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Forum
-> Fashion and Beauty
What’s more important to you
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| Pretty |
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67% |
[ 99 ] |
| Skinny |
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32% |
[ 48 ] |
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| Total Votes : 147 |
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amother
DarkGreen
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 Today at 5:25 pm
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Not with regard for shidduchim but for myself. I would go for regular weight. Who needs skinny? Just regular healthy normal size - pipe dream for some of us.
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amother
Nasturtium
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Today at 5:36 pm
I thought this was a harmless “Would you rather” thread and I’m honestly a bit disgusted that it’s about shidduchim.
In any case, answering for myself, not shidduchim, I choose skinny. I’m considered pretty but I’ve been chasing 10-30 pounds off my frame with varying degrees of success since I was 13. I don’t need to be rail thin, but to me, a life where I’m not stressing over diets, pounds gained, fitting into my existing and new clothing I’d love to buy, how I’ll look at upcoming simchas and in general counting calories, fat carbs etc, where I can sit down at a meal and eat what I please without thinking about the scale, sounds like a dream come true.
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amother
Bluebonnet
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Today at 5:36 pm
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Neither of the above. I choose "smart" both in the sense of intelligent and in the sense of well-tailored and well-groomed.
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amother
Gardenia
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Today at 5:53 pm
I was a pretty skinny girl before I got married. And then I had kids and the weight piled up, and my size somehow turned into a 1x.
To those that look for skinny girls, I can bet you im far from the only one. I think middos and personality matters more than anything.
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amother
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Today at 6:01 pm
For the people writing they are pretty (but overweight) what makes you say you’re pretty?
Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. What are you considering pretty?
I don’t think anyone will come on here and say “I have an ugly face but I’m very skinny so skinny wins”. The people who I know irl who have ugly features don’t really realize it…
In any case, I think with good makeup, wigs, teeth makeover etc most people can make their face look pretty…. So with a skinny, hot body shape you can put effort into uplifting your face….. ( which is more successful than most people trying to lose weight) so skinny wins….
But , of course I prefer skinny and pretty facial features (Not for shudduchim…. I’m just talking what I consider beauty….)
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amother
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Today at 6:06 pm
| amother Valerian wrote: | For the people writing they are pretty (but overweight) what makes you say you’re pretty?
Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. What are you considering pretty?
I don’t think anyone will come on here and say “I have an ugly face but I’m very skinny so skinny wins”. The people who I know irl who have ugly features don’t really realize it… |
Really, what was your point of coming on here to bash plus girls. Whoever wants to feel pretty should be able to do so regardless of whoever else has a differing opinion of them.
And guess what, those who you think have “ugly features who don’t realize it” are possibily beautiful, maybe not to YOU, but to someone else. You’re contradicting yourself
I also think it’s rather untasteful to base your view of looks onto a general concept of beauty and assume that’s the standard as opposed to looking at what a person inside has to offer in terms of their values, middos, and so on.
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Busybee5
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Today at 6:09 pm
Pretty which I think I am bh especially with makeup, Shabbos sheitel etc.
But really middos trumps anything for shidduchim for my kids! It's not my decision anyway.
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amother
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Today at 6:14 pm
| amother Jean wrote: | Really, what was your point of coming on here to bash plus girls. Whoever wants to feel pretty should be able to do so regardless of whoever else has a differing opinion of them.
And guess what, those who you think have “ugly features who don’t realize it” are possibily beautiful, maybe not to YOU, but to someone else. You’re contradicting yourself
I also think it’s rather untasteful to base your view of looks onto a general concept of beauty and assume that’s the standard as opposed to looking at what a person inside has to offer in terms of their values, middos, and so on. |
I’m not bashing plus girls, I’m just curious how people think they can be judge of their own looks. I think we are all biased when it comes to our own looks (in a negative or positive way) that was my point.
True, people with ugly features may be considered beautiful. But again what I consider an ugly feature, they themselves like that they see.
My point was, we can’t be judge of our own looks. OP asked what the preference is skinny or pretty and everyone’s responses is mostly about themselves…. Not for what they consider beautiful on others…
And your last point. That’s why I said in parenthesis not when it comes to shidduchim. I’m just generally answering to OPs poll about pretty or skinny. I think the whole thing “for shidduchim” is dumb because of course shidduchim is not about looks but this thread is about the loooks aspect so that’s what I answered to……
Would def choose brains and middos over looks in regards to shidduchim but that’s a separate convo….
