Doctor checking private parts of teen

amother

↑ Maple ↓

Thu, Oct 10 2024, 1:56 pm

amother Teal wrote:

It's not taught in yeshiva because you're the parent, this is on you

And exactly how am I supposed to know? When my son was diagnosed, literally everyone I knew had never heard of this. As a girl I was taught how to check myself for lumps in school. My kallah teacher reiterated all the info I needed medically. The boys aren't taught anything at all. When my son had painless swelling, someone noticed in the mikvah and told him to go home and tell his parents that so and so said he needs to go to the hospital...

amother

Chicory ↓

Thu, Oct 10 2024, 2:03 pm

amother Garnet wrote:

If they don't ask a male dr checks females?
I find it strange, my dr is frum but the ob isn't jewish

Yes, he's a doctor for goodness sake.
Look how many women on this site use male obs.
I give my kids a choice when they get older, and some prefer the same gender dr and others don't care.

amother

↑ Chicory

Thu, Oct 10 2024, 2:09 pm

I also want to add for the OP, that I remember as an older elementary age kid going to the dr and being very uncomfortable being undressed/examined in front of my mother (even though we had a good relationship, I was private about my body), while I would have handled the dr seeing as I knew that she had to and I also knew that she sees undressed bodies all the time.

So maybe see, he might be ok with it if you leave the room. You can ask for a nurse to be present instead.

amother

↑ Beige

Thu, Oct 10 2024, 2:27 pm

amother Garnet wrote:

If they don't ask a male dr checks females?
I find it strange, my dr is frum but the ob isn't jewish

Um, yes? If you don't specify which doctor you want to see on a given day, you will see whoever is available at that time. Which, if someone is coming in because they're not feeling well is fine. If you're coming in for your annual checkup or because you davka have a concern about a sensitive area and you want to be seen by a specific doctor, then yes, you need to say so when making your appointment. Not sure what's so strange or confusing about that.

amother

Blonde

Thu, Oct 10 2024, 2:46 pm

amother Maple wrote:

Oh wow, that guy saved him!

amother

Caramel

Thu, Oct 10 2024, 7:24 pm

Dh had surgery when he was 10 to fix one testicle and it was too late to save. The Dr never explained tho that you don't need both testicles to have kids so they were always nervous for his fertility. BH everything is normal and we have children.

amother

↑ DarkKhaki

Thu, Oct 10 2024, 8:36 pm

I grew up in the US and saw my pediatrician regularly. I was never checked in the private area. Not by any doctor until I started seeing a gynecologist. Still don't get why a doctor would need to check that a girl is "developing properly." The Tanner stages describe the amount of pubic hair. Dr could just ask the parent (or child if she is older). In the case of boys I am understanding that there are serious things to check for.

amother

Jean

Thu, Oct 10 2024, 9:04 pm

amother Garnet wrote:

Why does it matter when he's 9??
Never heard of a Dr checking private parts

My son also had surgery...thankfully I allowed the doctor to check his private parts...

If you delay dropping the balls it can cause infertility

amother

Wisteria

Thu, Oct 10 2024, 9:24 pm

Since my son is born the doctor has checked. Since the age of 3 the doctor has been more sensitive and told him only the doctor can check because mommy let's and no one else should touch him there. My son is very self conscious and he gets anxious when anyone looks there. Once my son hits puberty I plan to send my husband for these appointments so that he isn't uncomfortable. He is 8 and we already talk about how it's private and even mommy shouldn't see for no reason. But doctors are just checking for a second and it's medical. But my son also has hf autism so I don't know the norm.

amother

Natural

Thu, Oct 10 2024, 9:36 pm

amother DarkKhaki wrote:

I don't think most young girls are given gynecological exams unless they have some kind of symptom.

They might have their genital region examined if they have urinary or backside issues of some kind. They could have a bacterial infection but again this would generally cause symptoms which would be why they were seeing a doctor rather than having the vulva examined if there are no issues.

I think male anatomy probably has more that needs to be checked externally so I think that it would probably be part of a normal physical check for a boy.

amother

↑ Rainbow

Thu, Oct 10 2024, 9:39 pm

amother DarkKhaki wrote:

The child may not answer accurately out of embarrassment or awkwardness.
A parent may have a reason to answer dishonestly.
A responsible pediatrician checks to make sure a child is developing properly in all areas.
For my boys: dr would ask permission or say why he needs to check and tells the boys to open their own pants. He doesn't force them. Nurse stays in the room as a witness and I stand outside the closed door. It is less than three seconds.
For my girls, similar. The dr (female) checks for signs of puberty and usually tells me later quietly that my daughter should start her periods within x amount of time.
Yes it's awkward and uncomfortable but it's quick and part of living a healthy life.

amother

Lemonlime

Fri, Oct 11 2024, 12:53 am

amother Maple wrote:

If the sac is larger than usual, tender or painful it is a medical emergency. I don't know why this is not taught to the boys in Yeshiva or at the very least in Chosson classes.

We also had a story with my 4 year old son. I have 2 other boys who are in they're teens and I never knew something like this can happen. My 4 year olds entire test*ical area became extremely blown up to crazy size. It was red and warm to touch. Of course this was on a friday night. We went to a neighbor who is on hatzlala. We use the tzadik dr shanik in lakewood. The hatzalah member sent us in a taxi to his house. Dr shanik examined him and said, not tomorrow, not motzai shab but NOW you need to go to the hospital. They need to do an ultrasound and make sure he didnt have test*culor torsion. Where it gets twisted and can affect fertility. This requires surgery. After spending the night in the ER, bh ultrasounds were clear they assumed it was a bite or an allergic reaction. Long story short this is something I never knew about and made sure to tell my teenage sons to always let us know if something happens in the private area.

Another point, my dr checks my sons yearly and tells them hes making sure theres no hernia. Once I offered to the leave the room for privacy and he said legally I need to stay in the room, so I just turned my head..

amother

↑ Burntblack

Sun, Oct 13 2024, 12:25 pm

amother Lemonlime wrote:

Thank you for this information.

Still waiting to hear a good reason why a teen girl would need to be examined intimately at a routine exam.

amother

↑ Garnet

Sun, Oct 13 2024, 1:52 pm

amother Trillium wrote:

Do you really bring you or your children to a Dr. and not allow them to check body parts because of tznius?

Not because of tznius, because it's violating for them
There's no good reason
I asked a friend who grew up in the US and they said their dr never checked either
Why's it not abuse

amother

Leaf

Sun, Oct 13 2024, 2:11 pm

amother Garnet wrote:

Not because of tznius, because it's violating for them
There's no good reason
I asked a friend who grew up in the US and they said their dr never checked either
Why's it not abuse

Same reason it's not abuse to get a blood test, or to wipe a small child after they use the bathroom. because it's does for health/medical reasons.
If the dr can't give a reason that they need to check, then it makes sense you shouldn't let. but there's nothing abusive about checking for medical reasons

amother

↑ Teal ↓

Sun, Oct 13 2024, 2:20 pm

amother Maple wrote:

How are you supposed to know to give your kids dental care? How would you know what to feed them? How are you supposed to know anything? You know this growing up, or learn about it, or ask the Dr
Why would it be the Yeshiva's job??