What do teenage girls wear to shul on Yom Kippur?

amother

OP ↓

Thu, Oct 10 2024, 4:08 pm

Yeshivish
They don’t have white dresses.
They do have summer dresses with a lot of white but with other colors too.
Or will people be wearing winter with black tights?

forever21 ↓

Thu, Oct 10 2024, 4:30 pm

They are teenagers. Why can’t they decide on their own what to wear on YK? Who is focused on fitting in, you or your teens? I assume that’s why you’re asking, bec you want them to dress like everyone else.

amother

Lemon

Thu, Oct 10 2024, 4:35 pm

forever21 wrote:

Wow.

What's wrong with asking?

I have a young teenage daughter. She asks me what she should wear. If I don't know, I ask. I don't say "no one's looking at you, why do you care to fit in, I certainly don't care to help you fit in?!?!?"

For arguments sake, if op's dd doesn't care but she does, what's wrong? As a child who's mother didn't care, and who tried not to show that she herself did care and felt embarrassed and hurt, I say good for the mother for caring. Dd might start caring at some point and it's not fun to realize you're a misfit.

amother

Camellia

Thu, Oct 10 2024, 4:35 pm

I really think that on YK, at least, the last thing anyone should be thinking about is "am I /is my dc dressed in the current fashion?"

People don't usually expect teens to have all-white outfits, and in the name of common sense, comfort and health, they should dress according to the weather. The only things that matter are non-leather shoes (halacha), nothing red (strong minhag), and nothing gold (strong minhag). If they have a white hoodie or sweater, even if they usually wear it on weekdays, great; if not, rest assured that it won't affect their future shidduch prospects.

amother

Slateblue

Thu, Oct 10 2024, 4:35 pm

A shabbos dress it’s supposed to be 70’s so not heavy winter or very summery. Doesn’t need to be white. My girls have dresses with flowers or a knit sweater with a skirt anything in between

amother

Emerald ↓

Thu, Oct 10 2024, 4:36 pm

We usually try to find something to wear that has white, but I noticed that not many people seem to do that anymore. It might depend on the type of shul you go to.

amother

↑ OP

Thu, Oct 10 2024, 4:41 pm

forever21 wrote:

What in the world???
I happen to be an older mother without siblings and I don’t have anyone to ask. I’m not fashion aware and my girls often ask me what would be appropriate to wear. Often I tell them what I think but I advise wrongly and they feel uncomfortable and are upset with me.
So I figured I’d ask here before my girls ask. If they do ask.
I just want them to feel comfortable when they’re in shul.

calvinhobbs

Thu, Oct 10 2024, 4:47 pm

amother Camellia wrote:

I took it to mean if there are certain norms and yes there are in some communities. I know only wear solids, and some wear all white for purity, others wear something light… and so on. I doubt there’s any one thing that everyone follows so you’re really fine with anything classy.
The only common thing I heard that “most” follow is not to wear any gold.

mommyhood

Thu, Oct 10 2024, 4:56 pm

Regular Shabbos dresses with a sweater in case it’s cold in shul. Not specifically white, whatever color she wants. This year probably darker color but year round material since it’s later in the season but will still be warm-ish.

ra_mom

Thu, Oct 10 2024, 5:44 pm

amother OP wrote:

Yeshivish
They don’t have white dresses.
They do have summer dresses with a lot of white but with other colors too.
Or will people be wearing winter with black tights?

Regular shabbos clothes, all year round type- not thick heavy material but not summer white. Just no red on clothes or yellow gold jewelry.

amother

Lightcoral

Thu, Oct 10 2024, 7:08 pm

amother OP wrote:

I just don understand why YK is different than any time they’re in shul. Do you consult others before taking them shopping? As far as whether to wear black tights or not- I don’t understand the ques. If it’s hot out why would they need to wear black tights? Maybe in your area it’s diff but by me (and I do not live OOT) no matter what you wear there’ll be someone dressed like that too. I just think you’re putting too much emphasis on this and the need to conform.

amother

Strawberry

Thu, Oct 10 2024, 7:21 pm

In my experience, Yehsivish teens do not wear white. Unless it's happens to be what they have. Looking around Shul for the past 10 years I saw very little white.

Wearing white is a bigger thing by the more modern. No judgment, that's just fashion reality.

Chayalle

Thu, Oct 10 2024, 7:40 pm

Just a regular Shabbos dress, stockings, and non-leather footwear. And a hoodie/zip-up or sweater to take along to shul in case it's cold. My teens were always freezing because when you fast you are colder, and the a/c is one cuz the men are all in taleisim.

amother

↑ Emerald

Thu, Oct 10 2024, 8:01 pm

amother Strawberry wrote:

I'm in my 50s, grew up in a family and community that would be considered yeshivish today, although we didn't use those terms then. My family specifically wore white on yom Kippur and I remember learning in school that you're supposed to wear white, like malachim. Many women in our shul wore completely white clothing or at least partially white.

amother

Lilac

Thu, Oct 10 2024, 10:02 pm

Where I daven, the women wear a white tichel and some even wear a white shirtzel ( apron). Everyone is wearing simple Shabbos outfits. Most teenagers are wearing sweaters and long skirts.