Rebetzen in shul | Imamother

justforfun87

Tue, Oct 15 2024, 8:48 am

I don't agree with people who hire non jewish babysitters on YK so they can go daven. My friend told me her nany was coming over to watch her toddler and infant cause her YK is enhanced at shul. Maybe the Rebbetzin has young children?

familyfirst

Tue, Oct 15 2024, 8:11 pm

Even if the shuk is hiring a rabbinical couple, I do t think it means the Rebbetzin is on duty as her husband is. It means the rabbi is a married man who has the support of his wife, who is involved in the community. No detailed hours.

This sounds like a cultural thing. I’d this is Europe, is the Rebbetzin expected to be there?

Your Rebbetzin sounds like her family needed her. Sounds like a role model to me!

amother

Amethyst ↓

Tue, Oct 15 2024, 8:20 pm

I have a friend who is a Rebbetzin of a shul. She goes to shul every single week on Shabbos morning even though she has young children.
I honestly don’t think it’s a good thing at all, I think she’s a slave to succeed at her position, to be successful in life. It’s hard.

amother

Gold

Tue, Oct 15 2024, 8:33 pm

On this note, our Rebbetzin (yes the Rabbi is paid) was in shul rosh hashana and Yom Kippur, but didn’t turn around at all the entire Yom Tov to acknowledge people and make them feel welcome. Maybe I’m expecting too much, but it bothered me. I thought she should be making people feel welcome, make sure everyone has a seat, etc. but maybe I have unrealistic expectations from growing up ina. Shul whose Rebbetzin was extraordinarily welcoming.

amother

Butterscotch

Tue, Oct 15 2024, 8:37 pm

amother Gold wrote:

It’s such a personality thing too… that warm gracious rebbetzin we all want to have in our shul.

Growing up the shul rebetzin hosted often, greeted everyone, very warm and gracious- she didn’t give lectures but gave great advice if you spoke with her she was older so up to grandma stage,

I think someone with young kids on YK it’s understandable not to be there during the day, maybe for kol nedri- if she had to be home with babies it’s very much understandable.

amother

Daffodil

Tue, Oct 15 2024, 8:38 pm

amother Gold wrote:

But is the rebbetzin paid?

And what was she doing? Was she looking into her machzor and davening? If so, how could she have also been making people feel welcome? And what was the seat situation? If there was a chart with seat names, what was her role; and if there wasn't a chart, why couldn't people just take an available seat?

I assume the rabbi spent davening time ... davening. It puzzles me that you expect differently of his wife.

amother

Pink

Wed, Oct 16 2024, 12:21 am

amother Gold wrote:

In our shul we have an older Rebbetzin. She doesn’t lift her eyes from her siddur and davens so fervently. It is so inspiring. Especially to the girls there. I can’t imagine her interrupting her davening to turn around to help ppl.
Would expect the rav to go around helping ppl during davening?

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Oct 16 2024, 2:15 am

justforfun87 wrote:

I told my friend that if I were visiting my MIL and she hired a random unfamiliar non-Jew to care for my kids, it would have been my last visit.
The issue for me personally is not only non-Jew, but also as a visitor, your kids cannot be taken care of by a stranger. They came to visit the grandparents, not to be left with a sitter.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Oct 16 2024, 2:18 am

chestnut wrote:

OP said they're a hired rabbinical couple, which is different than a hired Rabbi. I'm sure her/their contract explains her responsibilities.

As I said, in my country we get paid sick leave so rebetzen can officially stay home one day to be sick or care for a sick family member, that would be legal.

↑ Bnei Berak 10

Wed, Oct 16 2024, 2:46 am

amother Gold wrote:

IMHO you have unrealistic expectations.
Doesn't your shul allocate seats prior YK?

happyone

Wed, Oct 16 2024, 6:40 am

Why would it even matter to you? If you cared about her, pick up the phone and say, "I missed you in shul, checking up how you fasted and if you are OK. Gut yom tov"
Other than total care or worry, a rebbetzin has a life despite the fact that her husband is a rabbi. She could be ill, reading trash or not in the mood of meeting people.

amother

↑ Amethyst ↓

Wed, Oct 16 2024, 7:00 am

amother OP wrote:

As I said, in my country we get paid sick leave so rebetzen can officially stay home one day to be sick or care for a sick family member, that would be legal.

Legal as in halacha or court?
Since when is davening in shul a legal matter.
Halacha is between her and Gd. I’m sure davened at home, she isn’t obligated to daven in shul.

amother

↑ OP

Wed, Oct 16 2024, 7:09 am

amother Amethyst wrote:

Legal as in halacha or court?
Since when is davening in shul a legal matter.
Halacha is between her and Gd. I’m sure davened at home, she isn’t obligated to daven in shul.

SomeonE brought up the contract so I explained that it wouldn’t have been against the contract.

↑ Chayalle

Wed, Oct 16 2024, 7:40 am

amother Gold wrote:

In our shul we expect people to be davening, and there's a clear seating chart/diagram and also extra seats so there's no need for her to make sure everyone has a seat.
Our Rebbetzin is a very special person, and she is warm and acknowledging on her way out after davening, which is more than enough.
I also want to add that other people in the shul are warm and welcoming; it's not only the Rebbetzin's job.

zaq

Wed, Oct 16 2024, 11:07 am

Unless the rabbi's contract includes his wife and stipulates that she must attend the shul at whatever intervals, whether she attends shul or not is nobody's business but hers.

amother

↑ Amethyst

Wed, Oct 16 2024, 11:27 am

It’s nobody’s business unless she committed in a contract.
If she does, it’s like a Rebbi’s wife typing out his sheets. She’s helping her dh create a nice vibe.
But honestly yom Kippur is for davening, not like a social melava malka gathering….