To send to playgroup or keep home

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Toddlers

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amother

OP ↓

Sun, Oct 27 2024, 8:42 am

Obviously not making my decision based on imamother responses. Just want to hear people out so I decide.
My baby will be turning 2 in early July. This is my first baby I’ve been able to be home with bh. I’m deciding now whether to sign up for playgroup for next year. I know it’s the common choice to send a two year old out but a part of me wants to keep my baby home with me one more year. My hesitation is that I’m not the go getter active type. I’m a real homebody. We spend most of our time literally at home. It’s a very slow placed day. Many days I don’t even end up leaving the house. I have some mild mental health challenges I guess and part of that can be not wanting to leave the house. However I’m a very good mother if I may say so. I play on the floor with my baby, talk to my baby all day. Sit next to the. High chair while my baby is eating etc. sometimes things get neglected housework wise because I’m attentive to my baby. Is this unhealthy for my child? Does a two year old must must go out every day? I do notice this baby is way more attached to me than others and isn’t comfortable around strangers. My older kids come home starting at 3:30-4 and then the baby gets lots of social time but not with kids the same age obviously. Is this enough? My gut tells me that it’s ok and the most important thing is that my baby feels safe and loved. I just worry maybe I’m holding back because of my tendency to be home etc. also sending my baby out to playgroup would mean going back to work which I really don’t want to. So I hope I’m not putting those needs before my baby’s.
I know this was long and rambling so I appreciate you hearing me out. What’s your opinion and or experience

amother

Ghostwhite ↓

Sun, Oct 27 2024, 8:45 am

No a two year old does not need to be sent out. Many moms need it at that point (I sent my 2 year old to a morah two days a week because I needed some days to myself), but if you’re spending quality time with him, enjoy another year together with him at home! You sound like a great mom ☺️

giftedmom

Sun, Oct 27 2024, 8:46 am

Whoever sends out toddlers, including me, are doing it for themselves. Two year olds don’t have to go out.

Genius

Sun, Oct 27 2024, 8:47 am

If you are ok with the arrangement and the baby seems ok with the arrangement, why would you send to playgroup? IMO being home with your toddler is lachitchila.
I send when I don’t have the patience to keep the kids company all day, and my youngest is a social butterfly who needed other kids his age so I didn’t even hesitate.

amother

Forestgreen

Sun, Oct 27 2024, 8:49 am

I work in a day care. From 6 months until 2.5.
No 2 year olds are being sent out just to be sent out. They are being sent out because both parents are working.
If you are home, I would leave the child home. No need for a 2 year old to be playing alone with other 2 year olds playing alone. At that age, they play a bit with other kids if they are there, but will not miss out if they are not with others. Most at that age are still playing alone even with others in the same play area.

amother

Chocolate

Sun, Oct 27 2024, 8:52 am

From what I understand, after 18 months a kid gets good socialization in a group setting.

amother

Lightgreen ↓

Sun, Oct 27 2024, 8:53 am

I disagree with those that say sending out at 2 is for yourself, not the toddler.
A toddler with older siblings gets used to having people around and the hustle and bustle of a busy household. As they drop naps they tend to get bored and need constant attention and stimulation. Peers of their age are also good for development purposes.
That doesn't mean you need to send them out all day every day if you have an alternative option.

TravelHearter

Sun, Oct 27 2024, 8:53 am

Echoing what others said, just keep in mind your child won’t be two that whole year. Turning three that July…at that point I would try to get out a little and have some interactions with other three year olds, like a play area etc so your child can learn some social skills like sharing etc before starting school.

amother

↑ Ghostwhite ↓

Sun, Oct 27 2024, 8:54 am

amother Chocolate wrote:

From what I understand, after 18 months a kid gets good socialization in a group setting.

Totally not needed at that age. Bonding with mommy is much more beneficial.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Oct 27 2024, 8:55 am

To clarify a little more detail. It’s a huge sacrifice for me to be home. Were very tight but it was very important for me to not send this baby out and bh I recognize it’s a privilege I could even contemplate making it work.
If I would send this baby out it would definitely mean I would be going to back to work. And yes that would ease financials a little bit. A very part time playgroup wouldn’t be an option. I wouldn’t be able to get something so part time that it would make sense. I also can’t afford to send out at all if I’m not working… so it’s a regular playgroup full day or nothing.
All of you sending out bec you need it.. that also makes me worried that maybe I don’t know what I’m getting myself into keeping a full two year old at home. A 2.5 year old is different than a 15 month old. How will I know that I won’t go crazy like some of you are saying was the case for you.

amother

Blue

Sun, Oct 27 2024, 8:56 am

I kept my 2 yr olds home while I had another baby as well.
I was considered the crunchy mom being home with 2 babies. ( I have more kids too)
I loved it and will always keep home my babies until they start school.
When I was young I thought I must send out the older one because you can't stay home with 2 babies.
I have to admit my kept at home babies have an extra dose of healthy attachment and emotional wellbeing to themselves. And they are smart kids. Mom is the BEST teacher in those early sensitive years while they are truly molding.

