Anxious about yom kippur

amother

OP ↓

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 3:58 pm

This will be my first time fasting pp. I’ll be just about 3 weeks pp. I’m nursing and formula feeding. I’m not a good faster to begin with so very nervous and anxious. I also have other little kids in the house to take care of and my husband will be in shul 98% of the time. No family is coming to help so not really an option. So so nervous. Do ppl get heterim not to fast? Will I lose my supply if I don’t nurse, or should I nurse anyway and then top with bottles after. Would appreciate anyone who was in a similar situation and what helped them?

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 4:12 pm

My husb will come home by the afternoon break (if there is) , Otherwise he’s going to be in shul. Don’t want to start a fight over it. Would appreciate any advice of ppl who went through similar and how they managed.

amother

Green

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 4:18 pm

The thing is, your husband missing shul is actually the more halachically preferable option to you being more lenient about fasting. Maybe he needs a rav to explain that to him. The other possibility is to hire non Jewish help for the day.

amother

↑ OP

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 4:29 pm

I’m assuming I have to fast as of now. My main question really is what happens to my milk supply. Does my body still produce the same amount and it’s just not filling for baby? Or my body won’t produce milk because I’ll be dehydrated and I’ll have to work on creating a new supply after Yom Kippur? Also should I nurse or should I rather not and give bottles? I never nursed on a fast before. Also if ppl took anything or did anything before to help more with the fast I’d appreciate any advice.

amother

Orange

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 6:30 pm

You run out of milk eventually after 26 hours of round the clock nursing. I found I had supply issues the next day and the baby had to cluster feed or take a couple of bottles during the day to be satisfied. (I usually almost exclusively nurse).
I strongly suggest giving bottles throughout the day (and night) and not wait til you have no more milk. You need to pace yourself. It's 26 hours. Give more bottles than usual.

I also had years (such as when I had a C-section on Tzom Gedaliah) when my husband davened neitz and came home until mincha. He can still daven all the tefilos in shul and be around for a nice portion of the day.

happy chick

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 6:59 pm

Heter for yk is hard to get. Saying to a rav, but my supply will drop, is not going to get you out of fasting.

From personal experience, I did not lose supply after fasting. But idid get very weak toward the end of the fast, so I supplemented with one bottle. In general, nothing to do w nursing, I find that the day after the fast is hard to get back to yourself.

Try stretching the feeds, so if you pull some extra time from each feed, at the end of the 25 hours, you may eliminate one feed. And, ask a rav what constitutes an emergency and under what circumstances you should do shiurim.

amother

Magenta

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 8:28 pm

Your supply will likely dwindle towards the end of the fast. I would suggest to alternate one feed breast the next a bottle so that you’re baby doesn’t get fussy making for an even harder fast. You’re still early postpartum I don’t think it will effect your supply long term but may take a day or two to get back to normal. Also maybe hire some help for a couple hours to help with the other kids.

amother

Phlox

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 8:34 pm

amother OP wrote:

I don’t have any kids so don’t have any experience. But a friend told me today actually that she lost a lot of milk after fasting 9 b’av. it took her a few days to get it back. Maybe you could pump just to make sure for the days after the fast.

amother

Ultramarine ↓

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 8:35 pm

My baby was almost 3 weeks on Yom Kippur one year. I was nursing exclusively and also had a toddler and a 3 yr old.

I was very very nervous before. Bh it worked out better than I thought it would.

Some things I did:
-bought new toys for the other two kids
-prepared all food for kids in advance
-drank a lot before YK
-took the pre-fasting supplements
-didn't do much formal davening but davened to Hashem throughout the day in my own words
-Very powerful, I heard from a speech: "Just like I am taking care of your children with rachamim, please take care of all of us with rachamim and give us all only good".
-Nursing wise: I nursed a lot on yom kippur but toward the end of the fast my supply was dwindling. I had prepared a bottle of pumped milk in advance which I gave toward the end.
After the fast, after I ate and drank, I made sure to nurse a lot.

If you can get some girls to help you throughout the day, I would def reccommend that!

Hatzlacha!!!!

amother

↑ Ultramarine ↓

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 8:38 pm

tichellady wrote:

I would ask for a heter for shiurim. You don’t want to mess with your supply. You have a newborn

It's yom kippur. The mitzva of the day IS the fast. It's a deoraisa.

If she nurses on YK and gives formula as she said she always does, it should be fine. Just nurse a lot after.

amother

Pansy ↓

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 11:01 pm

amother Orange wrote:

That's not how it works. You're not running out of milk. It's not stored up. As you dehydrate you stop producing milk.

Your milk supply generally dips towards the end of the fast when your energy is dipping anyways. Then it'll be low for the next day or two. The key is to nurse extra over the next two days and that should get your supply back up to where it was.

amother

↑ Pansy

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 11:02 pm

I did it. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I nursed less two times less than usual and gave two extra bottles. Otherwise you know you try your best and take it easy as much as you can. It's hard but not impossible.

Like I said above, it won't affect your milk supply long-term as long as you make up the time after the best. Don't give up when your supply goes down the next day, just keep cluster feeding and it'll be up soon.

(Because your combo feeding, and you have a 3-week-old, your supply is actually going down with time. Regardless of whether or not you fast. You're establishing your baseline around now.)

↑ tichellady

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 11:10 pm

amother Ultramarine wrote:

It's yom kippur. The mitzva of the day IS the fast. It's a deoraisa.

If she nurses on YK and gives formula as she said she always does, it should be fine. Just nurse a lot after.

It’s not the baby’s mitzvah to fast. In my community, nursing mothers of young babies usually get a heter to do shiurim. She can ask.

amother

↑ Ultramarine

Tue, Oct 08 2024, 8:57 pm

tichellady wrote:

It’s not the baby’s mitzvah to fast. In my community, nursing mothers of young babies usually get a heter to do shiurim. She can ask.

And the baby won't fast. She is nursing and giving formula.