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-> Lakewood, Toms River & Jackson related Inquiries
amother
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 Today at 7:08 pm
Yeshivish
They don’t have white dresses.
They do have summer dresses with a lot of white but with other colors too.
Or will people be wearing winter with black tights?
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amother
Cyan
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Today at 7:10 pm
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I always wore whatever I had in my closet and most of the shul did too
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forever21
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Today at 7:30 pm
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They are teenagers. Why can’t they decide on their own what to wear on YK? Who is focused on fitting in, you or your teens? I assume that’s why you’re asking, bec you want them to dress like everyone else.
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amother
Lemon
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Today at 7:35 pm
| forever21 wrote: | | They are teenagers. Why can’t they decide on their own what to wear on YK? Who is focused on fitting in, you or your teens? I assume that’s why you’re asking, bec you want them to dress like everyone else. |
Wow.
What's wrong with asking?
I have a young teenage daughter. She asks me what she should wear. If I don't know, I ask. I don't say "no one's looking at you, why do you care to fit in, I certainly don't care to help you fit in?!?!?"
For arguments sake, if op's dd doesn't care but she does, what's wrong? As a child who's mother didn't care, and who tried not to show that she herself did care and felt embarrassed and hurt, I say good for the mother for caring. Dd might start caring at some point and it's not fun to realize you're a misfit.
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amother
Camellia
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Today at 7:35 pm
I really think that on YK, at least, the last thing anyone should be thinking about is "am I /is my dc dressed in the current fashion?"
People don't usually expect teens to have all-white outfits, and in the name of common sense, comfort and health, they should dress according to the weather. The only things that matter are non-leather shoes (halacha), nothing red (strong minhag), and nothing gold (strong minhag). If they have a white hoodie or sweater, even if they usually wear it on weekdays, great; if not, rest assured that it won't affect their future shidduch prospects.
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amother
Slateblue
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Today at 7:35 pm
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A shabbos dress it’s supposed to be 70’s so not heavy winter or very summery. Doesn’t need to be white. My girls have dresses with flowers or a knit sweater with a skirt anything in between
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amother
Emerald
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Today at 7:36 pm
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We usually try to find something to wear that has white, but I noticed that not many people seem to do that anymore. It might depend on the type of shul you go to.
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amother
Phlox
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Today at 7:39 pm
It’s going to be hot outside
But they should bring a sweater in case AC is pumping
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amother
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Today at 7:41 pm
| forever21 wrote: | | They are teenagers. Why can’t they decide on their own what to wear on YK? Who is focused on fitting in, you or your teens? I assume that’s why you’re asking, bec you want them to dress like everyone else. |
What in the world???
I happen to be an older mother without siblings and I don’t have anyone to ask. I’m not fashion aware and my girls often ask me what would be appropriate to wear. Often I tell them what I think but I advise wrongly and they feel uncomfortable and are upset with me.
So I figured I’d ask here before my girls ask. If they do ask.
I just want them to feel comfortable when they’re in shul.
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calvinhobbs
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Today at 7:47 pm
| amother Camellia wrote: | I really think that on YK, at least, the last thing anyone should be thinking about is "am I /is my dc dressed in the current fashion?"
People don't usually expect teens to have all-white outfits, and in the name of common sense, comfort and health, they should dress according to the weather. The only things that matter are non-leather shoes (halacha), nothing red (strong minhag), and nothing gold (strong minhag). If they have a white hoodie or sweater, even if they usually wear it on weekdays, great; if not, rest assured that it won't affect their future shidduch prospects. |
I took it to mean if there are certain norms and yes there are in some communities. I know only wear solids, and some wear all white for purity, others wear something light… and so on. I doubt there’s any one thing that everyone follows so you’re really fine with anything classy.
The only common thing I heard that “most” follow is not to wear any gold.
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amother
Pumpkin
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Today at 7:54 pm
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Usually summer and winter clothes they wear on Sukkos. But some will wear winter. I don't worry about white at all.
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mommyhood
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Today at 7:56 pm
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Regular Shabbos dresses with a sweater in case it’s cold in shul. Not specifically white, whatever color she wants. This year probably darker color but year round material since it’s later in the season but will still be warm-ish.
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zaq
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Today at 8:32 pm
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The people to ask would be dd classmates and friends, and she should be the one asking.
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ra_mom
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Today at 8:44 pm
| amother OP wrote: | Yeshivish
They don’t have white dresses.
They do have summer dresses with a lot of white but with other colors too.
Or will people be wearing winter with black tights? |
Regular shabbos clothes, all year round type- not thick heavy material but not summer white. Just no red on clothes or yellow gold jewelry.
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forever21
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Today at 10:03 pm
| zaq wrote: | | The people to ask would be dd classmates and friends, and she should be the one asking. |
Exactly this.
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amother
Lightcoral
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Today at 10:08 pm
| amother OP wrote: | What in the world???
I happen to be an older mother without siblings and I don’t have anyone to ask. I’m not fashion aware and my girls often ask me what would be appropriate to wear. Often I tell them what I think but I advise wrongly and they feel uncomfortable and are upset with me.
So I figured I’d ask here before my girls ask. If they do ask.
I just want them to feel comfortable when they’re in shul. |
I just don understand why YK is different than any time they’re in shul. Do you consult others before taking them shopping? As far as whether to wear black tights or not- I don’t understand the ques. If it’s hot out why would they need to wear black tights? Maybe in your area it’s diff but by me (and I do not live OOT) no matter what you wear there’ll be someone dressed like that too. I just think you’re putting too much emphasis on this and the need to conform.
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