Help! My 5 year old takes FOREVER to fall asleep

amother

OP ↓

Sun, Sep 15 2024, 5:25 am

My almost 5 year old takes about 2 hours to fall asleep every night. He lies there from 830-1030/11 before he’s finally sleeping. I also need to be in the room with him and lie down with him
Any advice besides melatonin? Thank you

fradiefraysie

Sun, Sep 15 2024, 6:29 am

That sounds so hard but I cannot believe you stay in the room for two hours - that is a huge imposition on you and probably not helping him learn to go to sleep. What happens if you leave?

I wonder if he’s over tired. My five year olds were asleep by 7.30. Have you tried an earlier bedtime in case that works?

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Sep 15 2024, 6:47 am

fradiefraysie wrote:

I go in and out of the room, he gets annoyed when I leave but I tell him I’m coming right back. I’ll put in a load of laundry quickly and then go back. I’ve tried doing bedtime at 8, it didn’t help.

amother

Honey

Sun, Sep 15 2024, 6:49 am

You're likely missing his sleep window.
From 6:30 start paying attention if there are a few minutes when he looks a little less alert, goes off by himself to curl up in a corner, doesn't want to talk etc. Try and have him in bed by that time. If you miss those few minutes, he will get his second wind and be up until 11ish.
It's a sign of a very strong biological clock.

amother

↑ OP

Sun, Sep 15 2024, 6:51 am

amother Honey wrote:

That’s so interesting, because my 3 year old usually falls asleep within a half hour. I will try a little earlier tonight

Sewsew_mom ↓

Sun, Sep 15 2024, 6:56 am

I have this issue when u miss her window. She needs to be in bed by 7. If it's after 7:30 I lose my whole night.
And I find she sleeps later when she goes to bed earlier.
Also dark shades and sound machine.

amother

NeonBlue

Sun, Sep 15 2024, 7:52 am

Does he have screen time the 2 hours before bed? What I’ve done is told such kids to pick a toy each night, take it to their bed, tell them they don’t need to fall asleep they should just play. When they focus less on trying to sleep and just relax and play they often fall asleep. Going in is probably making it worse, you need to try to avoid that.

amother

Lightcyan ↓

Sun, Sep 15 2024, 7:57 am

So many possible causes for insomnia. Diet and gut health are from the biggest ones, because most neurotransmitters are made in the gut.
Inflammation is a another biggie.
Other options besides melatonin:
Sleepy from bioray
L theanine, gaba and 5htp
Cbd oil
Magnesium footsoak or magnesium lotion
Magnesium oral throughout the day
Lemon balm

amother

Raspberry

Sun, Sep 15 2024, 9:17 am

You read a book
Say Shma

You leave the room

He stays in bed, without talking to you or coming out, until the morning

amother

Bergamot

Sun, Sep 15 2024, 9:29 am

Just validating that my 5 year old is the same, except I don't stay in the room. I put on a 2 hour audio story and I think he's sleeping.. and 2 hours later he pops out, the story is over, can I have another one LOL

I don't go crazy. If he's up, he's up.

↑ Sewsew_mom

Sun, Sep 15 2024, 9:34 am

amother Raspberry wrote:

You read a book
Say Shma

You leave the room

He stays in bed, without talking to you or coming out, until the morning

Sounds like such great advice.
But I want to say... This doesn't work.
Your child obviously doesn't have sleeping issues.
When I leave the room my daughter will stay up until after 10:30/11 by keeping herself awake. Shes bombed tired. She doesn't care. My husband put her to sleep for 3 years. She got into a really bad sleeping habit and I was so sure I can get her out of it. Turns out.. I wasn't as successful as I talked myself out to be.
I sing shema. I schmooze for 5 mnts and I lay with her for 5 mnts. Than I leave. She stays up until she falls off her face.

When I stay inside the room she tends to fall asleep faster but I really wanted to avoid that.
But what's so important is that she goes into bed by 7.

amother

Strawberry

Sun, Sep 15 2024, 9:39 am

amother Bergamot wrote:

I don't go crazy. If he's up, he's up.

He's most likely too invested & interested in the story to be able to relax & fall asleep.

amother

NeonOrange ↓

Yesterday at 8:49 am

amother Lightcyan wrote:

Do you have a link for specific oral magnesium I can give my dc?
Similar issue

Thanks

amother

↑ Lightcyan

Yesterday at 9:17 am

amother NeonOrange wrote:

Do you have a link for specific oral magnesium I can give my dc?
Similar issue

Thanks

How old? Can they swallow pills or willing to take an capsule opened into applesauce? Or do.you need a liquid?

Magnesium footsoaks and lotion are often more effective than oral, is that something you'd want to try?

amother

Nutmeg

Yesterday at 12:57 pm

I would also think about what he eats or drinks that might contain caffeine like cola soda.
Start bedtime routine at 630. Supper should be either as soon as he comes home from cheder which I'm guessing is 3-4 o'clock. So have supper ready then or latest 530. By 630 it's preps for bedtime, bath or just getting into pajamas and reading or playing quietly. Between 7 and 730 it's off to bed. You can put on some quiet music or even rainfall sounds. Another last hug for the day and good night.
It'll take some time to get used to. I wouldn't start now though because with yomtov coming up it messes up everyone's schedule.
I wouldn't rush to give melatonin. Call me old, but I don't believe in getting kids used to it. It's not healthy.

mom!

Yesterday at 1:06 pm

Buy him a weighted blanket. You say shema and read him a book or two. Leave him with a pile of books (can make it an activity before bedtime to choose books) and he needs to rest in bed looking at books. Dim lights.

amother

Currant

Yesterday at 1:15 pm

If you do not have a child that has a hard time falling asleep, please refrain from telling ppl how easy it is do this or that!

At my 8 yr old son well check up, my young dr spent 15 minutes lecturing me about how to put him to sleep including putting him in bed at the same time every night regardless of family events, shabbos or yom Tov !
Oh did I mention he's on ADHD meds that keep him awake and he's the youngest of 11? He has a bunch of married siblings and nieces and nephews...
He's an anxious child as well and a sibling with heavy duty medical issues ...
Thanks I know the theory! LOL