5 year old climbs on adults

amother

OP ↓

Tue, Oct 15 2024, 3:58 am

My 5 year old is constantly climbing on his uncles and aunts, or jumping on them.
Some are ok with it and think it is cute, and some find it annoying.
I keep trying to force a boundary like before we see them I say- we can sit next to xyz, we can give xyz a hug but if we jump or climb on them, it hurts cuz we aren't a baby anymore.
But of course when we get there, he is climbing and jumping all over their laps.

Any advice?

amother

Candycane

Tue, Oct 15 2024, 6:15 am

I would keep reinforcing how you’re all so proud of how grown up he is. Explain again how big kids give hugs but he’s getting so grown up that it hurts if he climbs on the people who love him. Does he need extra reassurance and love? Would he benefit from a stuffed animal that he could hold and hug?

amother

Denim

Tue, Oct 15 2024, 6:20 am

How is he at home? Does he climb/ jump around furniture too?

I'm wondering if there is a sensory seeking aspect here, I'm addition to being super excited to see his aunts and uncles.

Also, What are you doing to enforce the boundary? He needs to be redirected in the moment.

amother

Dimgray

Tue, Oct 15 2024, 6:34 am

wouldn't you hate it if someone's 5 yo child did that to you?

I would get strict with my child if they did this because someone could get hurt.
You can say, don't do this, or if you don't stop doing this you have to leave the room.
It's not appropriate at all.

amother

Puce

Tue, Oct 15 2024, 6:43 am

it needs to stop it's not okay on many levels does he have adhd? can you get him to get his energy out before visiting? take him to park for an hour before or do jumping jacks outside?

singleagain ↓

Tue, Oct 15 2024, 7:11 am

amother OP wrote:

Could the fact that some are ok with it and some not be confusing? Like why can I jump on my uncle but not my aunt? I'm making this comparison 100 times lehavdil... But if you are trying to train a puppy not to jump on ppl you have to be consistent. No to everyone. Maybe you have to do the same with your kid.

amother

Amaranthus

Tue, Oct 15 2024, 7:30 am

They should also enforce the rule. For those who allow climbing, my rule is the kid can do it once at the end of their stay. They help me enforce the rule and don’t allow more climbing than that.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Tue, Oct 15 2024, 9:15 am

amother Candycane wrote:

I'm pretty sure it's playful. We have set boundaries at home like we need to ask people before plopping down on their laps, and he keeps to them. I think it's because the younger kids that are babies or toddlers do it so why can't he.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Tue, Oct 15 2024, 9:17 am

singleagain wrote:

I feel like this is definitely a possibility. I think I have to speak to the ones that are ok with it, but I know that will just cause family drama but you gotta do what you gotta do...

amother

↑ OP

Tue, Oct 15 2024, 9:20 am

amother OP wrote:

I feel like this is definitely a possibility. I think I have to speak to the ones that are ok with it, but I know that will just cause family drama but you gotta do what you gotta do...

To expand on this, my mil doesn't get these things so if she hears I asked her daughter kindly to not let hik climb all over her, she will just need to know why I'm being melodramatic. She finds it cute when the child climbs all over ppl. I clearly don't.

amother

Pansy ↓

Tue, Oct 15 2024, 9:22 am

singleagain wrote:

Because such is life. There are things some people are ok with and some aren't.

amother

Green ↓

Tue, Oct 15 2024, 9:22 am

I’d remove him immediately. I’d also take him to another room and say he can climb on the bed/ chair whatever but we aren’t leaving until he’s done with the climbing because we don’t climb on people. So let me know when you don’t need to climb on anyone and then we can go back out there. And I’d keep repeating it until he gets the message.

amother

↑ Pansy ↓

Tue, Oct 15 2024, 9:23 am

amother OP wrote:

So what's the problem? Does he accept a "no"?

amother

Amber

Tue, Oct 15 2024, 9:26 am

amother OP wrote:

For heavens sake he's 5. Let him be.

I made many mistakes with my older children. The biggest one was to think that because they have younger siblings they are now considered big.

If he would do this at 10 it would be concerning.
He's literally 5. Take a few deep breaths.

amother

↑ Green ↓

Tue, Oct 15 2024, 9:31 am

Can I just say I went somewhere once and their 5 year old touched us and climbed on us and they all just smiled and said he’s always like this. I did not appreciate it and I thought it wasn’t ok for them to not stop him. It’s not like a 1 year old where it’s normal for them to not understand to not touch people.

amother

↑ Pansy

Tue, Oct 15 2024, 10:12 am

amother Amber wrote:

It's not appropriate for a 5 yo

amother

↑ Green

Tue, Oct 15 2024, 10:21 am

amother NeonPink wrote:

I don't get the big deal.

So I’ll break it down for you. Most adults don’t want to be climbed on. Do you know how big a 5 year old boy is?? As a parent it’s not ok to say I don’t see the big deal I’m not stopping my kid from climbing all over you. It’s not a normal behavior anyone should have to put up with and it’s not a normal reaction for you to not care that it bothers 95% of the world to have their bodies used that way.

↑ singleagain

Tue, Oct 15 2024, 11:39 am

amother Pansy wrote:

Because such is life. There are things some people are ok with and some aren't.

And depending on the 5-year-old they may or may not understand that.

Sometimes you're going to have to set a stronger boundary for a certain children until they are old enough to understand that some and some.

My non-religious aunts used to come visit us on shabbos until we started questioning why they were driving on Shabbat even parking a block away they were still too far to really walk. so my mom had them stop for a short while until we became old enough to understand the distinction that there's some and some