$1.60 in my bank account

amother

↑ OP ↓

Tue, Oct 08 2024, 9:35 am

amother Brunette wrote:

OP your situation sounds so difficult and I hope this year brings bracha and hat laces! Please look into remote roles for frum companies. I’m living in Israel getting paid 24/hr for 25 hours a week with flexibility so I do a few hours in the morning with daycare and the rest at night (they want US hours but it’s also helpful for me). 15k is too little anywhere, you need to look for part time roles or even full time REMOTELY so that you can work flexible hours that work for you.

So the thing is that I work in a very specialized field and make about double that per hour, but I get paid hourly and my work doesn’t always have a lot of hours, or it’s yom tov and I’m not working or whatever.

I have many times applied to jobs like this but they say I am overqualified and won’t take me.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Tue, Oct 08 2024, 9:35 am

amother Viola wrote:

If this is going on for years why does he think him getting a raise that will fix it? And a raise from 50k is going to be minimal and really won’t get you on to solid ground. You guys need a better long term plan this is not sustainable.

Yes I wish we had one. He did ask for a pretty large raise but it’s still not nearly enough for a frum family.

amother

Wine

Tue, Oct 08 2024, 9:48 am

As someone who moved very recently, it's pretty callous to just brush over moving costs and all that comes with it.

Not everyone is physically physically capable of renting a Uhaul and schlepping.
We were considering doing that and then realized that the time it would take (that we'd have to take off of work), the fact that none of us are experienced at taking apart bunkbeds and dressers, schlepping, and resetting it up.

We did around 1/4 of the move ourselves, it took us a week. The movers did 3/4, it took them 8 hours.
But the moving costs alone can run $3000-$4000.
Not to mention everything that needs to be bought - new lightbulbs because the kitchen lights are a different kind.

In addition to the inherent exhaustion and trauma to kids. And yes, it's trauma. Studies say that a move more than 6 blocks away is the 4th most traumatic thing to happen to a teen between the ages of 11-19. First being death in the family, 2nd being divorce, 3rd being serious illness in the family.

It really shouldn't be suggested so casually.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Tue, Oct 08 2024, 9:52 am

amother Wine wrote:

But of course because I’m poor I must not know how to think for myself and how to manage my money. And if I say no to something like this then I’m judged. If I was wealthy I would be viewed very differently.🤷‍♀️

Where does Hashem come in to this. If a wealthy person doesn’t work as much as he “should” no one would judge when a poor person works three jobs people yell he should work a 4th. Maybe some of this is not in our hands. I’m not saying not to do hishtadlus, not at all. But where is Emunah that I don’t ultimately control anything?

amother

Stonewash ↓

Tue, Oct 08 2024, 9:55 am

For those recommending to downsize their house and move, it’s not a simple idea.
There’s closing costs, moving costs… In addition if further out and a car is needed, you’ll be paying more for gas (tolls), longer child care as you’re further away. Also, if there’s younger kids in a crib or toddler bed, when downsizing, you need to make sure there’s enough room for all the beds and dressers, a couch and your dining room table and chairs.

Being isolated and cut off from the frum community and friends will affect your family, especially the children socially.

$1400 monthly for housing expenses is a great price.

Beh the financial dip will be temporary and you’ll get back on your feet

amother

↑ OP ↓

Tue, Oct 08 2024, 9:58 am

amother Stonewash wrote:

Thanks for the support. I keep davening that Hashem should open up good opportunities for us and grow my business

amother

Holly

Tue, Oct 08 2024, 10:39 am

amother Stone wrote:

This

I am the one who recommended the very radical moving idea.

Op has actually come across as very open to suggestions. I think the critics are people who have never understood the pressure of trying to balance everything and and juggle all the needs, including emotional.

Going behind her husbands back and bringing them to the brink of divorce would not help anyone, divorce costs even more. Op did great by working with her husband where he is and getting him to agree to tomchei shabbos.

Stop the judgement - its Aseres Yemei Teshiva for gods sake!

I agree, could people please stop with the harsh judgement? OP is obviously going through a very difficult time. She's doing what she can. It won't make her feel better to have strangers yelling at her!
OP I hope things get better for you very soon.

amother

↑ Stone ↓

Tue, Oct 08 2024, 12:16 pm

amother OP wrote:

This job does not make sense. If you are making double 24/hour, that means you are working about 26 hours MONTH (48 x 26 x 12 = 14,976). Thats a side hustle, not a job
I would keep looking into remote options not in your field that will give you 25 hours a week ( which is still very doable with childcare and not close to full time). It can take time, but when I was there I spent 30 min to an hour a day for 6 months until I found something. I considered it my hishtadlus.

Even becoming a teacher ( I know cleveland has a very real need) or medical billing ect. A basic job making 25 -30$ an hour for 25 hours a week, preferably something with a salary and not by the hour ( so you don't have the YT issue) and that offers healthcare as a benefit ( so you can cut the costs of healthcare for adults not on medicaid) would mean that you have double the income you have today.

amother

Pear ↓

Tue, Oct 08 2024, 12:46 pm

Do you have a Once Upon a Child store near you? They are a children's used clothing store. They pay cash on the spot for clothing, books, toys and gear in very good shape, and then they re-sell it. You won't walk out with tons of money, but if you can bring them some nice things you will leave with some cash in your pocket.

amother

↑ Leaf ↓

Tue, Oct 08 2024, 1:29 pm

amother OP wrote:

With just his work we qualify by about $100 with my work we don’t. I was on here a few years ago and everyone said I should work because we weren’t making it even on snap so here I am working. Now people say not to work lol.
We do get utility discounts, the threshold is much higher.

I really hope you didn't make the decision solely based on imamother. We NEVER know all the details and Imas are here from all different backgrounds and situations.
Can you find an additional part time job cause yours has very few hours?
What hours does your husband work?
How realistic is it to hope his raise will help you cover your mortgage, food, and cc debts? Is he planning on getting a 40-50% raise?

amother

↑ Ginger ↓

Tue, Oct 08 2024, 3:18 pm

Also, your income is pretty low, but still doable in Cleveland. With your income, you likely are not paying any tuition for children Kindergarten and above due to EdChoice income expansion. Even if you are not eligible for Medicaid insurance for you and your husband, you could go on United Refuah which is $349 a couple, I believe. You should be Medicaid eligible for your children.
You said your mortgage is $1600, I believe. You should still have plenty left for utilities and food, if you are careful.

Me and my husband's combined salary is not much larger than yours, though my family may be smaller. (and that is only due to a large raise this year. Last year I was making significantly less than you.) I do not consider myself poor at all. I never have to worry about putting food on the table. We have everything we need, and many things we want.
Something is not adding up...
Have you worked with an organization like Mesila?

amother

↑ Stone ↓

Tue, Oct 08 2024, 3:52 pm

amother Ginger wrote:

Op has cc debt from dh's failed business

And a large family with big kids

amother

↑ Ginger ↓

Tue, Oct 08 2024, 4:05 pm

amother OP wrote:

Over here she says she does not qualify with her salary added to her husband's

amother

↑ OP ↓

Tue, Oct 08 2024, 6:15 pm

amother Pear wrote:

Can you sign up to work at the polls on Election Day? I think it pays around $200. It's a very long day and I think you have to be there the whole time, so you'd need some coverage for your kids, but it's pretty good work for a day.

It will cost me more than that to have someone watch my kids