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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> Preschoolers
amother
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 Yesterday at 6:53 pm
Since my daughter started labeling body parts, Ive taught her the correct terminology for all her privates as well, like v-lva, vag-na, etc. I also explained to her how its private and only totty mommy can touch it, and should only be uncovered in the bathroom. Recently I was watching her interact with a girl her age- she’s three now- and she told her “I need to go to the bathroom, and you can’t come cuz you can’t see my ‘gina” and the other kid was like “what’s a gina?”
Help! I’m nervous the other kid will go home and ask and the mom will be mad a me for letting my daughter ‘expose’ her daughter and I’ll be mortified… How can I explain to her that she shouldn’t be discussing these stuff with friends? Like in the moment I tried correcting her and saying “nobody can see what’s under your panty”… but I’m wondering if it wasn’t an age appropriate term to use? Or I taught her too early?
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amother
Jasmine
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Yesterday at 6:55 pm
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Yes she is too young. I would not teach that to a toddler
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amother
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Yesterday at 6:58 pm
| amother Jasmine wrote: | | Yes she is too young. I would not teach that to a toddler |
Oh man what do I do now? Honestly cuz she’s my oldest so just figuring it out…
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amother
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Yesterday at 7:00 pm
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You can’t teach toddlers words you don’t want them repeating. It’s really too late to do anything. You can say it’s a bathroom word and we only say it in the bathroom same way you teach tush is a bathroom word and we don’t go around using it with friends.
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gingleale
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Yesterday at 7:01 pm
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It is definitely not too young. Better to teach her now so she knows what is what and doesn't feel ashamed or embarrassed about her body.
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amother
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Yesterday at 7:01 pm
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Just curious why it was necessary to teach your daughter the term v@gina? She won't need to use it for a long time, why is it necessary to be part of her vocabulary? Vulva maybe...
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amother
Amaranthus
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Yesterday at 7:01 pm
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I also don't think there's any reason for totty to be allowed to touch her there, I teach my kids to wash their own private parts from a young age, and she should only need help with wiping in the back. Maybe the doctor?
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amother
Khaki
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Yesterday at 7:02 pm
Eh. If it’s important to you she learn the correct terms, then teach her from the jump. Just let her know that those words are words some of her friends won’t understand, so she can say “privates” instead.
This is the reason we didn’t teach ours, though. She went through a phase of shouting words over and over and I didn’t need her screaming those on the playground.
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amother
Periwinkle
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Yesterday at 7:02 pm
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I see nothing wrong with teaching correct terminology, but you can't teach her some things we don't talk about with other kids.
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amother
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Yesterday at 7:02 pm
| gingleale wrote: | | It is definitely not too young. Better to teach her now so she knows what is what and doesn't feel ashamed or embarrassed about her body. |
Not teaching words to a toddler doesn’t cause shame. Let’s not fear monger.
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kineret
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Yesterday at 7:06 pm
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I don’t think it’s too early. I taught my kids the proper terms as soon as they were old enough to wash themselves - that only they’re allowed to touch themselves etc
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tigerwife
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Yesterday at 7:08 pm
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Are you sure she understands which parts are which? It’s odd for her to tell her friend she might see her vag when she goes to the bathroom… that’s not a part that usually gets exposed.
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amother
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Yesterday at 7:10 pm
| tigerwife wrote: | | Are you sure she understands which parts are which? It’s odd for her to tell her friend she might see her vag when she goes to the bathroom… that’s not a part that usually gets exposed. |
People who insist on teaching early tend to teach it wrong. They don’t teach it as the third hole between the other two that period blood and a baby come out of.. they teach it as a place you urinate from which is very wrong and is so difficult to unteach when they need to know what a v-gina actually is.
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amother
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Yesterday at 7:15 pm
| amother Amaranthus wrote: | | I also don't think there's any reason for totty to be allowed to touch her there, I teach my kids to wash their own private parts from a young age, and she should only need help with wiping in the back. Maybe the doctor? |
Me and my husband still take turns supervising/helping with bath time, and not sure I trust her to wash herself properly if she can’t keep the water in the bathtub lol…
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amother
Blue
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Yesterday at 7:16 pm
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I don’t get this obsession with correct body parts for tiny kids. Do these kids also also say they need to have a bowel movement or need to urinate?
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giftedmom
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Yesterday at 7:17 pm
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Yeah this is the reason I tell my toddlers it’s a “private”
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amother
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Yesterday at 7:18 pm
| amother Crocus wrote: | | People who insist on teaching early tend to teach it wrong. They don’t teach it as the third hole between the other two that period blood and a baby come out of.. they teach it as a place you urinate from which is very wrong and is so difficult to unteach when they need to know what a v-gina actually is. |
So was I supposed to teach her the word urethra also? Bring a diagram with all three holes? Or not teach her any of it at this age? I feel like it’s just as much unteaching to switch from terms like private parts or tushy to the correct anatomical terms… dunno
Also most people can’t feel their urethra, usually if she’s touching down there that’s what it is…
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tigerwife
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Yesterday at 7:22 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | So was I supposed to teach her the word urethra also? Bring a diagram with all three holes? Or not teach her any of it at this age? I feel like it’s just as much unteaching to switch from terms like private parts or tushy to the correct anatomical terms… dunno |
The vaginal canal specifically is something that will only be relevant to her when she is a tween. I don’t see the need to teach that to a three year old. If you meant vulva, stick to vulva. She’s way too young to know about the specific functions. Too many people mistake the entire genital area as “vag”.
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tf
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Yesterday at 7:22 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | Oh man what do I do now? Honestly cuz she’s my oldest so just figuring it out… |
Part of teaching kids is also teaching them that private discussions are not to have with friends. This is a big fat secret. I'm not commenting on when to have this discussion. I'm only trying to help you remedy what you want to fix
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amother
Daisy
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Yesterday at 7:24 pm
| amother Crocus wrote: | | People who insist on teaching early tend to teach it wrong. They don’t teach it as the third hole between the other two that period blood and a baby come out of.. they teach it as a place you urinate from which is very wrong and is so difficult to unteach when they need to know what a v-gina actually is. | Yup this. It's vulva and there's no reason for a toddler to know what a "gina" is.
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