Happy decision making!!

amother

Watermelon

Sun, Oct 27 2024, 8:57 am

If your 2 year old is happy with you at home, then keep them home! They don't require peers as much at this age. And if your toddler is happy staying in the house, then that's fine too. I had one toddler who was super happy to stay in the house all day and play with what we have at home, and another who asks to go outside a dozen times a day - if the toddler is happy playing on the floor with you all day then that's just fine. If you are both happy with the arrangement, trust your gut and keep the toddler home. If things change for you or your toddler at some point, you can always send them out later.

amother

Mimosa

Sun, Oct 27 2024, 10:21 am

My kids already needed more stimulation. I think I would look into a hybrid option. Some ideas.

Finding a playgroup that is willing to take your kid for certain days of the week. Just a warning your kid may take a longer time to adjust and will be confusing for awhile. Bit you will have days she will be entirely home with you. Toddler may feel she's missing out both at home and in playgroup

Playgroup willing to take for less hours the this way she spend time with you and time at playgroup. Toddler may feel like she's missing out both at home and in playgroup

Round Robin group.-if your up to it. This goes by different names bit it's basically finding a group of 3-5 other kids and every mother does a different day in their house. If you could find 2 other kids that could work very well for you you send your daughter out for 2 days to the other families and you bring the other 2 kids to a play date by you. Then you keep the kid home two other days usually Friday and 1 more. This has a lot of positives, kid doesn't feel like missing out and has who to play with. The kid may be possessive at your house and you have to be willing to be involved and have other kids over.

If your in Brooklyn their is an adorable mommy and me program where once a week a worker comes to play with your child in an age appropriate way and your kid goes to the program for an 1 hour a second day doing age appropriate activities.

I find while you could entertain a toddler all morning until the sibling come home. It's best when the toddler has peers their own age. I find the toddler could get board when I use the bathroom or turn my back to get his food. Each kid is different. But at even younger then 2 my toddler would stand at the door when my husband or siblings left for the day crying to go out. I used to go out until nap time even in the coldest of winter. You can't keep your toddler in the house all day. I found it very healthy for me, the mother to be child's main caregiver. With others outside the family interacting with the child also.

amother

Tealblue

Sun, Oct 27 2024, 10:26 am

I would go off the personality of your dc. Some children are more energetic, high energy and need high levels of stimulation, whilst others are content to be at home. The first type of child probably would benefit from going to playgroup.
Also if you would feel up to going out-are there any mom and baby groups in your area? When my youngest was a toddler, I took them to storytime at the library, there was a couple of other mom and baby groups that I went sporadically to. That can provide enough for your child over the week, without a playgroup.

amother

Peony

Sun, Oct 27 2024, 10:29 am

A 2 year old doesn’t NEED to be sent out but they are generally not so happy that age being home all day. It’s rare for a 2 year old to be happy with the current routine you described. If you’re a SAHM to a 2 year old then I think it’s your responsibility to be taking them to mommy and me groups, parks, libraries etc. This is my opinion as a SAHM with a few kids BH. 2 year olds also many times thrive in a small high quality playgroup for 4-6 hours a day (not all will thrive, but many will. It’s personality based).

amother

DarkGray

Sun, Oct 27 2024, 10:33 am

amother OP wrote:

I believe kids shouls be with their mom until they talk well. So my daughter went when she was 3 and now looking back I wish I had waited until she was 3 1/2. Kids under the age of 3 dont play together. They play next to eachother. You should go outside once a day though. Kids need fresh air and they need to run/ride bikes/scooters etc. And just be active. I went out once or twice a day even though I have anxiety and it was very difficult for me.
Will never regret keeping her home, it was good for her. Young kids shouls be with their parents imo

amother

↑ Lightgreen

Sun, Oct 27 2024, 10:42 am

You need to take into account that your child will be 2 in July. That means by the time yomim tovim is over s/he is almost 2.5.
As kids get older peer play and stimulation are more important.
You need to see the year as a whole. Not just the baby now or in September because unfortunately starting playgroup midyear isnt usually a viable option even if it may be whats best for the child

Ruchel

Sun, Oct 27 2024, 10:44 am

I send when there is boredom. Some kids need it very early. My first tried to play with any kid we met during errands. It was really obvious. No, playgrounds don't help, not when there deserted except on weekend. Some of my others didn't go until pre gan.

Part time is the best. Unfortunately rare

Last edited by Ruchel on Sun, Oct 27 2024, 11:07 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Oct 27 2024, 10:55 am

It’s so hard to make this decision now for in a year from now. They change so much. Right now I can’t imagine my crawling baby who says two words and still nurses to not be home with me. Other mothers I speak to think I’m nuts and can’t wait to be able to send their kids out

amother

Coffee ↓

Sun, Oct 27 2024, 10:55 am

With regards to being sent out as developmental
https://www.instagram.com/reel.....0cXUw
Children at age 2-3 have a developmental anxiety of parents leaving them. I would wait to send out until 3. if you are able to be at home with them, it is better as per development

And there is no reason not to be able to work on yourself to achieve goals at home like organization or go out on occasional walks!

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