Tell daughter that I'm on my period?

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Oct 21 2024, 9:42 pm

amother Powderblue wrote:

I would have waited a while longer. Why did you tell her so early? I’d tell her she has about 2 years to go. It actually does work to tell an anxious person that we aren’t talking/ thinking/ obsessing over this all day.

She's 11, I don't think I told her too early. There's no way to know when she'd get her period. Even if she's barely developed, it doesn't mean that she has 2 more years to go.

↑ Raizle ↓

Mon, Oct 21 2024, 9:43 pm

chestnut wrote:

Not marriage curing cramps but relations life.
My cramps didn't go away after marriage or having a baby Sad

More like pregnancy and having a baby
relations doesn't cure cramps either

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Oct 21 2024, 9:44 pm

amother Geranium wrote:

My mom never rly outright told me (maybe in passing idk) but I knew when she had it from the pad wrappers in the garbage. Are you sure she doesn’t realize?

I don't dispose pads in the kitchen trash can.

amother

DarkPurple

Mon, Oct 21 2024, 9:44 pm

I don’t see anything wrong with telling her. It’s good to normalize it as a wonderful part of growing up and a sign that the body HaShem gave her is working well. I was not at all anxious about getting my period. I was actually really excited and kind of envious of the girls who got it first(I was 12.5 but a friend had it at 10 and another around 11.) There was a lot of discussion in camp around this topic. After a year, the excitement wore off as I began to get seriously debilitating cramps and I was really sick every month (motrin was a prescription medication at the time and my mother didn’t want me to take it.) The thing that saved me was when motrin became an over the counter drug my senior year in high school. That was life changing. My aunt, who was a nurse, did tell me that when I grew up and had a baby, the cramps would lessen. She was correct. Do you think getting her an age appropriate book might be helpful? Could her pediatrician reassure her?

amother

↑ Geranium ↓

Mon, Oct 21 2024, 9:45 pm

amother OP wrote:

I don't dispose pads in the kitchen trash can.

My mom didn’t either. We shared bathrooms growing up. Parents didn’t have their own.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Oct 21 2024, 9:45 pm

amother Powderblue wrote:

Yes girls get it earlier but it’s the last step in puberty, so if she doesn’t have breasts and pubic hair she’s not close to getting it. It’s 2 years from when breast buds start. And with anxious kids it’s not necessarily a great idea to tell them that far in advance.

This really is not a general statement. Some girls develop at a fast rate. There's no way to know exactly when a girl will get her period.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Oct 21 2024, 9:46 pm

amother Geranium wrote:

My mom didn’t either. We shared bathrooms growing up. Parents didn’t have their own.

I have a master bathroom.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Oct 21 2024, 9:49 pm

chestnut wrote:

LOL some families don't have a separate bathroom for the parents

That was a response to a poster that asked me if my daughter doesn't see pads in the trash can.

↑ Raizle ↓

Mon, Oct 21 2024, 9:51 pm

amother Powderblue wrote:

Preteen is the right age to tell.
Not all mother's know when their girls have pubic hair and not all girls bud before period.
She's going to hear about it regardless so if she's anxious then better her mother prepares her appropriately

amother

Nasturtium

Mon, Oct 21 2024, 10:04 pm

amother OP wrote:

Of course I told her that if she's in pain, we'll take care of her.
I did not tell her that it's a walk in the park. I told her that most women girls just go on with life when on their period & you can't notice when someone is on their period or not. She's very worried that she'd become an invalid & won't be able to do anything while on her period.

My dd is 21 and sometimes her period is so painful that even with aleve she needs to be in bed the first day. There is no way to know if she will experience the same.

amother

↑ Geranium

Mon, Oct 21 2024, 10:07 pm

amother OP wrote:

That was a response to a poster that asked me if my daughter doesn't see pads in the trash can.

Do you have a bathroom on the main level that she uses? Idk maybe to get her used to it or like it’s no big deal maybe sometimes dispose in that garbage? Idk if it will help or not.

amother

Royalblue

Mon, Oct 21 2024, 10:10 pm

Op you do the right thing by telling her. Development can happen quickly or catch you by surprise. I was 10 when I got it. I make sure my daughter's know by 8. You also want them to know from you before they hear from others.
Children with anxiety can be tough. My anxious child is male so we don't have period issues... I do find though discussing the worst case scenarios that can happen and how there are solutions to all the problems can be helpful.

amother

Razzmatazz

Mon, Oct 21 2024, 10:28 pm

amother Powderblue wrote:

This is incorrect. It can show up on the earlier end of puberty with very little warning. Happened to me, and to quite a few friends of mine. I was 11, had started developing a little but not much. I did know about periods but assumed I had time. I didn't. I grew 3 more inches and 4 more cup sizes AFTER getting my first period. So no, you can't assume that it will come last or that there is time because a girl doesn't look so far along in puberty.

amother

Peru

Mon, Oct 21 2024, 10:39 pm

amother Razzmatazz wrote:

This. I barely had any breast buds for a few months and no hair anywhere when I got my period at 11.

amother

Linen ↓

Tue, Oct 22 2024, 2:35 am

Raizle wrote:

More like pregnancy and having a baby
relations doesn't cure cramps either

My daughter's pediatrician told us she will have less cramping and feel better "when she starts taking bc pills." This could be the reason your symptoms lessen after marriage maybe.

↑ smss

Tue, Oct 22 2024, 2:40 am

amother OP wrote:

Yes, she's an anxious kid in general. She can't handle the unknown either.

Is she in therapy for the anxiety? Anxiety tends to get worse over time without treatment.

amother

Dustypink ↓

Tue, Oct 22 2024, 3:52 am

amother Linen wrote:

On a related topic, do I share with my kallah daughter that I'm after menopause when talking about her kallah lessons?

What ever would that be needed for?