablecloths, props, chairs, tables...)
Hair for girls was $300(4 girls)
Did my sheitel myself.
My son saved for a while before his wedding to pay for the singer of his choice (huge expense but DK how much, he paid for it)
Borrowed outfit from gemach for my 8 yr old. 11 yrs old wore new Shabbos suit.
I don't include shoes and shirts for men of the family because it would have to be bought for yom tov/ Shabbos regardless of wedding.
Plane tickets for kids coming from Israel $5000(no more cheap flights!)
Eta: girl's side is significantly more even if made with minimal expenses.( Hall 2/3, Vort plus expenses dress,make up, Shabbos sheva brachos, setting up apartment, tallis but if you do it yourself it can be done with the $5000 spent on jewelry by chosson's side)

Where did you find such cheap gowns???
Also what jewelry do you give?
In the chassidish world I think pretty typical is
Ring, bracelet, earring, watch, necklace for yichud room and kiddushin ring. That costed us around $15,000. Yes we could have gone with cheapest of each for more like 10,000 but we wanted to do middle of the road not cheapest

amother

Goldenrod

Today at 1:04 pm

Save costs-

by having the vort/ Aufruf / Sheva brochos at different homes if possible.

Wedding can be takana hall
And gowns can be from a Gemach
We spent 17k on the wedding hall, 1k on digital photos, 2k on music, silk flowers

Makeup hair be done by a student 100 a face

Based on all the feedback don’t spend tons on your first sheitel … you’ll know more of what you want after some time… 1.5k or 2k

Setting up apartment is also your first apartment isn’t going to be your home don’t feel the need to spend on furnishings bc you’ll move into something nicer beH

amother

Crocus

Today at 1:05 pm

amother Blue wrote:

If you are MO you aren’t missing anything
In the yeshivish world most people don’t have registries
Size of family will depend on if you need a hall for sheva brachos
I come from a huge family we had 250+ people by my shabbos sheva brachos
If you are from a small family that is considerably cheaper

I find with people I know in a similar crowd that they invest more in their children’s education so couple is more self sufficient when they get married and need less.

amother

↑ Cognac ↓

Today at 1:07 pm

Lchaim 100
Vort 4500 Hall, party planner, photographer
Kallah dress was borrowed

Gifts 5500
1000 Shas
1800 chosson watch
900 Atarah, Kittel, Taleisim
800 Tallis Bags
750 Becher
50 Cake dish for MIL
75 Lulav holder
100 cake for aufruf

Shadchan 2000
Kallah Teacher 1500

Shabbos Sheva Brachos 6000 Hall, Caterer, Mashgiach, Waiters
Hostess Bags and gifts
Furniture
couch 1500
chest 1300
nightstand 500
dresser 1500
mirror 100
beds 1800
delivery 75
tax 450
matresses 1400
Dinette Table 750
6 Chairs 800
10175

Quilts 280 Amazon
pillows 100 Amazon
Linen 450 Pottery Barn
300 Linen Loft
pillow protectors 25 Amazon
mattress pads 70 Closeout Connections

Vacuum Cleaner 100 Shark Vacuum Cleaner - Amazon

Wedding 13000

Wedding Day
Makeup 515 Myself, Kallah, two sisters
Hair 335 Kallah and two sisters
My Sheitel 75
Gown Alterations 365 Kallah gown was free, paid alterations. Was already clean.
Gowns - myself, 2 girls 255 Gemach

Invitations 1200
stamps 275

Sheitels 5500 Two sheitels

Home Setup 1200 We bought some things cost price from Tiferes Devorah L'Kallah. Rest from local stores, online, etc….

Sheva Brachos Clothes 500 3 dresses
Underwear, etc… 200

Clothes for me, sisters 1000 We had YT clothes, got some new

55520

ETA - we did buy SIL a Menorah after wedding. We gave 1800.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Today at 1:14 pm

amother Cognac wrote:

Underwear, etc… 200

Just underwear for me and daughter for wedding gowns(not kallah but needed good support) were close to that Sad

And I wasn’t stocking a kallah up on good underwear and bras… slips, nightgowns…
Don’t know how all that fit into $200 for you?
I guess I just shop very differently.

amother

DarkMagenta

Today at 1:14 pm

amother OP wrote:

I really think this boils down to what crowd you are part of and it seems the chassidish are the most expensive ones and Yeshivish are a little less than that and ones who have registries, bridal showers get lots of their costs paid for.

Not to nitpick, but I'm nitpicking- anything over a 10k difference is more than a "little" less.
So yeshivish is less. Not just a little. Gifts & furniture alone is half the amount.

amother

↑ Cognac ↓

Today at 1:16 pm

amother OP wrote:

Just underwear for me and daughter for wedding gowns(not kallah but needed good support) were close to that Sad

And I wasn’t stocking a kallah up on good underwear and bras… slips, nightgowns…
Don’t know how all that fit into $200 for you?
I guess I just shop very differently.

Probably. For one DD doesn't wear nightgowns, and not much slips....bras, underwear online. She bought some pj's she wanted herself. She also had alot.