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amother
Latte
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Today at 6:22 pm
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We may not be able to fully judge our own looks, but most of us can tell if we're average or above. Also, when you're pretty, people comment, so you do have objective information.
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amother
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Today at 6:26 pm
| amother Valerian wrote: | | I’m not bashing plus girls, I’m just curious how people think they can be judge of their own looks. I think we are all biased when it comes to our own looks (in a negative or positive way) that was my point. |
Then why did you say it only about plus size women?
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amother
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Today at 6:27 pm
| amother Latte wrote: | | We may not be able to fully judge our own looks, but most of us can tell if we're average or above. Also, when you're pretty, people comment, so you do have objective information. |
It's also very unusual for people to have a positive bias about their looks. Most lean negative.
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amother
Lightcoral
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Today at 6:35 pm
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I am overweight I see how it effect every part of my life my energy back pain.. I don’t want a heavy girl for my skinny son… if we have a choice is another story
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amother
Pistachio
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Today at 6:36 pm
| amother OP wrote: | While I will have a say in who he meets, the last word is his.
A great girl that’s really not pretty will bother me…I’m sorry. I might continue the shidduch anyway, but it will bother.
A girl being a size 14-16 will not bother me. I know it will bother many other mechatenistes.
And that’s where I realized what I am more into between the 2. |
You won't be marrying your future daughter in law. You don't need to be attracted to her. Everyone is attracted to different things. Your son will choose someone who he's attracted to. She will be beautiful to him iyH. Don't worry about that part and leave it up to him.
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amother
Crimson
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Today at 6:38 pm
What about being Short? Is that a very big no-no?
My dd is 5 feet and in shidduchim, I really wonder if people don't consider her because of her height.
Never mind that she has sterling middos and is so wonderful all around.
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amother
Emerald
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Today at 7:16 pm
Mind me if you think its a weird questions but...
how do you know if your pretty? Don't we all think we're pretty? Just like all moms think their children are beautiful?
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amother
Alyssum
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Today at 7:18 pm
| amother OP wrote: | What’s more important to you?
In shidduchim? For yourself?
I know we’re not all vain, but what’s “more” important … |
Serious question- for who’s shidduchim? Women Are marrying women now? Last I checked only the boy getting married has to care what she looks like. This is the most ridiculous thread ever
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amother
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Today at 7:20 pm
| amother Emerald wrote: | Mind me if you think its a weird questions but...
how do you know if your pretty? Don't we all think we're pretty? Just like all moms think their children are beautiful? |
No not everyone thinks they're beautiful. I actually find the opposite. If you have gotten complimented on your beauty odds are you're beautiful. I have been told I'm beautiful by many people, but I don't think I'm particularly pretty. Think I'm pretty average looking.
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amother
Pear
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Today at 7:21 pm
| amother Gardenia wrote: | I was a pretty skinny girl before I got married. And then I had kids and the weight piled up, and my size somehow turned into a 1x.
To those that look for skinny girls, I can bet you im far from the only one. I think middos and personality matters more than anything. |
This gained up to 50 lbs during pregnancy and lost some regained again, and again BH.
Hopefully I can lose it again but really it’s not the most important thing at all.
Middos last!!
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amother
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Today at 7:26 pm
| amother OP wrote: | While I will have a say in who he meets, the last word is his.
A great girl that’s really not pretty will bother me…I’m sorry. I might continue the shidduch anyway, but it will bother.
A girl being a size 14-16 will not bother me. I know it will bother many other mechatenistes.
And that’s where I realized what I am more into between the 2. |
Again, so confused. Who cares what you find attractive when it comes to women? What if he doesn’t care about the face and wants a skeleton skinny girl? You should ask him one day what he feels is attractive.
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amother
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Today at 7:26 pm
| amother Jean wrote: | Sorry to all the plus girls reading this. There is too much wack on the internet. Speaking as a thin girl this comment was rude. This whole thread is disturbing. As Jewish ladies we can do more by not being so focused on weight and looks. And P.S. yes it’s mainly all in our heads and we need to work on accepting and loving ourselves and the truth is that men actually love ALL sizes and looks
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. |
Just wondering why sorry to all plus sized girls and not sorry to all non pretty girls?
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