Don't the kollel men have off during the day now?!

amother

Ballota

Mon, Oct 14 2024, 11:40 am

I had it with my next door neighbor and really had to bite my tongue. Also really nice people but just on a very different schedule then me. I remember one Chol Hamoed night when his singing and tapping with this foot woke me up. His foot kept banging into a table or a chair cuz each tap was LOUD. Dh was sleeping in the sukkah in our courtyard. I had woken with a start, the noise startled me, baby was up etc etc. I was not a happy camper. I felt like an old grouch but did yell shhh out of my window.

Sometimes it just pays to say something, hey do you think you can finish up earlier tonight? My baby is a sensitive sleeper and you probably didn't realize that the hammer/drill is waking him. Calm and with a smile.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Oct 14 2024, 11:40 am

Chayalle wrote:

I do think after 10 is rude and should not be done, but 7 pm is a reasonable time to put up a Succah. Maybe now is when his kids can help (they may be in school during the day), etc....I know we put up our Succah around 6-8 pm which is what worked for us. It's not all Kollel/learning vs. Putting up Succah, there are other variables as well.

He has older boys and they are definitely not in school/yeshiva at the moment.
They're all off, bein hazmanim! I have big boys too so I know. Who knows why they leave it so late.

amother

Olive

Mon, Oct 14 2024, 11:45 am

My boys are building sukkahs for people and they do multiple ones in one day. So yes there will be some outdoor noise past 7pm. A lot of today's sukkahs don't require that much banging like the wooden boards used to but there still sounds of moving around and shepping. You're being a bit unreasonable to expect quiet at 7pm.

Ema of 5 ↓

Mon, Oct 14 2024, 12:03 pm

amother OP wrote:

Why does it have to be one or the other? I'll gladly hear the yom tov sounds during the day.
People need to be more considerate of others!!

No one is saying what he’s doing is right, but you get to decide how YOU react. You can either be upset about it, and it will possibly affect how you interact with your husband and kids, how you interacts with them, and how you approach Yom tov, or you can try to be Dan lekaf zechus and try not to affect you too badly.

↑ Ema of 5 ↓

Mon, Oct 14 2024, 12:07 pm

amother OP wrote:

He has older boys and they are definitely not in school/yeshiva at the moment.
They're all off, bein hazmanim! I have big boys too so I know. Who knows why they leave it so late.

Chances are there is actually a very good reason. I mean, 7:00 is after a full day of whatever else has been going on, so he’s probably tired but knows it has to get done.

Elfrida

Mon, Oct 14 2024, 12:10 pm

This comes up every year. Some people know it's a problem, but they have no other time. Some genuinely do t even realise that it bothers other people. Most of us have some habit that unwittingly annoys others. You can either ask them to stop, or put up with it, and frequently both.

At least when it's building a sukkah, you know it will be over soon.

amother

Steelblue

Mon, Oct 14 2024, 12:57 pm

Sorry op 7pm is part of life. No one has to tiptoe around your schedule. As others suggested get a white noise machine. Most areas construction is ok until 10pm

happytobemom

Mon, Oct 14 2024, 1:03 pm

I hear you op, after 10 is not okay. BUT -
Don't be busy trying to figure out their schedule.
Just because you know that he's in kollel so he's off during the day, there are a million and one reasons he could have for doing things later. Same with their children. Their schedule is none of your business.

amother

Hotpink ↓

Mon, Oct 14 2024, 1:25 pm

Op ironically by us it's the Kollel men who are doing it by day and the working men who are doing it by eve/night.

Maybe change the subject.....

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Oct 14 2024, 2:36 pm

amother Seagreen wrote:

7pm? Lol thats not night.
Your house is all quiet by 7pm on a regular day??

No need to be mean.
No of course not! I have teens and also a very tired toddler who's often in bed by 7pm. A very difficult toddler actually. And I'm going to be sleeping in hospital with another child tomorrow night so I guess I'll get a break from the banging, but I doubt I'll be sleeping much.

amother

↑ OP

Mon, Oct 14 2024, 2:37 pm

amother Hotpink wrote:

Op ironically by us it's the Kollel men who are doing it by day and the working men who are doing it by eve/night.

Maybe change the subject.....

No I'll be keeping the title the same because this particular neighbour is in kollel.

amother

Cognac

Mon, Oct 14 2024, 7:09 pm

amother OP wrote:

No I'll be keeping the title the same because this particular neighbour is in kollel.

why is his occupation relevant?
sounds like youre looking to bash...
(and no my husband is not in kollel)

amother

Denim

Mon, Oct 14 2024, 7:22 pm

I remeber one year my neighbor was taking DOWN the sukka at night. Loud banging and all. Before sukkos...ok I'd have to be DLKZ that they dont have time by day, but AFTER sukkos?! Yes some people are truly clueless.

amother

↑ Seagreen

Mon, Oct 14 2024, 7:26 pm

amother OP wrote:

No I'll be keeping the title the same because this particular neighbour is in kollel.

Sounds like this whole thread is a cover for kollel bashing. Like youre upset they have off and wasting time at least they should do something useful.

amother

Burntblack

Mon, Oct 14 2024, 7:30 pm

amother Seagreen wrote:

Sounds like this whole thread is a cover for kollel bashing. Like youre upset they have off and wasting time at least they should do something useful.

I don't see it this way. She was asking why he's building at 10pm if he's off during the day due to being in kollel. If he was working all day, it would be more clear to her why.

My husband is off from kollel and he's watching our kids all day while I work, because I don't get off. Our sukka building doesn't involve much banging, though....

Maybe he didn't realize how far away you could hear the banging? Maybe after realizing it makes so much noise at 10pm, he stopped and made sure to do it the next day 3 hours earlier?

amother

DarkCyan

Tue, Oct 15 2024, 12:08 am

When dh was in kollel, even bein hazmanim he usually would learn in the morning, so he wasn't free then. In the afternoon he was typically with the kids while I was still working, and often running errands. And the only time he had available would be the evening. Now that he works he has even less free time.
I think there's so many reasons why someone wouldn't have time in the day to build that I think you can find a way to be dlz. And I don't think it really matters whether they're working or in kollel.

amother

Cappuccino ↓

Tue, Oct 15 2024, 12:29 am

amother Jasmine wrote:

Then please understand that you have a luxury that many employees don't have.
Taking a day off to build the sukka, is an insane expectation & impossible for many.

She literally said he's a kollelnik and is off right now.

amother

↑ Cappuccino ↓

Tue, Oct 15 2024, 12:33 am

amother Cognac wrote:

why is his occupation relevant?
sounds like youre looking to bash...
(and no my husband is not in kollel)

It's relevant because if he is in kollel then by definition he is on vacation right now so that he can get ready for Sukkot. Which means there's no reason for him to be doing it at a time that comes at the expense of the neighbors' sleep (and next day).

Now if he were working then there WOULD be a reason, because he would NOT have off right now and thus he would have no other choice but to build his sukka at night, or not have one at all. So unless you are offering to build it for him for free, you don't really get to demand that he not build it at night. Because he's not off right now, he works and presumably can't get off for sukka-building.

So yes in this case it's 100% difference

amother

↑ Hotpink ↓

Tue, Oct 15 2024, 12:40 am

amother Cappuccino wrote:

She literally said he's a kollelnik and is off right now.

He can be doing so many things during the day like watching the kids or cooking for YT or learning during the day so that there is learning every hour and most people will be learning at night. Being in Kollel is irrelevant. It doesn't mean they are sitting on their tuchuses until 7 and then deciding to build.

The title could have easily been written as 'building a sukkah during evening' and mention in the OP that the builder is in Kollel so is off. No one would have flinched.
But to write a post titled 'Kollel men have holidays' for something to do with banging in the evening is screaming I hate and resent Kollel lifestyle.
Even if OP doesn't mean it that is how it comes across!
The title is irrelevant to her post.